Page 42 of Unholy Matrimony

I understand that now. I center my entire life on this child and him. He is no longer the only one offering his life. I will gladly give my life to either of them.

1. baby

2. baby

3. Flower

4. baby

5. Yes

6. husband

7. baby

8. My lion

9. Flower

10. Flower

11. my queen

12. Papa is here, baby. I love you.

Chapter nineteen

Leonid

Rooms like this make me feel nauseous. I adjust the collar of my shirt. Hospitals make me feel like I am going to pass out. I am more than likely still having PTSD from my mama’s cancer diagnosis. I have trained myself to expect bad news whenever I am in a medical office. Today is the exception, I hope. Lina made an appointment with an obstetrician to find out if she was indeed pregnant, and just how far along she was. When the nurse brought us back into the room, she told Lina to undress, and being the man I am; I tried to interject. The nurse told me to either loosen up or get out of the room.

It’s freezing, and my poor zhena1 is lying back on the table in just a paper gown. I remove my jacket and ask, “Do you want my jacket, malyshka2? It's freezing in here, and your nipples being so hard are tempting me.” Her cheeks flush, and she snatches my jacket. She fans it over her, hiding the top of her body from view. She doesn’t seem as nervous as I am. Lina has a way of holding it together better than anyone I’ve ever seen. Probably has to do with the fact that she couldn’t display emotions in her home growing up.

Her feet are dangling off the table, and her socks are still on her feet. They are shaking back and forth, and it's the only sign that she is nervous. I reach over, pull a sock from her foot, and apply some light pressure. As I massage her foot, she relaxes. The shaking from the other foot stops. “You don’t have to do that. My feet probably feel like ice cubes,” she says. I scoff at her. “Tsvetok,3 this is the very least I can do.” I lean over and kiss the top of her foot. “If I could take the nervousness away, I would.” I return the sock to her foot and do the same with the other.

After a long thirty-five minute wait, the doctor finally knocks on the door. A man enters the room and Lina immediately tenses. Unsure if it's just because he is a doctor or if she knows him, my guard is up. “Privet4, I am Doctor Malenkov. This appointment today is for Kalina Igorova? He looks up from his clipboard and his eyes travel up her body to her face. “Kalina? Kalina Nikolova?” He looks back at his clipboard, puzzled. “You’re married?” The color from the doctor's face drains as he looks over at me. He extends his hand and speaks, “Kalina and my family were neighbors for many years growing up. I haven’t seen her since Christmas… two years ago, I think? Right, Kalina?”

My zhena5 is visibly uncomfortable. “Yes, that’s correct.” Her response comes out barely audible. I turn back to the doctor and pose the question, “Since you know my wife so well, maybe it would be best if we had a different doctor. No offense to you or your skills as a professional. But for modesty's sake, perhaps?” The man looks like I just kicked him in the balls. It was not the response he was expecting.

He poses the question to Lina: “Do you want me to request a different doctor for you? Or are we all good here?” he pats her thigh.

This man wants me to kill him. Either that or he has no sense of boundaries. I am leaning more towards he wants to die.

My fists clench and just as I am about to get up and swing on the good doctor, she speaks. “I think it would be a good idea for you to not touch me.” He promptly removes his hand from her thigh. "Ivan, I believe it would be best if you bring in another doctor," she says as she straightens up. Ivan silently nods and exits the room.

I lean over and ask, “So, why do we hate him, lyubov6?”

“I fucking hate him,” she says, the disdain dripping from each word. “He tormented me as a child, and only when he was interested in girls did he become ‘nicer’.”

Anger fills my thoughts. What the fuck does “nicer” mean? Not wanting to push things right now. Let's just get through this appointment. Not even five minutes later, a new doctor walks in and she quickly introduces herself. She asks Lina about her cycle and last period.

The doctor grabbed a little wheel and checked the dates. “So you should be nearly 6 weeks. Very early, we wouldn’t see much in an ultrasound, but we can do lab work to check levels. I have other labs to run as well. Do you want me to check with an ultrasound?” Lina’s eyes light up, “Da7!”

The doctor nods and leaves the room to grab the machine. While she is out, the nurse from earlier returns and draws blood. The doctor returned with the ultrasound machine, just as the nurse was taping cotton to Lina’s hand. “Alright,” she says, “Drape this over your legs and lift the gown over your stomach.” Lina follows the doctor's directions and lifts the gown. I take the blanket and cover her lower half.

The doctor has the screen turned away from us. That makes my nerves tense up. She is gliding the wand over Lina’s stomach when she says. “You are early. Most women don’t even know they are pregnant yet. I can try the internal probe.” She tries that way and after a few moments, she smiles. We turn to the screen in front of our faces, and on the screen, she shows us the tiniest little thing.

“Your baby measures right on track at six weeks and if you give me one moment,” she does some clicking with the machine, “You can hear a nice strong heartbeat.” Lina’s eyes are glistening with tears as she looks at our baby. The doctor says something along the lines of congratulations. I truly don’t hear, because I glued my eyes to the monitor. The little person forming inside my wife has completely mesmerized me.

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