Page 40 of False Idols

“You don’t get friends, Nevaeh. You don’t get anyone but me.” He spits those last two words at me like a curse. I hear the lock to my door click free and he leaves my room a second later, slamming the door behind him.

I lay in the dark for another minute before I cry.

15

BEAU

Having Nevaeh was even better than I imagined it would be, and that’s saying something. Not a day went by that I didn’t think about what I would do when I got her alone. In the beginning, I only wanted revenge. I thought about making her cry and beg for forgiveness. When I was depressed and lost, I even thought about what it would be like to choke the life out of her beautiful body. But some time in my four years behind bars, things changed.

I didn’t think about what it would be like to have Nevaeh’s lifeless body in my hands anymore, but I did think about what it would be like to have her under me. What hearing her sweet moans would be like while she rode my dick. I thought about her wet pussy, how fucking good it was going to be to sink into her—even in my imagination, I knew I was going to be the first one to do it.

Nevaeh was a good girl. She didn’t fuck around. In another world she would go to college and break her purity vow to some idiot she met at a campus ministry group. She’d be in love with him and they’d have fucking boring sex before they went on to have a boring fucking marriage and life. That was how Nevaeh was supposed to pop her cherry. To someone she loved. Instead, she got me.

I don’t love her. I’m obsessed with her.

She is fucking mine. Now, she always will be. Nevaeh isn’t going to tell anyone what happened tonight, just like she didn’t tell anyone about what I told her the first day I saw her or what happened with the football team. She could have gone to someone with that limp dick Dean, but she didn’t.

Four years ago she ran her mouth and ruined my life, but this time it is going to be different. She is going to keep this secret. This time, Nevaeh isn’t going to run her mouth. I know she won’t, just like I know Nevaeh won’t turn in the man that took her virginity. I read a lot of fucking books and had a lot of time to think and take the classes the prison offered. I know the standard shit as well as anyone, that virginity is a social construct. It has as much meaning as you let society convince you it has. Power and control are the reasons virginity is even an issue and even then, it’s only for girls.

Girls like Nevaeh.

Girls that might get too big an idea of what they might want in life or who they might want to do it with. Shit like that is dangerous. It’s just like the guards that watched us in lock up. They knew we were better controlled when they kept us apart. When they helped the stupid little sects and schisms grow until the prison population would rather turn on each other than the one turning the key in the lock to their cell. But even knowing all that, I wanted to be Nevaeh’s first. I wanted it to be me and, from the way she reacted, so did she. My good girl is tied to me now. She won’t give me up easily and that’s the way I want it.

“Oh my gawdddddd, Beau!” The screech is undeniable. It’s Ali. Fuck. I thought I ditched this bitch already.

I turn my head and see her stumbling down the hallway towards me with a smile on her face. Her eyes are glassy and she’s spilling beer out of her cup and onto the dorm floor as she walks. She’s definitely wasted.

I’m still in the hallway. Only a few feet from Nevaeh’s door. I left her room ten minutes ago, but I haven’t been able to leave. Something is keeping me here just a few steps to the left of her door. I’m curious to see if she leaves her room after what I just did to her, but I’m not stupid. She’s got a target on her back and there’s too many drunk fuckers in her dorm tonight. I know Jordan is here and I saw a few of the guys from the football team here tonight.

I know what could happen.

Someone falls against the wall and stumbles toward Nevaeh’s door, but I shove them away. “Keep fucking walking.” They trip and fall, get up and glare at me, before they do like I said.

The energy in the dorm has shifted. Before, it was light and free. Just a bunch of kids having fun. I remembered that feeling from the boy I was before, but now it’s different. There’s a heaviness to it. A frenetic sway and pull that feels the way my block felt before all hell broke loose and we all ended up in lock down because someone got gutted in the showers. Nevaeh’s dorm is like a powder keg with a lit candle on the edge of it. Just one wrong move could send it up. Bloom was always like this after The Reaper made an appearance. Everyone was scared, but what is fear but the other side of anger? Nevaeh is the easiest target for that kind of rage.

All it would take is one dumb ass with just enough jungle juice in his system to feel brave enough to teach Nevaeh a lesson. I’d rather die than let someone fucking touch Nevaeh.

I’m the one that bruises her skin. I’m the one that makes her cry. I’m the one she fears.

That’s for me.

My filthy liar belongs to me in every way possible. Tonight I took her virginity, but what I really want is her life. I want her heart, her mind, her soul. Every last bit of what makes Nevaeh human is going to be laid out in front of me to take apart at will. And when I do, she’s going to thank me for it. That means I protect her from drunk hicks, which suits me fine. It’ll play right into the “good guy” bullshit I’ve got going for me.

But Ali showing up now?

That’s a problem. From the looks of her blitzed ass, she’s horny and up to no good. I glance down the hall trying to spot Jordan, but he’s nowhere to be seen. He must have ditched her and now she’s trying to rally for a plan B. I grit my teeth and lean back against the wall beside Nevaeh’s door. I look casual, but just barely. If anyone was sober enough they’d probably realize they shouldn’t bother me, but there isn’t anyone on this floor that hasn’t had more than a few.

“Hey, how’s it going, Ali?” I greet her.

She stumbles up against me and throws her arms around me with a giggle. “Oh my gawddd, what a night. Where have you been all night?”

I turn to the side, angle myself away and clear my throat. “Around.”

Ali pouts and shoves her tits up against my chest. “I haven’t seen you for hours. I thought you went home.”

I cross my arms and use them to put space between us. Having Ali on me, having her touch me, smelling her sickly sweet perfume that’s turning sour from sweat, after I fucked Nevaeh, makes me sick. I’ve eaten a lot of figurative and probably literal fucking shit while I was in prison and kept my cool, but Ali makes me want to puke all over the goddamn floor. I roll my shoulders and glance towards Nevaeh’s door.

What is she doing in there? Is she thinking about me?

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