Page 41 of I see you Beauty

I want to numb the images with alcohol and preferably forget them altogether, although I’m sure they’ve burned themselves into my brain for all eternity. An angry snort escapes me when I think that he’s already over me, while I’ve been tormented by heartache for days, feeling like I’m losing my mind.

“Cora honey, is everything okay?” Kelly asks me as she watches me angrily open the wine.

I try to pull myself together and give her the best smile I can manage.

“Cut the crap and save your fake smile for Thomas,” she reprimands me, giving me a warning look.

Kelly knows me too well. She always knows when something is wrong with me and usually knows what’s going on without me telling her. But in this particular case, she couldn’t possibly understand. The way I’m behaving with Ezra couldn’t be more out of character for me.

I hand her a glass before we head outside into the garden, armed with the bottle, to sit by my beloved pavilion. I can still feel her questioning gaze, demanding I finally speak up.

“Stop it, Kelly. It’s nothing,” I sigh and take a big sip of my wine.

Kelly raises her eyebrow reprovingly and gives my glass an incredulous look because I’ve almost finished it in one sip.

“Mmm…” she says knowingly.

She knows how much I hate it when she does that.

I sigh again and slump back in the wicker chair.

“I just don’t know if this is it. If this is all I have to look forward to in my life,” I confess quietly, not lying, even though I leave out the important details.

“I thought things were better between you and Thomas?” she asks with interest, sipping her wine.

I give her a quick sideways glance before nodding and raising my shoulders uncertainly in the same breath.

“Yes,” I simply reply and empty my glass.

I can’t talk to her about this. I’d make an absolute fool of myself, especially considering what’s happened. It’s the best proof that I meant nothing to Ezra and that he wasn’t serious about me. How could I be so stupid and almost jeopardize my marriage over a young and horny guy? Enough of this! I am officially cured of you, Ezra King!

Tipsy—okay, maybe almost drunk—Kelly and I stagger to the cab I called for her. We’ve had a lovely afternoon, although it’s now late evening. Her nanny has an important appointment, so Kelly has to go home.

“Take care, sweetie. It was nice seeing you again, and I hope you’re back to your old self soon,” she says goodbye to me and kisses my cheek.

“Thank you, Kelly, I needed that,” I confess, smiling back at her. I giggle and push her into the cab before closing the door.

I’m grateful to have a friend like her. Even though she can be a little silly and annoying sometimes, she’s always there for me when I need her, just as she gives me space when I ask for it without resenting me afterward.

“Always at your service, Mrs. Shepherd,” she slurs, saluting out of the window.

I laugh and shake my head in amusement.

“We’ll go out soon, okay? To take your mind off things.”

Nodding, I agree before tapping the cab’s roof twice to indicate to the driver that he can drive before I step back. She waves with a broad and silly grin, which makes me smile, too—crazy girl.

Shaking my head, but with a big grin, I go back into the house and into the garden to tidy up a bit. Thomas texted that he’s staying late at the office today because he has a big case coming up and needs to do some research. So I’ll probably be alone in this big house tonight and, I suspect, for the next few evenings. And usually, I don’t mind, but right now…

If I let them, my thoughts will return to what I saw today. But I don’t want to think about Ezra anymore. I don’t want to feel bad about myself anymore. Damn it!

Instead of cleaning up the half-full bottle and going inside, I and empty it. It doesn’t matter now.

To silence my thoughts and relax, I lean back in my wicker chair and briefly close my eyes. But unexpectedly, I hear a rustling and immediately straighten when I see him stepping out of the shadows.

“What are you doing here? Don’t you have a visitor?” I sneer at Ezra, knowing how ridiculous I sound. Especially since the words came out of my mouth slurred.

But I can't shake the biting feeling that’s been gnawing at my chest since I saw him with that terribly attractive young blonde.

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