Page 57 of The Breakdown

“Like hell.” She held her face. “Something’s got you all tore up.” She stared at her some more and when Natalie shifted her gaze away she seemed to know. She dropped her hands. “Ah,” she said. “Vaughn Marie.”

Natalie brushed away her tears, unable to deny it. Her breath hitched some more as she tried to compose herself.

“I told you I was afraid of this.” She moved to the sink, rinsed the eggs under the faucet, and nestled them in the deep pocket of her apron. She pulled a big mixing bowl from the cupboard and plucked a whisk from a drawer. She got to work cracking the eggs and scrambling them with some half-and-half from the fridge, seasoning them with salt and black pepper. Natalie noticed that June liked to busy her hands while she tried to work through something. Seemed to be a family trait, as Vaughn liked to stay busy as well. She wondered how hard she was working in the stables right now after their brief but telling talk. Was she mucking out those stalls as hard as she could? Forking that fresh straw into each clean stall till her heart was pounding and her sore back thrumming?

Maybe that’s what I should do. I should stay busy. Pretend it all isn’t happening. None of it. Not Allen and his harassment and pursuance, not my financial situation, and not Vaughn and her casual but firm brush-off.

“I’m gonna go back to the bungalow to shower.”

“Will I see you at breakfast?” June asked, somehow knowing that she preferred to skip it this morning.

“Maybe tomorrow,” she said. “I don’t really have an appetite this morning.”

June simply nodded when she’d thought she’d argue and insist on her coming. “I understand.” She wagged a finger at her. “But you still need to eat. So I’ll bring breakfast by in a short while.”

“June, that’s really not—”

“No arguing now.”

Natalie conceded. “Okay.”

“You go on now. Go take care of you.”

Natalie thanked her and said a soft good-bye. She walked out of the house and toward the bungalow. Dawn was finally breaking and Diablo seemed to take in a huge breath before he let out his first crow of the morning. She ducked inside the guesthouse and muffled his cry as she closed the door behind her. She considered showering but thought against it, needing some hot tea first.

She filled a cup with water and placed it in the microwave to heat. As she waited, she glanced out the front window and saw Vaughn exiting the stables, wiping the sweat from her brow with the back of her arm. She bent to rest her hands on her knees and then palmed her back as if in pain. Her face contorted as she straightened, and Natalie’s heart lurched. Everything in her told her to go to her, to help comfort her somehow. But she couldn’t. Not anymore. Vaughn had made it clear that what had happened between them was a mistake.

A mistake.

Those were her words.

She teared up again and looked back to the microwave. The timer beeped and she got her mug and bobbed her tea bag into the steaming water. She sat at the kitchen table with her back to the living room and the front window. She couldn’t bear to see Vaughn and she wondered how she was going to cope. Dealing with Allen was so much easier. She knew to steer clear and far away from him. He was maniacal and dangerous. An easy read.

But Vaughn was so drastically different. She was deep and kind and strong. And so damned appealing with her quiet way. And the way she kissed, so fervent, so passionate, like she couldn’t get enough of her. Natalie knew that it would be impossible to get over her. To just move on like nothing had ever happened. She sipped her tea and focused on her troubled thoughts, conceding to one solution in particular.

It wouldn’t be pleasant and it definitely wasn’t smart or even feasible, but she felt she had no choice. It was what was best for her, and June had said to go and take care of herself.

Would June understand? For that matter, would Vaughn? Did it even matter at this point?

She finished her tea and went into the bedroom. She stripped down and showered, crying under the cascade of water. Crying like she’d never cried before. Until it hurt, until her ribs ached, and her raw throat begged for mercy. She cried for her troubled past, for her lost childhood, for her mistrust in Allen and the abuse she suffered at his hand, and for her heartbreak with Vaughn, a soul she really thought she’d truly connected with.

She cried for it all.

And when she emerged from the shower, once the water ran cold, she felt better. Could think clearer. And that’s when she began to put her new plan into motion.

Chapter Twenty-five

June wrapped her knuckles on the door and waited. Behind her, the day was beginning, the sun trying to break through some morning clouds. Diablo was on the fence of the coop, on his last crows, and she was grateful. She had a hell of a headache and the little banty rooster crying with all his might was not helping. Breakfast had been relatively peaceful, with Vaughn eating her food in silence as the boys spoke of the day’s plans. June didn’t say much, though she’d wanted to. But she felt it best to leave the situation between Vaughn and Natalie alone. Even if she wanted desperately to grab Vaughn by the collar and shake some sense into her. But she knew from the past, that that wasn’t the way to handle Vaughn. One had to tread carefully and let her think that things were her idea. Easier said than done.

She waited a few more moments and knocked again. The plate in her hands was quickly cooling. What was taking Natalie so long? Was she still showering perhaps?

She knocked again and turned the doorknob and eased the door open. She didn’t want a repeat of last night, so she called out.

“Natalie? You there?”

No answer.

She called out again. “Vaughn, you’re not in here are you?”

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