Page 61 of The Billionaire's Secret Heir

This car ride felt like déjà vu. Beckett kept glancing over at Madi, wishing he could cut through the silence in the car. She wasn’t as far away, as his Mercedes was smaller than Graham’s minivan. Part of the tension was probably the fact that they were all in a car again after the accident. For her part, Becka didn’t have any problem getting in the car seat once Madi installed it. Beckett had felt his heart swell getting to hold her while Madi buckled it in. Seeing the bandage on Becka’s leg made Beckett’s stomach turn. He hated the thought of her hurt and the memories of her screams in the car. Madi had said once that Becka was resilient and now he saw it. Even as she yawned in his arms, she was moving, smiling, touching his face and talking.

“It hospital.”

“Yes, we’re at the hospital. I heard you were very brave.” Beckett had taken to talking to her the same way Madi did, like Becka could understand it all.

Dear God, I can’t imagine not talking to this little girl, not getting to have her in my life.

Beckett’s worry was more like panic, sending constant painful thoughts ricocheting around his head. Madi didn’t have to let Beckett see Madi again. If she broke up with him because he didn’t tell her the truth, if she found a job and a new place to live, if she left him, Beckett would lose everything that mattered to him.

He couldn’t think of it. He couldn’t stop thinking of it.

The silence between them was charged with the conversation that she refused to have. She knew about his father’s requirements to have an heir and one of the nurses had told him that Madi knew Beckett wasn’t Becka’s father.

“Are you okay? Being in the car?”

Madi turned toward him, but Beckett kept his eyes on the road. “It feels a lot like it did the other night. I think I’m okay, but I might just be too overwhelmed to feel anything else.”

“You’ve been through a lot.”

That was a stupid observation. She made a small noise that sounded like a snort. It was so hard to read her mood. Maybe because she was feeling so many different things at one time. He could imagine them, but wished that she would say them. Just two days ago—had it only been two days?—they had sat on the couch in the guest house, arms around each other. With her cheek pressed to his chest, she had told him stories of her family from when she was growing up. She spoke of their Christmas traditions and how one of her parents would write letters to her and Calista from Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny, the Tooth Fairy.

“I knew it was them,” she had said. “But it was only when I got older that I realized that my mom had written the notes left-handed. That was the part I couldn’t figure out.”

She had shared that tiny detail with him, but now her thoughts and feelings were locked inside a vault. Beckett was not good at relationships. He didn’t know the first thing about opening locked doors or how to press his ear to it, listening as he twirled the knob for the right combination. Beckett tried to think about this in terms of business. He was so good there. If this was a complex merger or some kind of trade deal with a thousand issues, he would have had them all solved in exactly the way that benefitted him. It would have been dealt with yesterday. Feeling this powerless was new to him and made him feel like he was messing things up even more.

She had not said another word to him by the time he pulled up in front of the guest house. He got out, but she was already at Becka’s door. Becka was asleep. Madi looked up at Beckett, but more like over his shoulder, not meeting his eyes.

“I’m going to try to transfer her to the crib. She’s exhausted. We both are.”

“Okay. Do you need anything else?”

“I need space, Beckett.” The word “space” felt final, like a breakup. It sent a lash of pain through his gut. Her next words, though, were worse.

“With what we both know now, it’s not like you need to be close to me or Becka. We should both take some time to consider that.”

Did she really not know him at all? Did she think so little of his feelings for both of them? “You think learning that Becka isn’t mine changed anything for me?”

“I don’t see how it couldn’t. I just need time to think. We both need time. Please respect that.”

Beckett stood back, letting Madi open the door and gently unbuckle Becka, pulling the child close to her shoulder. Was there anything more beautiful than Becka’s sleeping face nuzzled against Madi’s neck? He loved both of them and giving Madi the space she asked for felt like the exact wrong thing. He wanted to put his arms around her right now, pulling them both close. He wanted to chase her down, to make her listen, to convince her that his feelings for them had nothing to do with business and had not changed because Becka wasn’t his biological daughter.

Instead, he stood in the driveway, watching Madi and Becka disappear inside the guest house. It’s what she wanted, but it felt so wrong. When he and Ava had broken off their engagement, Beckett had felt only relief, as though his true feelings were only revealed in that moment. He had realized before now that he loved Madi, but letting her push him away only revealed how much.

He would give her space, but Beckett vowed that he would not let her go without fighting for her heart.

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