Page 75 of My eX-MAS Emergency

“You seem happy, though.”

Oddly enough, I was. “I am.”

“Does Tristan have anything to do with that?” she casually asked.

“Maybe.” I didn’t want to talk about my love life when hers was a dumpster fire.

She tilted her head up. “I don’t think he ever stopped loving you. Um … he got a tattoo that uh—”

“I know. But if you knew, why didn’t you tell me?”

“Because.” She smiled. “No one was supposed to talk about it. The first time we saw it at one of our pool parties, he said not to even ask. But I didn’t have to ask. I knew. It was like a part of him died when you left. And I could see the way he would look at you when he braved coming over whenever you were in town for Quinn’s birthday.”

“And how was that?”

“Like he was missing the best part of himself. No one has ever looked at me like that.”

“Oh, Stella.” I kissed her head. “I hope one day you’ll look in the mirror and you will see a person who loves you so much she’ll do everything she can to make you feel safe and comfortable in your own skin.”

“I want that so much,” she whimpered.

“That’s a start.”

She nodded.

“When Quinny comes home, let’s snuggle in right here and have a slumber party. Just us girls.”

“I’d like that. But what about Tristan?”

“He’ll be there when I’m ready.”

I can’t tell you how happy that made me.

CALISTA

I WAVED GOODBYE TO STELLA and Quinn early on Monday morning. They were dropping me off at work since the roads were still dicey and my car was still stuck under the snow in the hospital parking lot. I supposed I couldn’t put off car shopping any longer.

Quinn smiled and waved back. The light was coming back into her eyes. We’d spent all last night after my shift having a girls’ night. We played several rounds of UNO and ate raw cookie dough, because we liked to live dangerously. It was the first time in a long time that I’d hung out with Stella. The real Stella who snorted when she laughed too loud and ate simple sugars. She was even up super early this morning to pack Quinn a lunch. They were headed out to breakfast before Stella dropped Quinn off at school. I prayed this was going to be a permanent change. Stella promised she would call the therapist that some of my coworkers had recommended.

I walked out of the bitter cold and into the hospital, headed straight for Deidra’s office. I wanted to talk to her in person about Tristan. Tristan, who had already texted me this morning saying how much he missed me. And maybe it came with a picture of my kitten on his bare chest. Poppy never looked so cute.

I missed him too, but I thought it was good to spend a day apart. Especially since it embarrassed Stella that Tristan knew about Skippy. I could understand that. Besides, it was probably good to have a cooldown period to make sure we were making the right decision. Make that I needed to make sure. Tristan was fully on board. I definitely wanted to jump on the train. I just wanted to be sure it wasn’t going to end in a wreck. And maybe I enjoyed torturing him a little. Granted, I needed to make good on my promise for “fun.” At least to find out if Steve lived. Quinn wouldn’t tell me either.

Deidra was waiting for me in her office, a pensive smile on her face like she knew what I wanted to talk about. As soon as I shut the door, she said, “You’re still in love with Tristan, aren’t you?”

I leaned against the door and nodded. “Yeah.”

She pressed her lips together until they were a thin line, thinking about what to say. “This complicates things.”

“I know, but if it makes you feel better, I never stopped loving him. I just hated him.”

She tapped her fingers on the desk to what sounded like the beat of “Jingle Bells.” “I should have figured this was going to happen. How many times did I see that man sitting with your mom, doing a puzzle with her, or making her tea?”

He really was so sweet to my mom. He would always arrive early for our dates, even if I wasn’t yet home, just to keep Mom company. Tristan said he doesn’t do much for others, but it’s not true. I’d forgotten how thoughtful he was.

“Deidra, I know how much is on the line here, so if—”

She held up her hand. “You shouldn’t have to choose between your career and love. I’m sorry if I’ve made you feel you might have to.”

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