Page 12 of Better Than Expected

Caroline didn’t stand close to her, not like she normally did. Not at all through the party. Not once.

Hannah didn’t know how to deal with that, because on one hand she was grateful for the space but on the other… she was already so confused and she didn’t want things to change. She desperately did not want more things to change in her life.

Caroline approached her for the first time since she’d arrived with her hands tucked into her pockets, at the end of the evening, and had given Hannah a little smile. “Hey. I just wanted to come and say goodbye.”

“Goodbye?” She’d asked. “The party’s still going.”

Caroline nodded slowly, shoulders shrugging up to her ears as she kicked her sneakered foot at the grass. “Yeah, but I have an early breakfast meeting with a client tomorrow that I still have to prep for, and… you know. Takes time.”

Hannah had been married to someone who’d lied to her face for nearly a decade. She could spot a lie from a mile away, from someone who was much better at it than Caroline.

Caroline had become the person who was the first to arrive in Hannah’s life and the last to leave.

She wasn’t the person who left early for flimsy excuses.

But she couldn’t push it, because what could she say?

She wanted things to be normal between them. And if Caroline felt embarrassed about what had happened the night before and needed some more time to get back to their baseline, then Hannah could grin and bear it.

“Right,” Hannah said softly, brushing her hair back from her face. “I’ll see you Tuesday?”

She held her breath for that moment, crossing every finger and toe before Caroline smiled. A small one, not her full, big, confident one. But a smile nonetheless. “Of course.”

She breathed out a sigh of relief, because at least she could count on that. Caroline wouldn’t break her word, she was sure of it.

Still, it was stilted and weird and she felt off about it for the rest of the afternoon.

There was something inside of her that she couldn’t quite… put a finger on. About this whole thing. About everything, and… ugh.

She flung her arm over her eyes as she laid in bed late that night, thankful that Abbie and her friends’ giggles and whispers and squeals had slowly quieted into sleep by now. She needed time with her thoughts.

“You know that woman is in love with you, right?” Robyn’s words rang in her ears.

She’d laughed Robyn off then and had continued to do so for months afterwards. Caroline could have any woman she wanted! Hannah was positive of that. Caroline was absolutely gorgeous, she was incredibly intelligent, she was capable, she was the most thoughtful person in the world.

What would she want with Hannah?

But Caroline had leaned in to kiss her last night. She’d initiated that whole moment.

Hannah frowned, then, eyes snapping open as she stared up at her ceiling, the fog in her brain shifting ever so slightly. Had Caroline initiated it?

She squinted, thinking back to the night before.

Caroline had stopped over to help bake. She’d put the cupcakes in the oven… and she’d turned to face Hannah, wearing only her thin camisole after she’d shed her suit jacket upon arrival. It had been so hot baking for hours and hours in August.

They’d been drinking – not enough to be drunk, but enough to let go. She’d apparently surprised Caroline by telling her about Abbie’s hero worship, which seemed insane to her. How did Caroline not know?

“Must get annoying, hearing about me all of the time,” Caroline had teased. “Caroline’s so amazing, Caroline needs a superhero cape, Caroline is just so good at everything.”

Hannah had laughed quietly, reveling in this feeling they’d built between them over the last eight months. Where they’d moved from client-attorney to friends to best friends. It was the closest she’d ever felt to another human being, if she was honest with herself. It felt foolish, almost, saying that at her age after having been married for over a decade, but it was all true.

She’d skimmed her eyes down Caroline’s clavicle over the three freckles she had on her chest – huh. When had she memorized those? – and it just amused her.

To see Caroline covered in the chocolate cupcake batter was amusing to her because Caroline… she really did seem to be good at just about everything else. But when it came to baking, she never quite hit the mark, and she made a total mess doing it.

It was rather endearing.

She didn’t know why, she had only known that she had to trace her fingers over it. Over the batter, tracing her fingertips over the mess Caroline had made of herself. She’d only been mixing the batter! How… Hannah had shaken her head, fondly tracing the long line of chocolate that Caroline had apparently whipped right out of the bowl and onto herself.

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