Page 92 of I see you Beauty

“I have to go! Now! My husband is at Kelly’s waiting for me!” I rattle off the information before jumping out of the car to sit in the front passenger seat. “Ezra!” I yell hysterically when he makes no move and is still sitting in the back seat with his pants open.

“You’re seriously going to drive to him now? Fuck that asshole! He hit you! He doesn’t deserve you!” Ezra spits angrily, still not moving.

“Ezra! I don’t have time for this now! We have to get back. Now! You said you wouldn’t push me! But I’m certainly not going to end my marriage like this. June is at home and… and…” I’m getting more panicked with every word until my breath is choking me off, and I’m frantically clutching my throat, trying not to freak out.

“Fuck!” Ezra growls before getting out, slamming the door violently, and quickly entering the front. “Buckle up!” he snaps at me before starting the engine and speeding out of the parking lot.

I quickly grab my bag from the back before fastening my seatbelt. My breathing is still frantic, as I feel like I’m suffocating. My husband is with Kelly, and he will kill me if he sees me like this. How am I supposed to get to him on time without him seeing through it? My head spins again, and my breathing gets faster and more frantic.

“Calm down! I’ll get you back in time, and he won’t notice,” his gentle yet pressed voice snaps me out of my breathlessness.

His hand rests on my thigh, and his touch is enough to loosen the tight knot that has wrapped around my lungs and allows me to breathe more freely again. I suck the air deeply into my atrophied lungs and try to calm myself down.

“Are you okay?”

I nod weakly and look at him. Ezra’s features are hard, and I can tell by the look on his face how much he doesn’t like taking me back to my husband now. And yet he does it because I asked him to. He does it because he respects me and does not want to end my marriage like this. But the fact is: I will end it—for Ezra. For us.

“I will leave him. But not like this. Not when I’ve just cheated on him. That’s not fair to him, no matter what he’s done. That’s just not me. Please don’t make me a person I don’t want to be.”

I look at him and put my hand on his, which he has resting on my thigh. His gaze wanders briefly to me, and he can’t help but smile subtly and honestly. Ezra intertwines our fingers and brings my hand to his mouth to kiss the back of my hand. However, his smile and joy that I want to leave Thomas don’t last long. His features become serious again.

“Okay. You end your marriage your way. I’ll stay out of it and do what you want me to do. I’ll do anything for you, baby! But… if he touches you again, I’ll kill him!” Ezra replies in such a dark and ominous voice that I flinch, having never heard him speak like that before.

He presses another gentle kiss to the back of my hand before placing our intertwined hands in my lap and concentrating on the road again. Ezra steps on the gas a little more to make sure we make it on time without my husband getting suspicious. Although apparently, he already is, otherwise he wouldn’t have tried finding me at Kelly’s. I go through all sorts of excuses in my head as to why I’ve taken so long and make note of a few just in case.

During the drive, I touch up my makeup and fix my hair, trying to tame the wild look that clearly reveals what I’ve been up to all evening.

Ezra doesn’t say another word during the drive, and since I didn’t know what to say to not make it worse, I keep quiet, too.

Kelly keeps sending panicked messages asking where I am, making me increasingly nervous. But when Ezra finally pulls up on the side of the road outside his club so I can let him out and drive to Kelly’s myself, I breathe a little easier. I just have to buy a quick bottle of wine, and then I’ll be at Kelly’s in no time.

“Wait here. I have two bottles of wine inside. I… bought them in case… I bought them for us,” Ezra stops explaining, exits my car, and runs to his club.

When he returns, I have already taken my seat behind the wheel and rolled down the window so that he can hand me the bottles and I can say goodbye to him. He hands me the wine and gently kisses me on the cheek. I can tell he’s still upset, which I can understand, but I don’t have time for that now.

“I’ll call you as soon as things have calmed down a bit at my place, okay?”

His jaw tightens and his expression darkens, but he nods solemnly and steps back so I can drive off. I want to say something to make it right, but I know that no matter what I say, it won't make things better or any easier. So I leave it at that, close my window, and drive off.

I take another quick look in the rearview mirror, only to see Ezra step onto the road, staring after me. My chest hurts because I don’t want to see him standing there like that. I don’t want to treat him like this, leaving him behind. But at this moment, unfortunately, I have no other choice. So, I try to organize my thoughts and concentrate on the upcoming conversation with my husband.

Chapter Sixty-One

Why are you doing this to me?

Idon’t know how long I stood in the street looking after you. Beauty, I can’t tell you how angry I am. My insides tighten up painfully because I had to pull myself together so much around you.

But when I saw you flinch, and it was because of me and my impulsive nature, it immediately grounded me. I can’t be around you like this. You must never see my dark side. You’ve already been through enough, and just thinking about him beating you for years makes me want to burn the entire world down; it makes me so angry.

“FUCK!” I yell, clutching my head to silence the angry voices inside.

The darkness inside me demands revenge for you, and I would kill your husband in a heartbeat if you asked me to. But you are too good, too pure. You’ve just proved that to me once again. That’s why I have to get better, so I can deserve you at all.

Still, I can’t handle the loud voices and their anger, which becomes mine. It all overwhelms me. That's why I storm into my club, crank the music up to full volume, strip off my shirt, shoes, and socks, and head straight to the back corner where my punching bag hangs. I need to blow off steam before I end up doing something I'll regret. Maybe I shouldn’t even go home today, because I know you will argue and I will want to kill him. I want to snap his neck like a thin twig if he scares you.

My bare fists hit the cold leather harder and harder. I haven’t even bothered to bandage my hands. I’m too angry. I am too upset and need this now. The pain. My pain, to distract myself somehow. Fuck, Beauty!

I should be completely euphoric now that you’ve told me you want to leave him for me. For us! Us. This little word lifts the veil of anger and lets me see more clearly again. You want me. You love me… You will be mine. Mine alone! Forever mine…

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