Page 60 of False Idols

“What?” I whisper and stare up at him.

“I don’t care what everyone says about you. They’re wrong.”

What everyone says.

I’m never going to outrun what I’ve done to Beau and I don’t deserve to either.

“I-I have to go, Dean. I’m sorry.”

Confusion clouds his face and he grabs my wrist when I try to push past him and back to the kitchen. “Nevaeh, what did I do wrong?”

“Nothing. Nothing, I just have to go. I need some air. That’s all,” I lie and Dean immediately tries to follow me again.

“I’ll come with you. It’s not safe.”

“No!” I blurt out and take a deep breath. “I just, I need to be alone,” I tell him and pull my wrist free. Because I don’t know what else to do when Dean shoots me a hurt look, I add, “I’m sorry.” I take off before Dean can reply. When I go towards the kitchen Beau is there blocking my way. He’s leaning in the doorway with his arms crossed over his chest and watching me with another one of his lazy fucking smiles.

“I’m not talking to you,” I say, even though I’m sure he can’t hear me over the music that’s changed again. It sounds like death metal and when I storm off in the opposite direction I have to push past a group of drunk frat guys who are doing their best to headbang to the music as they scream lyrics I can’t understand. It’s music I was never allowed to listen to, but it sounds angry. Right now I’m angry. I’m angry and confused and hurt, but I’m not a bad friend. I pull my phone out and call Sunny.

“Hello!” She screams when she answers the phone. “You good?”

“I-yeah, I just, I need to go home now.”

There’s muffled talking and then Sunny says, “Do you want to get a rideshare or do you want me to come back to walk you?”

There’s something in her voice that makes me hesitant. Normally, Sunny would jump to come with me, but someone else is there if she’s trying to stick around. “I can get a rideshare,” I say quickly as I walk blindly through the party. There’s so many bodies around me and the lights aren’t bright. I think I’m going towards the front door, but I don’t know.

“Oh my gosh, thank you. There’s a cute guy here, Nev. I really like him,” Sunny tells me in a whisper scream.

“I knew it!” I scream and clap. I don’t think I’m drunk, but maybe I am. I feel good, even if I just watched Beau do what he did to his date. God. Why did I watch him do that? Maybe I am drunk.

“Sorry!”

“Don’t be sorry, text me when you’re on your way back.”

“Totally. Text when you’re home.”

I squeeze past a few girls when I see a door ahead. That’s got to be the front door. “You got it. Have fun tonight,” I tease her and Sunny’s cackle sounds before the phone goes dead. I’m smiling down at my phone when a hand grabs my arm and drags me back. Fear cuts through my happiness and sobers me right up. I suck in air to scream, but the sound never makes it past my lips. A hand clamps down on my mouth and muffles my scream, it forces the sound back and makes me swallow it as I struggle to get free. I kick my feet but I’m lifted up off the ground and I feel my body moving back, away from the busy party. I’m in a hallway and then a door slams.

Oh my god. It has to be Jordan.

My heart hammers in my chest so hard that it’s hard to breathe. I struggle harder, kicking and trying to claw the hand at my mouth free. Moonlight pours in through a window behind the man that has me and hides his face.

“You’re safe. It’s me.”

I almost fall to my knees from the relief that sinks into my bones at those words. It’s Beau. He shifts forward to look at me and the pale moonlight shines on his face. We stare at each other for a beat. It’s hard for me to catch my breath, especially with his hand on my mouth. I reach up to pull it away but that’s when I realize what hand he’s using to keep me quiet.

It’s the hand he used to get the other girl off.

I can smell her on his hand. The musky scent of her cum is there. Oh my god. I know he didn’t have time to wash his hands. I scream at him and swing as hard as I can and end up connecting a slap to his face. The crack of my hand on his cheek scares me. I’ve never tried to hit anyone other than Beau. I’ve thought about it, like when I was attacked in the shower, but I’ve never done it until Beau. My palm stings from where I hit him and he laughs. His grip loosens, so I shove his hand off my face and wipe my mouth with the back of my hand.

“I can’t believe you did that.”

“Did what?”

“You know what!”

“There’s a few things to pick from, angel. Are you talking about dragging you back here?” he asks and holds up a finger as he begins to tick off the possibilities of what he’s done to piss me off. “Or are you talking about finger banging that bitch while you watched?” He snaps his fingers at me. “That can’t be it, because you fucking loved watching. Which, I gotta say, I never pegged you as a voyeur. But you know what they say about the ‘good girls’ being the freakiest ones of all.”

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