Page 74 of Stolen Slave

Resisting the need to find him and apologize, I went to the garden room instead. He’d added dirt to the beds at some point, along with a pile of cushions near them. I sat there, closed my eyes, and tipped my head back. The lights above made it feel like I was sitting in the sun. Warmth seeped into me, and I lay back with a stretch.

Space didn’t make sense to me. If not for Khorahn, I’d say there wasn’t anything good about a vast nothingness filled with aliens who wanted to use humans for sex. No thanks. But I didn’t feel like that with Khorahn. With him, I felt safe. Cared for. Cherished. And that was without sex. Was that all real, though, or a byproduct of his scent-markings? I just didn’t know.

I turned onto my stomach and stretched out my arm to look at my skin under the lights. A faint shimmer lingered. Once it disappeared, would my connection with Khorahn disappear?

Would that thread of fear I felt about leaving him disappear with it?

I wasn’t sure what to think or feel.

Tucking my hand under my cheek, I lay there and stared at the mound of dirt next to me. Dirt. Something so common back home but precious in space. I shook my head. Everything was so different. Home was better.

Are you sure? a little part of me whispered.

I woke alone in Khorahn’s bed and struggled to remember how I got there. I remembered the garden room and “sunning” myself. Then nothing. I had to have fallen asleep. Had Khorahn found me and carried me back here?

Stretching, I stood and shuffled to the door. The itch to find Korhahn was less of an itch now and more of a curiosity as I made my way to the bathroom. I used the toilet and felt a throb of need when I finished. But it wasn’t mind-numbing in its intensity like it had been. Did that mean I was almost back to normal? Why did that make me feel so guilty?

Surprised at what I was feeling, I looked down at my arms again and saw very little shimmer remained. That was a good thing, right?

I left the room without showering and made my way to the kitchen. My stomach growled, but as I stood in front of the food processor, I felt incredibly sad. It wasn’t because Khorahn had never taught me to use it. It was because he wasn’t there to take care of me.

What would happen when I returned home? To my apartment where I lived by myself? To my life filled with a job I used to like and friends who I used to go out with on the weekends? Would I still like that life? Would I still find peace in the independence I’d established for myself, or would it feel lonely?

I left the kitchen and stood in the hallway.

“Khorahn?” I called.

Silence answered.

I started down the hallway, calling out as I moved. It wasn’t until I’d almost reached the huge space where he’d kept the gems that I heard him answer.

That weird suit that had swallowed him whole was just sliding down his face when I entered. His ears twitched toward me, and I watched him inhale.

“Why are you sad?” he asked.

I opened my mouth to give him an honest answer but then paused. Was the answer honest, or was it just part of coming down from the hold he had on me?

“I’m not sure,” I said. “But I think I missed you.”

He nodded, watching me. And I hated it. I hated that he wasn’t coming to me and picking me up so I could snuggle against him.

“I feel a little unstable. Maybe I’m just hungry. Can I bother you to make me something to eat? I went to the kitchen, but I still don’t know how to use that machine.”

He stood there with that suit loose around his hips, not making any move to come to me.

“If you don’t have time, that’s okay,” I said, turning away.

I’d almost made it to the door when his arms closed around me, and he picked me up.

“You’re afraid and angry and sad all at the same time,” he said, looking down at me. “Since I can’t scent-mark you to calm you, tell me what I should do instead.”

“Holding me is good,” I admitted, meeting his gaze. “Sometimes hugs can fix a lot. Emotionally.”

He dipped his head to rub his nose against mine.

“And this?” he asked softly. “Does this help?”

“Yeah,” I said on an exhale, tipping my face so he could nuzzle me more easily. The gentle brush of his nose over my skin soothed away the loneliness. His soft exhales warmed my face and made me feel loved and cherished again.

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