Page 46 of The Billionaire's Masquerade Ball

“It’s fine,” she said, wishing he would take her hand again. Instead, he clasped his hands in his lap. “I thought I’d be working with my dad for years, maybe taking over once he retired. Instead, he died and now I have … this.”

She spread her hands out, gesturing to herself and to the small apartment. This wasn’t the first time the vast hole of her life now opened up before her, threatening to swallow her into its emptiness. For a few months after her dad died, she went on antidepressants. They helped take the edge off, but also made her life feel colorless and stale. As soon as she felt like she could function at somewhat of a normal level again, she weaned herself off of them. The orange bottle still sat in the medicine cabinet, just in case.

Cynder didn’t want to cry in front of Xander. Not again. She didn’t want his pity. She wished that she was better at controlling or at least hiding her emotions. But she just wasn’t that person.

“Cynder, I’m really sorry about all that you’ve been through the past year. I know that loss is hard and grief stays with you. Your situation is also more complicated than most.”

Sniffing, Cynder pulled a napkin out of the Chinese food bag to blow her nose. She had forgotten all about ordering lunch. A waft of the scent came out of the bag and her stomach growled loudly enough that the firm line of Xander’s mouth lifted in a smile.

“You going to eat that? Don’t let me stop you.”

“I just ordered for one. Seems rude to eat it now.”

“I’ve got another option. Stick that in the fridge. Get dressed and I’ll get us all food on the way back to the office.”

Cynder only hesitated because she felt like she needed to. The pit in her stomach and the rapidly beating heart in her chest were both telling her to say yes.

“Did someone say food?” Wyatt said, coming through the front door.

Cynder had forgotten he had walked Lucy down. He had been gone way too long. Lucy would have some questions to answer later. Or maybe Wyatt was just trying to give her time alone with Xander. Cynder gave him a dirty look. He gave her a brilliant smile.

“Depends on Cynder. What do you say? Food on the way to the office? If you’ve forgiven me, that is.” Xander’s look was the only plea she needed.

“Yes.”

“I’ll put this in your fridge,” Wyatt said, picking up the bag from the table.

As she stood, Xander reached for her arm, taking her by the elbow. Cynder stilled and met his eyes again. They held the same tender sorrow they had Saturday when he talked to her about this same thing, when she was hidden behind a mask.

“I’m sorry, Cynder. Sorry you lost your father. Sorry you lost your dream. And I’m really sorry that I had any hand in you losing your position there. It must feel so much bigger than losing your job.”

“Thank you,” she said.

Silence stretched out for a moment. It felt like they had dived too deep, too fast and Cynder didn’t know where to go from there.

“I want to help,” Xander said. “I hope you’ll let me know if I can.”

Wyatt returned from the kitchen and glanced around the apartment for the first time. “Why don’t you guys have any Christmas stuff up? Do you not celebrate?”

Cynder thought about lying and saying that they were busy. The truth was that she had been struggling with the idea of celebrating without her father there. Lucy, ever the amazing friend, had said they could forgo the normal holiday things. Cynder knew this was a huge sacrifice, as Lucy loved decorating. Her boss let her do the windows in the store, so she had told Cynder not to worry about it. But their apartment did look drab and cheerless.

Lucy had already invited her to celebrate with her family, but Cynder was trying to find something else she could do on Christmas day to distract her. She loved Lucy’s family, but knew she would be an emotional wreck. She just wanted to pretend like the holiday wasn’t happening this year.

“I just wasn’t in the mood this year,” she said. “And I was busy.”

Wyatt looked confused, but Cynder caught a look of compassion in Xander’s eyes. He knew what it was like. “Wyatt, while we’re waiting for Cynder to get dressed, I’ve got a few things I need you to do. Can you pull up the Valdez account on your phone?”

Xander winked at Cynder and she gave him a grateful smile before she disappeared down the hallway to get ready. She was completely confused about what to expect from Xander and how she should be responding. One thing that was completely clear: she continued to fall for him. Hard.

---