Page 82 of Here With Me

Sadie’s mom gently shook her. “No buts. Have faith.”

What choice did she have? She couldn’t fix it on her own, couldn’t think her way out, couldn’t will anything to change. She could only trust God.

“How long have you known all this, Sadie girl?”

“Not quite two weeks.” Sadie settled back down on the couch because her legs trembled.

“No wonder you’re exhausted. Let me get you something to eat.” Her mom stepped into the kitchen.

Her dad sat back down in his recliner. “Have you been carrying this alone since then?”

A rough cuticle poked her thumb as she ran it over her nail. “David knew.”

“He’s been good for you this time. I’m sure he’ll be there tomorrow to support you.”

Her dad’s confidence was misplaced.

“No, he won’t. He’s made his choice, and I’m not it.” Her dad grunted and Sadie held up her hand. “Don’t. I don’t want him there. Ten years ago, maybe I should have fought for us. But not now. I’m different now. The situation is different, and I have to think about Lottie. David made his choice. It’s time to let him go. Time to move on.”

As much as it hurt, as much as she wished things could be different this time, they weren’t. This was one thing her dad had wrong. He may be right about God. The good Lord had gotten people out of pretty tough places in the past. Maybe a miracle could be in her future.

“Ok, Sadie girl. I won’t say anything more about David. But I’ll trust God to work everything out.” A confidence and faith that Sadie longed to have flowed from him. Until then, maybe if she said the words, the faith would appear.

“I wish I had that kind of trust, Dad.”

Her dad covered her hand with his own. “Trust is a learned behavior. The more you do it, the easier it becomes.”

“But I trusted God to work all this out.” Sadie had asked His blessing, followed through every open door. Given everything she had to save the store, given her life to care for Jeremy and now Lottie. It wasn’t enough.

She had tried trusting.

It hadn’t worked.

Her dad’s large hand squeezed hers, and he shook his head. “Trusting God isn’t a matter of making plans and then asking Him to bless. Trusting God is asking Him what plans to make then doing the ones He lays out. Trusting God is knowing He’s already seen your future, already has it planned out, and even if you go through some ups and downs, it’s going to be worth it, because He’s already taken care of it all.”

No wonder trust brought about peace. If she could trust God to work out all the details, if she didn’t have to carry that all by herself, it would help. She hadn’t really asked God about the move, about the adoption, about David. She’d asked God’s blessing, but his advice? Nope, not that.

Her dad gestured toward his Bible. “Before you walked in, I was reading in Exodus chapter eight, where the flies had invaded Egypt during the infamous plagues.”

“I know the story of the ten plagues. Learned them back in Sunday School as a kid.”

“I know. But this stuck out as I was reading. The flies? They were everywhere. Ruined tons of stuff.”

“And Moses prayed, and the problem was solved.” See? She’d paid attention. Had even told Lottie the story.

“Yes, but did you notice that after Moses prayed, all the flies left?”

“All the flies? Really?”

“It says not a single fly remained. God controlled them all. Every tiny little detail surrounding each individual insect. If God can take care of each tiny little bug, He certainly can take care of you. Of Lottie. Of the store. So, we’re going to pray, and we’re going to trust, okay?”

Perhaps it was time to pray and ask God’s guidance, not just His blessing. Pray that God would remove the ‘flies’ in Sadie’s life. She’d pray that Lottie would be protected. That whatever was best for her would happen, even if that meant losing her to Doris and Patrick.

While Sadie had convinced herself that to succeed, she couldn’t depend on anyone, she’d unknowingly self-sabotaged it all, allowing all the pesky flies to eat up her life. Without God, she would never have the peace, the love she so desperately wanted.

Her faith might be a little out of practice, but she knew that God would forgive her pride and help her to trust in something beyond herself.

That elusive peace that had been just out of reach filled her. She turned her hand over and squeezed her dad’s.

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