Page 80 of I see you Beauty

Chapter Fifty-Five

“So, how are things with your hot neighbor?” mumbles Kelly as we stand her kitchen preparing dishes and sauces to take to the backyard.

I was trying to avoid the subject and instead talked her ear off about how proud I am of June and the new path she wants to take. I guess it didn’t work…

“Shh!” I hiss at her and glance to see if Thomas or June are nearby.

Kelly has invited us over for a barbecue today to introduce yet another new guy, who’s set to undergo the test of surviving a day with her kids and friends. It likely won’t last, as usual. She’ll eventually show him the door, frustrated when she realizes he’s either after her money or just wants to get her into bed. Kelly is an incredibly attractive woman for her age and has never had trouble finding a boyfriend. But somehow, she can’t keep one.

“Don’t worry. I made sure we’re alone before I asked about your secret affair with your handsome young neighbor,” Kelly teases me with a laugh, albeit in a lowered voice.

I give her a bitter look because I don’t find it funny. At least not when my husband and daughter are within earshot. Kelly looks at me urgently and expectantly as if she’s about to burst with curiosity. Sighing, I expel the air and lean against the kitchen counter.

“He had dinner with us the day before yesterday,” I explain meekly, avoiding her gaze because I know what she’s about to say.

“He… what? Cora!” she is outraged at me because I didn’t tell her sooner.

But what was I supposed to say? That my daughter has her eye on the same guy I’m having an affair with? That he got me so hot all evening that I just wanted him to take me, no matter where? Or even worse? That I was jealous of my daughter being alone with him in his house instead of worrying like a good mother. Oh, and there’s the little side note that my husband let his violent asshole side out and forbade me to see my lover—which he doesn’t even know about—again? Plus, the involuntary orgasm withdrawal because I just can’t finish… Could life be any more chaotic?

“So tell me! How did it come to this? What happened? And what now? Cora, damn it, don’t leave me hanging like this!” she whines but tries to keep her voice low.

I look around again to be safe before I lean toward her so that this conversation stays between us.

“He surprised me in the kitchen when I was cooking dinner after gardening. We… he… lay me over the kitchen counter…” I leave it unsaid and give her a meaningful look. “June came in when we…,” I follow up, realizing how my cheeks glow when I think about how damn good it felt the way Ezra took me there, bent over the counter.

“She caught you?” Kelly asks heatedly, looking at me with wide eyes.

I quickly shake my head and continue in a lowered voice.

“No. We just barely avoided it. But that’s how she met him and… Kelly, she likes him,” I blurt out, completely exasperated.

I run my fingers through my curls and look out into the backyard at the children playing and the men talking. I know these thoughts are wrong, but I don’t want Ezra to look at my daughter or pay attention to her. Unfortunately, for all the wrong reasons…

“That sucks,” Kelly comments dryly, which makes me laugh mirthlessly and turn my gaze back to her before nodding dejectedly.

“Yeah, it sucks. Especially because I shouldn’t feel like this, none of this should be happening. Damn it, Kelly! What was I thinking?” I grumble at myself and want to burst into tears, but that wouldn’t be helpful.

“Oh, sweetie! You were just thinking about yourself for once. And you don’t need to feel guilty about it now. Ezra likes you, doesn’t he? He’s interested in you and not in June, or am I wrong?” Kelly asks.

“But isn’t that sick? I’m… I’m competing with my daughter for a guy I shouldn’t be interested in? This… this can’t happen,” I say, pulling my hair.

“June isn’t in love with him, but understandably, finds him interesting. He’s just different from the little boys she knows from college. You’re not a bad mother just because you’re thinking of yourself once, Cora. It’s not like you’re going to steal her boyfriend or anything. And… yes, I know you don’t want to hear this now, but… your marriage is over, sweetheart. You’re still trying to convince yourself that it’s not, but you know it is. And please don’t lie to me now because, unfortunately, I know far too well what happens behind closed doors. I know he hits you, and yes, I hate him for it!” she spits out angrily but pats the back of my hand encouragingly.

Snorting, I snatch my hand from her and push myself away from the kitchen counter to cross my arms in front of my chest and look out of the window again. I gaze at Thomas and how he’s talking to Kelly’s new boyfriend.

“And your advice to me now is to run off with the young neighbor and end my marriage?” I ask snidely, without looking at her, avoiding her suggestion.

I can’t have this conversation with her now because I know I should leave Thomas for the way he is and the fact that he beats me. After all, I advised her to do precisely the same with her first husband. Still, it’s not that easy for me. This is not only because of June’s studies but also because of her new plans. Only Thomas can fulfill them for her. I would never forgive myself if I jeopardized my daughter’s future by leaving her father. I prefer to ignore all that and concentrate on other things.

“No. Don’t feel guilty just because you’re doing what your husband has been doing for years and with dozens of young women. Who says he’s faithful now, huh? Have you had sex lately? Has he tried? Then he’ll hit you again, like he used to when he was unfaithful so often,” she mocks, unfortunately hitting the bull’s eye.

“No, we didn’t, because… he couldn’t. I stood naked in front of him and wanted him to take me on the dining table, and he…” Sighing, I turn to her and can’t stop the tears from welling up in my eyes. “Am I no longer enough for him? Have I become so unattractive to him that he doesn’t want me anymore and, therefore, falls back into old patterns? Does he hate me so much that he thinks I deserve to be beaten?” I burst out and start sobbing, but I quickly put my hands to my face to somehow block out the tears and the noise.

“Oh, sweetie.”

Kelly hurriedly takes me in her arms and hugs me tightly. I allow it and snuggle up to her shoulder, crying myself dry because I can’t hold back all the tears now.

“Come on. We’re going upstairs,” Kelly murmurs in a calm voice and pushes me up the stairs so that I can calm down in private. No one can see me like this.

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