Page 60 of The Sandover Beach Billionaire

Chapter Nineteen

Jackson was wadingthrough bills and statements at his desk in the office at Bohn’s. It was after hours. He usually didn’t stay late unless there was a serious need. Which, today, there was.

He had gotten another offer to sell. A lower one than the last, but still high enough to make sense. From a business standpoint, it would be stupid not to take it. Despite the success of the Bohn’s Local initiative they had launched almost a month ago, sales barely picked up. The store seemed more crowded, but not enough to make a dent. The store was still profitable, but the margin continued to shrink. The thought of selling and letting Bohn’s become a chain killed him.

Not yet. He wasn’t ready to let go yet. It was probably inevitable, but he could keep the store running—for now.

“Knock knock.” Mercer stood in the doorway.

Jackson quickly swept the papers into a manila folder, and then stuffed it in a drawer. Way to hide that, Captain obvious. Mercer’s eyes were on the desk where he had put the folder. He cleared his throat.

“Hey. I didn’t realize you were still here.”

“Just finishing up a few things.” She leaned in the doorway and crossed her arms. “You know, you don’t have to hide that stuff from me. I have a pretty good idea about how things are going with the store. Bohn’s Local wasn’t the magic bullet we hoped it would be.”

It was a statement, not a question. He sighed. “It’s a brilliant campaign. Definitely made an impact.”

“Just not enough?”

“I wish. Anyway, I got another offer to sell. One that seems stupid not to take.”

“But you don’t want to take it,” Mercer said.

“I don’t. This is so much more than a store to me. It’s the legacy of the On Island community. One of the last strongholds of the changing island. It gives jobs to many local people. It’s also home to me in a lot of ways. I’m keeping it for emotional reasons, not business ones. For now, anyway.”

Mercer nodded and gave him a pointed look. “For what it’s worth, sometimes we should do the stupid thing that’s more difficult.”

She wasn’t just talking about the store and it wasn’t the first time she had tried to push him about Jenna. Jackson ran a hand over his jaw. He needed to shave. His stubble had turned into a half-beard. Not a good look on him, but more and more in the past few weeks, he just hadn’t cared. It started the moment he drove away after losing his control and punching Beau. He spent the next few days holed up in his house, too ashamed of his own behavior to talk to anyone.

Beau and Jimmy finally showed up to practically drag him out of bed and back to daily life. “Stop running,” Beau had told him. “Whatever you’re struggling with, you’ve got to hit it head on.”

“I feel too broken to fix,” Jackson had told him.

When Beau had told him that he was being prideful, Jackson had scoffed. Until Beau explained. “Think about it: you saying that you aren’t fixable is a different kind of pride. Pride is making you big and God small. If you’re saying you are too broken to fix, it’s a backwards kind of pride. You think your brokenness is bigger than God’s ability to help you.”

It made a weird kind of sense and finally got him out of the house. But Jackson was still wallowing. Not only in self-pity, but in thoughts that he knew were self-destructive. He didn’t deserve happiness or someone like Jenna. He couldn’t trust himself to care for someone because of his anger. He wasn’t worth it. She deserved better than a man who assumed the worst and flew into a rage, punching his best friend in the face.

He felt like letting her go was the best thing for Jenna. But was Beau right—was pride the thing that kept him from talking to her?

They’d talked, of course, just not about what happened. He couldn’t seem to avoid her. She shopped in the store. She went to his church now and had joined their Sunday school class, sitting by Mercer. The conversations Jackson had with her were polite and sanitized, as though they’d never had a relationship at all. They said hello. He asked how she was doing. She said fine. They smiled and walked away.

She wanted to pretend they were casual friends? Fine. He could pretend.

It was torture. He wanted nothing more than to wrap her up in his arms and beg her forgiveness. Jackson was desperate to make things right between them. He didn’t feel like he deserved her, but he loved her nonetheless. That’s right—love.

If he’d had a question before, he was sure now: he loved Jenna. Completely. Fully. Foolishly.

Too late. Or, maybe it was exactly the right time. If he had realized it before and told her, maybe it would have been harder to let her go.

He had even more reason to keep his distance. Megan had asked Jackson if she could live with him full-time. Kim didn’t fight it, though they’d had a lot of long and unpleasant conversations with each other and with lawyers. Megan would move in at the start of summer.

Would Jenna really want a relationship with him when he came with a prickly pre-teen? It was one thing when Megan was just around some weekends. Living with him would mean being a full-time parent. He didn’t even know how that would work or if he could do it. Jenna was starting her life fresh. There was no way she would want to be an instant parent to Megan.

Jackson had thought it all through, again and again. This was the best decision for Jenna. That’s what love did, right? It put the other person first.

And yet … Jackson was miserable. When he saw Jenna, she didn’t seem happy either.

Jackson leaned forward at his desk, but did not meet Mercer’s eyes. “How do you know when it’s time to do the stupid thing and when it’s time to do the smart one?”

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