Page 14 of Some Things Never Change

“Until you start kicking.”

I snorted. “I’ve stopped doing that a long time ago. Anyways, time to get out of bed, pretty boy.”

We stumbled down the stairs for my last dinner with Lily. Although I was sad I would be leaving a great roommate like her behind, we both knew it was for the best. I was becoming miserable here in San Ignacio, not because I hated everything here, but because things never seemed to work out for me.

The only friend I had here now was Lily. All of my close friends had already moved to other cities and states while I was the only one left here now. Making friends as an adult was hardly as easy as it seemed. I even tried new hobbies and attended many meetups and social events to find new friends to no avail.

It didn’t help that my love life was also a bust. When I find a guy who was cute and decent enough worth settling for, there was always something that didn’t work out between us. He either didn’t want long-term commitment or his career would always come before me or I “demanded too much,” according to another ex.

I no longer enjoyed working at the large interior design firm I was at. The recent switch in management at my company caused my colleagues to leave due to unfavorable, dramatic changes. As the ever-loyal worker, I have been helping my manager run around the city with too many projects on my plate for over a year now. I did all this without a proper raise or a bonus, either.

Here, in San Ignacio, I was lonely and overworked. I tried so desperately to make this city my home through constant compromises with my relationships and my job. But nothing ever seemed to work. So, I stopped trying and finally decided this city wasn’t built for me. I couldn’t force myself to fit where I never belonged, no matter how much I tried.

I tightly hugged Lily back as we stood on her doorstep for one last time. Andy was already in the car, waiting for me. When I pulled away, Lily was wearing a wide grin with bright and excited eyes.

“I’m going to miss you so much, but I know you’ll be much happier in Santa Mariana,” she said. She quickly glanced at my car and then back at me. She had been doing that all night—glancing between Andy and me. “Seems like you’re going to have lots of fun there, too.”

I continued to hold my smile even as my brows creased. “What are you trying to imply?”

Lily shook her head. “Nothing.”

My smile broke, and I narrowed my eyes at her. “Andy’s my childhood friend and nothing more.”

“All I’m insinuating is that you’ll be well taken care of. You’re in good hands, Julie. Andy seems to care a lot about you.” Lily smiled, rather, innocently.

“He does.”

“Maybe I’ll come see you and my dear cousin, Cindy, once you’ve settled down in Santa Mariana. You should invite your cousin too when I’m there and we can all go bar hopping.”

“Sounds like a good idea. Just let me know when,” I said.

We bid our goodbyes, and Andy and I were off. We agreed we’d switch halfway, so neither of us would get too tired from driving. As I sat in the driver’s seat, I caught glimpses of the city as I zoomed through.

As we drove out of San Ignacio and across the bridge into the smaller suburban cities on the other side of the bay, part of me still felt nostalgic, but most of me was excited now. I was finally leaving. This season of my life was ending and a new one was about to begin.

Andy was quiet, letting me bathe in my emotions as he watched the city lights pass us by. The one thing I loved the most about my relationship with Andy was the silence we would have from time to time. This silence that sometimes hangs between us has always been soothing and warm, like a cup of freshly brewed tea. His presence always comforted me even in his stillness.

“Are you going to miss this place?” Andy’s voice was soft, but curious.

“Yeah, but I’ve been ready for a change for a long time now. I felt like I’ve overspent my time here.”

“To be honest, I’m actually surprised you’re leaving this place.”

“Really? Why would you say that?”

“Don’t know. It just seemed like you’d be here forever. I knew you weren’t entirely happy. But you seemed content, at least. You had a good career here and were with good guys, with the exception of David. And it seemed like you’d settle down and start a family here.”

“Things are always subject to change, Andy. I used to think I’d live here forever too, even though I’ve never felt this was ever home.”

“How so?”

“I don’t know how to explain it. I never felt like this city was a place I could ever live and relax properly in. I don’t know what it is. Maybe it’s the way everyone always seems so intelligent and brainy here since it’s the central hub for the tech industry.”

I let out a shaky breath. This was the first time I have ever admitted out loud how out of place I have felt living in San Ignacio. In a way, it hurt to have to say the truth when this was somewhere I truly wanted to fit in but couldn’t.

“Or maybe it’s the cold and mild climate that I never really enjoyed. It’s lots of things, and I tried to make it my home for years. I tried dating whatever mediocre prospects that came my way. I’ve even dedicated my life to a huge interior design firm here, only to be denied a promotion because I apparently didn’t work hard enough to deserve it. I tried so hard, and this city just never felt like it was home. She never welcomed me, even though I fell in love with her the moment I arrived at her doorstep.”

A thoughtful silence sat between us as I watched the lights and everything I have grown to know pass us by.

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