I don’t even know how to handle that.

Instead, I focus on talking to the nurse as she takes me back into a room and asks me questions. I don’t give her the details of what actually happened, even though I want to. But I worry that the society will find out and come after me again.

So, I lie and say I fell and hit my head. The nurse assesses me skeptically, like she can tell I’m lying. That’s a new one. Usually, I’m much better at lying, but I’m also tired.

She takes my vitals, and I’m relieved when she informs me everything appears to be good on that part. Then she leaves me alone to wait for the doctor to come in. It takes a bit, but the doctor eventually enters. She examines me, asks a series of questions, and then gives me some annoying news.

“You show signs of having a concussion, so you’ll need to take it easy for a handful of days.” She slips off her gloves and tosses them into the trash. “I’ll email you some follow-up instructions, and I’d like to see you again in three to four days.”

Great, my training is going to get screwed up.

“Does that include not running?” I ask, although I’m pretty certain I already know the answer.

She gives me a tolerant look. “Yes, that includes running.” She taps a few keys on the computer screen. “It’s important that you don’t do anything to risk getting another injury, as well.” She glances over the screen. “How did you say you fell?”

“I never said.” I pick at my fingernails. “I was doing exercises on the bleachers.”

She glances at me with wariness in her eyes. “Are you sure that’s what happened?”

What the heck is with the accusatory questions?

“Yes.” That’s all I offer.

I hate this.

I hate being afraid.

Will there ever be a time in my life where I won’t be?

Maddison

Like he said, River is still waiting for me when I walk out.

When I was younger, my mother would tell me she’d wait for me when I did things like run to use the restroom at a store, went to school orientation, or ran into the store for her. She never did. So, even though River has been nice to me, surprise trickles through me at the sight of him.

When he spots me, he rises and crosses the empty waiting room. “How did it go?” he asks worriedly.

“I’m fine,” I tell him. “Well, except I have a concussion.”

His eyes widen. “What?”

I shrug. “It’s fine. I’m fine. I just need to rest.”

“Please don’t downplay it,” he says, tucking a strand of hair behind my ear.

I grimace. “I’m just worried about my training. I already missed today, and the doctor wants me to rest for three to four days. I’m never going to get on the team. And yes, I know, it’s probably the last thing I need to worry about, but it’s important to me.”

“Hey, I get it,” he assures me while taking my hand. “But it’ll be fine. I’ll do some research, and we’ll figure out a way to catch you up. But you need to rest. It’s always important to do that whenever you injure yourself.”

“I know.” Doesn’t mean I’m happy about it.

We start toward the door, and then step into the sunlight. The sky is nearly cloudless, as if making up for the rainstorm of hell that it created last night. The wind is light and airy, and the air smells like lilacs. It’s a nice day, and yet, my chest feels heavy with darkness.

“Will you come to my dorm with me?” River asks as we cross the campus yard, walking underneath the shade of the trees, the leaves fluttering against the breeze. “So we can talk?”

“Sure. I can’t even get into my dorm, anyway.” I swing around a small statue of a crown—the academy is all about its statues.

River’s brows furrow as he glances at me. “Why not?”