Page 63 of To Hate Adam Connor

“Do you?”

I looked away from him. “I have to give you the backstory first. I don’t know who my father is,” I started, surprising myself. Was I actually going to tell him about myself? The words just wanted out, so I guessed I was. “According to Catherine, my grandma, my mom was completely in love with him. They were living together, but when he learned that she was pregnant with me, he packed his stuff and left. Apparently he’d already told her he never wanted to have kids, so he saw it as a betrayal. After I was born, apparently my mom decided she didn’t want to have me either and dumped me on Catherine. And Catherine…well, she took me in, but she is a very difficult woman.”

I glanced at Adam to see if he was even listening to me. When our eyes met, he lowered his head in a small gesture. “Go on.”

I huffed; it would’ve been easier to stop talking if he was just ignoring me. “Catherine…now Catherine never married either, but she was living with the love of her life and then they had my mom, so it was all sunshine and rainbows for a good long while, I guess. But when my mom was two years old, dear old Grandpa started cheating on Catherine and then left her for the other woman, actually getting married to her a month or so later. Catherine returned home, which wasn’t the best thing apparently because her own parents—who were not married, by the way—treated her like shit. Still, she raised my mom as best as she could, but turned very bitter in time. When my mom dumped me on her, they weren’t even talking to each other, so obviously the women in our family are pretty fucked up and there are no men in sight.”

I gave him another glance and found him waiting for me to continue. “So we’re cursed. And Catherine…well, she took care of me when my mom left, but like I said, she is very controlling and difficult. To everyone looking in from the outside, it looks like she is an angel for taking me in, but that’s not how it was. She wanted me to be a version of her. Nothing I did was right. There was only her way and when you didn’t follow her rules or do what she wanted you to do, she knew how to throw everything she ever did for you in your face. I don’t think she is mentally stable, actually, but she did take care of me instead of kicking me to the curb, so I do owe her, I guess.”

There was a moment of silence.

“Cursed?” he repeated my earlier statement. “Is that why you said you don’t do love the other day?”

“I said that?”

He nodded.

Me and my big mouth.

And he remembered?

“Huh…I don’t remember saying that to you, but yes. I don’t want to end up being a bitter woman like them. And it doesn’t look like we have any luck with love as a family, does it? So why force it? I’d rather be single and happy than fall in love with someone, pop out a kid…and then have him cheat on me or leave me when things get rough only to go and marry some other chick.” I shook my head and hugged my knees. “The women in our family don’t get marriage proposals. So, no, thank you. I’m much happier when I watch other people fall in love, makes me happier without all the heartache.”

“You’ve never fallen in love with someone?” he asked, as if that was the most ridiculous thing he’d ever heard.

“I didn’t judge you for wanting a normal life, now, did I?”

He leaned forward and put his elbows on his thighs, dangling those sexy forearms in front of me as his eyes pierced my own. “I wasn’t judging you, Lucy.”

Why did I have to get all flustered when he was looking at me like that? I reached for the water bottle and took another sip to pass time. “Well, it sounded like you did.” I gave a small shrug. “Anyway, with a woman like Catherine, I needed the escape. When I was in bed at night, I used to close my eyes and imagine being somewhere else.” I gave him a quick glance. “I didn’t imagine a different life, or someone coming to my rescue, but I enjoy closing my eyes and going somewhere far away. It calms me. Or sometimes I imagine I’m a waterfall, or the wind, or the sun. Essentially, by dreaming, I created my own sunshine for the days I needed it. It was my escape. I know it makes me sound like a crazy person, but it helps me calm down, so fuck you if you think I’m crazy.”

He let out a loud laugh, and I slowly got up from my seat. See, I had plenty of reasons to hate him. I knew it made me sound like a crazy person, I knew it, but that didn’t mean it didn’t hurt to see him laughing at me. I gently threw the water bottle on his couch and headed for the glass doors. Maybe Olive would let me cuddle up to her for a while. I was feeling a little sick after all. She wouldn’t be so cruel as to turn me down.

Before I could open the doors and step outside, Adam caught me by my wrist again—I swear the guy had a fetish of some sort. I looked back at him over my shoulder and tried to shrug him off, along with the tingles his closeness and touch were sending down my spine. I wasn’t angry or anything, just tired and, well, yeah, maybe a little hurt. “I’m glad to be your amusement for the night, but I think it’s time for me to leave.”

“Don’t,” he said, his thumb gently moving over the sensitive skin on my wrist. My brows drew together, and I looked down at where he was touching me, but his finger had already stopped moving, as if it’d never happened. “I wasn’t laughing at you, Lucy,” he said in a soft tone, and my head jerked up. We were standing a bit too close. He must’ve come to the same conclusion because he let me go and backed off.

I didn’t sway toward him at all. Not me.

He put a hand on the small of my back, and geez he had big hands—all the better to hold me with, I guess—and gave me a gentle push back toward the couch.

I sat on the edge and watched him grab his phone from nearby.

“Let me call Dan and see what the holdup is.” He glanced up at me from his phone and added, “You’ve waited this long, he’ll be sad if he hears he missed you.”

He looked genuine, so I decided to stay. “Fine.” I scooted back into my seat and grabbed a pillow to hug.

Dan didn’t pick up, and I could see the frustration in Adam’s face. Pacing in front of me, he tried another number. When that didn’t work either, he let out a long sigh and rubbed the back of his neck.

“I don’t like this,” he said finally, his hands working on his phone.

“Did you try your ex?”

“She isn’t answering. Neither is Dan. Adeline might be on set, but Aiden was supposed to be at home with his nanny.”

“Maybe they’re on their way?” I suggested, a little worry creeping into my voice.

“They must be,” he mumbled, putting away his phone. “I’ll give them a little more time. Sometimes Aiden takes a lot of time to get ready.”

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