Page 57 of False Idols

“It’s just Dean. No mystery man here,” I tell her with a little shrug and show her Dean’s message.

Hey! Are you at the big rager tonight?

Sunny sucks on her bottom lip and wiggles it but doesn’t say anything, even though I can tell she wants to say something. “What is it?”

She holds her hands up as we walk across the lawn where there’s beer pong set up and a group of guys passing around a giant mug and singing what sounds like show tunes. “Nothing, nothing.”

“Sunny…”

“Look, I’m not allowed to play matchmaker, but if I was, we both know what I think about it.”

“You’re right, you’re not allowed and Dean is just a friend, so let’s get a drink and I’ll tell him we’re here, okay?”

Texting Dean back is dumb, but it feels like a way to prove to myself that things are normal. Dean has been nothing but kind and considerate to me. He’s been just as steady as Sunny in the class that we share. He’s always offering to walk me places or to study. He’s even tried to take on Beau for me, even if it’s dumb. He doesn’t stand a chance where Beau is concerned. Then there’s the fact that I don’t want him getting between us. I want Beau in all of his fucked up glory, which doesn’t make me any better. I’m just as wrong and depraved as Beau. I keep letting what’s happening between us happen.

Yeah, we just got here! Getting drinks now. Where are you?

We walk into the house and it’s nicer than a lot of the other houses around here, but that makes sense because it’s a fraternity. All of the Greek houses are nicer than the almost kind of ramshackle houses the students rent. This part of town used to be nice back in the day, but it went downhill when people wanted newer homes and moved. I’ve never been in a fraternity though, so I can’t help but feel a little starstruck as I take in the chandelier over our heads and the winding staircase that makes me think of an old fashioned movie.

“This place is nicer than I thought it would be,” Sunny says and walks through the foyer to the kitchen like she’s seen these kinds of places hundreds of times. The closest I’ve come to this kind of luxury is when I helped my mom clean some of the nicer homes in town. Even then, they weren’t this big. There’s no way this house wasn’t created for parties. Everywhere I look there are people. There’s a massive den area to the left of the staircase that people are playing drinking games in and to the right, there’s a darkened living room where couples dance. Huge glass doors are thrown open at the far end of the foyer we’re in and lead out to what looks like a bonfire.

Sunny taps me and jerks a finger over her shoulder. “Kitchen is this way! That’s where alllll the drinks will be. Come on.”

I follow Sunny through the living room and it’s hard not to feel like there are eyes on me. Mostly because someone points at me and I hear them say, “She came to Jordan’s house!”

What the fuck did they mean this was Jordan’s house? Fear runs through me and I look around for Jordan. I don’t see him anywhere but that doesn’t mean he isn’t coming for me like he promised.

“Sunny,” I say, fully prepared to tell her what I just heard. That we have to get the hell out of here and fast, but then I see her face. She’s smiling and moving with the same carefree energy she had before I ran for my life from Jordan. I can’t tell her that we need to go. If I tell her we need to leave, she’s going to freak out. She’s going to go right back into panic mode and I can’t risk losing her.

“You want shots?” Sunny asks, holding up a bottle of red liquid and a couple of little neon colored plastic shot glasses.

“Oh, I think I’m good,” I tell her and hold up my hands. I angle my body so that I’m against the wall with the doors leading out of the kitchen in front of me. There’s what looks like a backdoor in here, but I’ll hopefully hear that open even with the loud music going.

“You have to have a drink, Nev. It’s a party.”

I’ve never drunk more than the one beer from the last party but I don’t tell Sunny that. I don’t want her to think I am any weirder than she might already. I nod and grab a plastic shot glass while she uncaps the liquid and pours it for us. Maybe a drink would be okay with how scared I am about Jordan. I heard it’s supposed to calm your nerves. I could use a little calmness right now.

“Oh-okay,” I tell Sunny with a quick nod. I lift my glass tentatively as she cheers.

“To an amazing night with my roomie! I love you, Nev!” Sunny yells and holds up her little shot glass in a toast.

“I love you too,” I tell her and clink my cup to hers. We throw back the shots and I wince at how sugary sweet it is. It burns going down my throat and when Sunny brandishes the bottle at me again, my eyes water at the smell of it.

“What the hell is that?” I ask her while I try not to choke.

She shrugs. “I don’t know. It’s good though, right?”

I wipe my mouth with the back of my hand and wince. “I wouldn’t exactly call that good.”

Sunny sticks her tongue out at me and gets to pouring two more shots for us. “Listen, we have like three more of these and you’ll think it’s good. I promise.”

My eyes widen. “Three?”

“At least,” Sunny says without looking up from where she’s pouring shots.

“Sunny, I don’t think I-” I start, because even though it’s one shot, my throat still feels warm and I’m paranoid I won’t make it past the next shot. God, if I’m going to keep an eye out for Jordan, I can’t be getting drunk. There’s no way I’m going to get away from him with three shots in me.

“Hey, you two!” A pair of arms wrap around me and someone lifts me up. “Nev! I missed you.”

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