Page 44 of False Idols

“I mean, after what happened to that girl they found in the river. Everyone just…went back to normal. It’s like someone pressed the reset button around here. It’s so weird.” She looks around the quad and shakes her head. “This place is kind of messed up, Nev.”

“Yeah, I know.”

“We’re going to that football game though.”

I snort. “What happened to ‘this place is messed up?’”

“I mean, it is messed up, but we have to carve out as much of a college experience as we can. That means we are going to the first football game. If you aren’t going to let me be a matchmaker, then come to the game with me. What’s the worst that can happen?”

The last time I did as Sunny asked for the sake of a college experience I ended up alone and bleeding with Beau. I won’t tell her that, though.

“I don’t know…”

“Come on, Nevvvv. Please? It’s going to be so fun! It’s all anyone is talking about on campus. We have to go. Say we will,” she raises a finger in the air and leans back to look at me, “and before you try and get out of it, you need to come to this game. You’re going to graveyards and spending way too much time studying.”

“It’s for the Death and Dying database!”

“I said what I said, Nev.”

“Ugh. Fine.”

17

BEAU

I’m giving Nevaeh distance. Space or whatever the fuck it is. I didn’t want Nevaeh thinking about what we’d done and running home right after I finally got my first taste of her, so I let off the gas. I fucking hate it, but I’m doing it. Seems like the student body is taking its cue from me and are giving her breathing room too. I’m still keeping an eye on her, though. It wouldn’t suit me for someone else to sink their teeth into my girl while I’m taking a step back.

So far no one has made a move. I haven’t seen her go home once or her mother visit, which seems odd. From what I know, Nevaeh never spent any time away from home other than the church summer camps she helped at or the youth conferences Pastor Mike organized every year. My mother made sure to keep tabs on Nevaeh and her mother while I was locked up. She kept a close eye and did everything she could to keep them close and well connected in the church for fear they might move away from Bloom, but they never even made a move to spend time away, not even for vacations.

She’s not used to being away from her mother, so why is she now? Something doesn’t feel right there.

No one from Crown of Thorns talks to Nevaeh. There’s only her roommate that sticks by her and that fucker I want to gut when I see him sit next to her in class. If I’m reading things right, Nevaeh doesn’t like him much, but for some reason she doesn’t tell him to fuck off.

“The game is tonight. You ready, man?” Jordan claps me on the back so hard that if I wasn’t bigger than him it might make me stumble forward a step, but I just smile.

I plaster a fake as hell smile on my face. “Ready as I’ll ever be. Grateful for the opportunity.”

“Don’t worry about a thing, brother. I’m going to take care of you out there. You’ll make that bench look good, but we’re going to bring you in for some action, okay? It’s not a conference game so no worries on how it goes. We all know you’re not going to be solid right out the gate, but all you have to do is watch me.” He takes a deep breath and puffs his chest out as he walks. The sight is comical, because Jordan isn’t a big guy. You can’t be if you’re going to be a QB. You have to be fast, smart, and lean. Not big. So he looks like a fucking chicken with the way he’s strutting, but I keep my mouth shut while he talks. “I know you used to be top dog, but times are different. You’re doing good in practice and with the footage, though. I’ve been getting the run down on your progress and it’s good for what you’re working with. I guess they don’t really push cardio in the clink, right?” He laughs and it sounds like nails on a chalkboard. Like a fucking donkey braying with how loud and abrupt it is. He reaches back and claps me on the back again. My skin stings and there’s no denying that he’s trying to send a message with that hit. “You’ll learn everything you need. If you’re lucky, we’ll let you get some touches in a low stakes conference game. How does that sound?” Jordan sounds like a condescending fuck. It’s not what he’s saying but the shit eating grin on his face and his tone.

He thinks he’s better than me. He wants me to understand that tonight. Interesting. Why is he so threatened by ex-felon? I don’t give a fuck about the game, even if I’ve been going to practices twice a day faithfully and attending the team meetings and running footage with the rest of the team and coaches. I’m under no illusions that I’m not a charity case, being on the team as a third string QB as a twenty three year old freshman, but no one on staff or any of my teammates lets on they see me that way. Even if football isn’t something I care about anymore, it is nice to sink into a little bit of normalcy. I’m surprised I even recognize normal anymore, considering that I’m fucked up as they come.

In love or not, cutting Nevaeh shouldn’t have made fucking her all the sweeter. It did though. The control I had over her with the knife in my hand when we were together. Ecstasy. I played my role perfectly. I was exactly who she told the cops I was, told the entire town even, but she liked it. I could hear it in her cries. The way she moved under me. Nevaeh wanted to be with me, even when I spanked the shit out of her.

“It’ll be good to just get out on the field,” I tell him while memories of Nevaeh’s ass jiggling beneath my hand play on repeat in my head. In prison I got good at retreating into memories. Into those perfect slices of life that you swear you won’t forget but we all do, because they happen so fast. In prison, I learned to slow down my life enough that the seconds and minutes I took for granted were easier to grab hold of and stay a while. It helped me keep most of my sanity, most of the time. I suspect I’ll be doing it again here while I try to play it cool with Jordan and the others. Ali is already on my last fucking nerve. I let her kiss me at the party but that’s it. She’s arm candy for campus and for pissing off Nevaeh, but nothing more. My phone buzzes in my pocket. It’s probably Ali bringing up the football game, too.

Exhausting. I’ll have to cut her loose soon, even if her presence is a nice fuck you to Nevaeh. That only entertains me when it’s not inconvenient to me, and Ali is starting to become a burden with her uncanny ability to materialize wherever I am. I don’t like that she’s watching me that close. I glance over at Jordan. He’s talking again, another guy from the football team is with us now so at least I don’t have to pay attention to what they’re saying.

We’re walking across campus. Towards the quad for food. We had a pretty low key workout today more meant to keep us warm rather than push us to our limit. That’s going to come tonight. Right now we need fuel. With Jordan calling me brother and falling into step beside me, I’m going to fucking get stuck eating with this asshole, I know it.

I hate that I’m right and end up at a table with Jordan and half the team. Everyone is hyped for the game though, so it’s easy enough to blend in and watch Nevaeh. She’s just outside the doors. I can see her through the windows that line the dining area. She’s with Sunny and working on something. She’s bent close to it and even at a distance, I can spot the distinct dark smudges of the gravestone rubbing.

I don’t know why the fuck Nevaeh wanted to end up in a class called Death and Dying but she did, so I made my advisor make it happen. The class seems interesting enough, even with the time we’re going to be alone in graveyards. A dumb fucking choice given the fact that The Reaper hunts at random, but whatever. Bloom doesn’t seem to care much about the killer in the everyday scheme of things. The class is good though. I have Nevaeh close and I plan to make use of our alone time for the database project soon.

“Hey, Beau!” Ali’s voice makes me wince but I force it down and lift my head to see her approaching the table with a smile on her face. Somehow, Ali is in the class with Nevaeh and I even though it’s hard for underclassmen to get in.

“Hi, Ali. What’s up?” I ask. I catch Jordan straightening up across the table from me. I thought he cut her loose, but from the look on his face he doesn’t want anyone else talking to her. I decide to have a little fun since it’s a sore spot with the fucker.

“Haven’t seen you in a while, beautiful. You mad at me?”

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