Page 36 of False Idols

She moves, body jerking away from the thud she heard by the door, which means she’s moving towards me. “Beau, stop.” She doesn’t scream, she doesn’t even speak those two words. She whispers them. “Please.” If I wasn’t right beside her I wouldn’t hear her speak at all.

“Why would I do something like that?” I ask her, not worrying about whispering. “I’ve waited years to mark you. I’m going to have my fucking fun. I earned this.”

Nevaeh starts to fight me. She tries to wiggle away and covers her ass with her hands. “Beau, no, please. Someone will see.”

“Good. Let them fucking see what I’m doing to you. Do you think anyone would stop me?” I lean forward and push her hands away from her and plant my forearm across her back as I do. “You earned this,” I say as I spank her. Once, twice, three times and she’s trembling against me. She buries her face into my side and I don’t stop when I feel her start to cry.

Her tears are a fucking drug to me. Nevaeh crying because of me is incomparable to any high in the world. I’m her everything right now. Nothing exists without me allowing it. There’s nothing but the pain I’m giving her. The way I control it. How I decide to mark her. It’s even sweeter to me that she’s stopped fighting me and is taking what I give her.

When I stop spanking her, she’s breathing hard and holding onto my thigh so tightly I know there’s going to be a bruise. I smile. I like knowing Nevaeh’s marked me tonight, just like I’ve done for her, but I’m not finished with her yet.

“Get on your knees,” I order and nudge her, raising one of my thighs to move her. She doesn’t move and shakes her head. She grabs onto my thigh and shakes her head again.

“B-beau,” her voice shakes and then cracks when she starts to cry again. “I’m sorry. Please don’t do this. Please.”

Nevaeh begging almost breaks me. I almost pull her up into my lap to take her right then, but I want this to last. I move fast, shove her right off me and onto the floor.

“On your knees, angel.”

14

NEVAEH

I’m face down on the floor and my ass is on fire. I was so stupid to let Beau into my room just because he said he would leave the door open. I turn my face and look towards the door. It’s still open, the light from the party flashes every now and then when the colors change and I debate trying to make a run for it.

But the last time I tried to run, he spanked me. My face goes hot even thinking about Beau spanking me and I swallow hard. I didn’t know he was going to do that, but I also didn’t know I was going to like that he did it.

Why did I like it?

Every slap of his hand against my ass felt like I’d earned it. All the guilt that I’d been carrying over the past four years started to seem less and less. Like I was finally being punished for what I’d done to him. It wasn’t enough, though. I need more. What Beau just did to me was barely a drop in the bucket of regret I’ve felt at getting to live my life while he rotted away behind bars.

I know what I have to do. What I want. It’s fucked up. It’s not something a girl like me should want. I’m a good girl. I took a purity pledge and didn’t kiss boys like my friends. I didn’t even entertain the half hearted courtship offerings from the boys at church, because I always knew it was Beau for me. Even if he’d never gotten out, I wouldn’t have wanted anyone else but him.

Even if he really was a murderer. It was always going to be Beau.

And I want him to make me pay. I want him to be rough with me and take his due out of my body, because then at least I’ll have that with him and it will be enough for me. It will be so much more than any other intimacy I’ve had with anyone else. No one knows me. No one has ever bothered to try and see me, but Beau does. He strips me down to the scared and weak girl that I am. When he wants me, I don’t feel like either of those things. I know that’s wrong, but I refuse to fight it. I want it more than I want to breathe and with that thought, I know I have to push Beau to give me the punishment I crave.

I get up from the floor and launch myself towards the door, but I only make it half a step before Beau has me in his arms. He’s at my back, his big body engulfing me and he yanks me back against him. The hard muscle of his chest and thighs fits perfectly against my softer curves. Beau wraps an arm around my waist and lifts me and that’s when I feel it. The undeniably hard length of him. His dick.

I’ve never felt a man’s dick before. I’ve never really thought about it to be honest, other than something I needed to avoid per the guidance of the church elders and the girls older than me. I knew better than to walk the line Minnie and the other girls did, because if a girl like me was found with a boy? That was something I wouldn’t be able to come back from. Minnie had money and a family people respected. If she fucked up and was caught with a boy, it’d be buried and forgotten in a few months, but me?

No such luck. I knew what happened to girls without a family and with hardly any money. Girls that survived off the charity of others and weren’t really embraced by those around them. I’d seen it with my own mother. She’d had to leave and start over because she made a mistake with the wrong boy, so I’d avoided physical contact and anything beyond holding hands because it wasn’t worth the trouble. Or so I told myself.

The truth was, I avoided it because none of them were Beau.

I kick my legs and try to wiggle free, but all it does is force my behind right up against Beau’s dick and he moans. One of his hands comes to my hip and he moves me the way he wants.

“Such a good girl, aren’t you?”

I shake my head. “No.”

“Don’t lie to me.”

“I’m not,” I whisper and blink away the tears. Shame rolls through me and wars with the lust heating my blood. I sink back to meet the next roll of Beau’s hips and it’s me that moans this time. I reach back and grip his thigh, my fingers digging into his hard muscle. “I’m not a good girl.”

Beau scoffs and leans close to my ear. “You’re my good girl,” he whispers and then turns me around to face him. He looks me over for a second and my knees go weak. He’s so beautiful it hurts me to look at him. He’s also terrible and horrifying. I don’t know what he’s going to do to me and I shouldn’t like that, but I do. He forces me down to my knees with a hand on my shoulder and this time I don’t fight him.

“Undo my belt.” Beau isn’t trying to be quiet like I am. He’s speaking like he doesn’t care who sees him and that makes me nervous. I do what he says but when I look towards the door, he slaps my cheek. “What did I say about looking at anything but me? When you’re with me, I am everything to you.”

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