Page 68 of Some Things Never Change

It always hurt me to hear how Jonathan internalized what happened around that time. He was the youngest of us and, because of that, the most vulnerable. For the longest time afterwards, he never slept alone. For sleepovers at the Hughes’, he would sleep with Anthony most of the time and sometimes with Andy and I. When we were home, he would sleep together with me or our mom. He didn’t sleep alone until he was in eighth grade.

“It’s hard being that young and losing a parent. I knew what death was, but I also didn’t fully understand it,” he continued. “All I knew was that my dad wasn’t here anymore and that on its own was already tough enough.”

Anthony reached over and gave Jonathan’s shoulder a quick squeeze just as Andy placed his hand in mine, giving it a reassuring squeeze as well.

“I hope our family was at least able to be there for you all to make the world less of a scary place,” said Andy. His thumb brushed over my knuckles just lightly enough to send goosebumps all over my body as he continued to keep our hands intertwined.

In the rearview mirror, I could see Jonathan smiling. “It was easier because of you two and your parents. Thank you for everything you guys have done for us.”

Anthony let out a chuckle. “You’re welcome, kid,” he said. “When did you become so thoughtful, huh? Weren’t you just a spoiled brat just this morning?”

Jonathan half scoffed, half laughed. “I wasn’t spoiled!”

“Yes, you were!” said Andy, Anthony, and I in unison.

We all laughed as the conversation shifted to more lighthearted topics. Despite the weight of my dad being gone for twenty years still lingering in the air, we couldn't help but laugh and reminisce about old times. Anthony shared a funny story about exactly how spoiled Jonathan was.

He mentioned the amazing tenth birthday party Jonathan had at Disneyland, since our parents never hesitated to spoil him. None of us got the same treatment without having to beg. Andy was quick to list some of the best Christmas presents from our parents, and they were all Jonathan’s. I chimed in, reminiscing about how my dad used to always come home with a new Hot Wheels toy for him. But I would get a snack sized bag of chips.

“That’s not fair, Julie. You know you were his favorite! Dad used to always catch a grasshopper and put it in a little cage for you all summer long!” retorted Jonathan, getting flustered. “He never caught one for me, ever! Because we’d always have to share, but you never shared.”

I laughed. “Sure, I got the grasshopper, but I never got McDonald’s the way we did whenever we were with the twins. Remember how Dad would always lie that he needed to go to the store for something, but he actually took us to McDonald’s to get Happy Meals instead?”

The twins let out a shared snicker. “You know, there were a lot of times your dad would take us there without you two,” casually mentioned Anthony.

“What?” Jonathan and I asked in unison.

“Yeah,” laughed Andy. “Guess we were actually your dad’s favorite, huh?”

I turned to Andy, feeling utterly betrayed. His wide grin tipped into a playful smirk as he cocked an eyebrow at me.

“No,” I retorted, scoffing. “It was me.”

“Did your dad ever take you two to McDonald’s or Blockbuster without us then?” asked Anthony.

When my dad snuck us all off to McDonald’s, he’d also let us stop by the nearest Blockbuster to pick out the newest children’s movie. But that was only if the twins were visiting us. It was as if he favored them more than Jonathan and me.

“No,” I mumbled.

“That’s what I thought,” laughed Anthony as he craned his neck to look at his older brother. Andy quickly let go of my hand before Anthony could see. “Andy, we were Uncle Cha’s favorite kids.”

Between the front seats, Anthony pulled out his fist for a fist bump with his older brother. Andy laughed, and I shook my head as the two of them fist bumped.

I smiled at them. It was comforting to be surrounded by family at a time like this, and I was grateful for their presence. But despite the laughter and love, my mind couldn't help but drift back to Andy's words to my dad at the cemetery. He wanted to spend the rest of his life with me and I wanted to do the same. Like him, I honestly wouldn’t want this life any other way. My only regret was how I didn’t tell him the truth about my feelings sooner.

As the guys let out laughs about something Anthony said, Andy turned to me with a gentle smile. His hand lightly brushed up against mine, which rested on the middle car seat between us again. His pretty eyes were twinkling brightly. I almost reached over to take hold of his face so I could see them up close. But I held myself back. Instead, I stared back, and we watched each other the whole ride home.

Chapter

Twenty-Nine

“You two alright?” Andy asked his parents as we all got out of the car.

We all left the cemetery and arrived home at the same time. But, unlike the four of us who came tumbling out of the car with big smiles and reminiscing about the past, our parents were more somber. Uncle Gary cleared his throat and Auntie Gao gave us a gentle smile.

“Jonathan and Julie, your mom said that you two wanted to talk to us?” asked Auntie Gao.

As Andy and Anthony threw curious glances at us two, we nodded our heads. My mom gave the twins a soft smile with watery eyes. I glanced over at Andy as his parents led all of us inside. It was quiet as we sat down in the living room, facing each other. I smiled into my uncle and aunt’s red and teary eyes.

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