Page 1 of Size Doesn't Matter

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THE LIBRARIAN

He walked in with all too much confidence for a man of his stature – and a human, no less. I’d helped dozens of different monsters before, all with their unique quirks and characteristics, but the humans I met numbered in the hundreds. Humans always exceeded the proportion of monster clients. This one was nothing special, but that didn’t matter as long as his soulmate was already in the pages of my book of matchmaking.

He stepped up to the counter and extended a hand. “Hi, I’m Nico,” he said. “Nico Ross.”

His nails were short but neatly manicured and painted with a light brown polish that shined brilliantly in the warm library lights. His hair, dark and straight, was slicked back with too much product and his eyes were a soft, warm brown.

I took his hand, which was soft and gentle, and gave it a shake. “Hello, Mr. Ross. What brings you into the library on this fine spring day?”

“I want to use your matchmaking service.”

“Ah, yes. Let me guess, you would like to be paired with a monster?”

Nico smiled. “Of course. Who doesn’t want to?”

“Oh, they exist, as do monsters who are uninterested in humans. But, fear not, I have many monsters waiting for their mates and many more certain to join them in the future. If you will simply follow me, I shall take you to the matchmaking room where we can fill in your application in complete privacy.”

“That would be amazing, thank you!”

I led Nico to the back of the library, past towering bookshelves and corners with plush velvet chairs and stacks of books beside them, stopping at one particular shelf in the back that was a darker brown shade than all the others. I fiddled with some of the books on the shelf till it shifted, revealing the short, narrow passage to the matchmaking room. Nico looked in awe at every little thing I did, which I tried not to pay much mind to. Many of the people I helped were aware of the process, but even more people had no idea what they were getting themselves into.

“Tell me, Mr. Ross, what do you do for a living?” I asked.

“I’m a chef – well an assistant chef, but I’m on my way to running my own kitchen.”

“How delightful. Do you enjoy your work?”

“Yeah, but it can be stressful. That’s why I’m looking for an outlet to release some tension in my life, if you know what I mean.” He winked at me and nudged my arm.

I smiled politely. I was used to comments like this by now, though they never got any funnier or cuter. “Yes, I’m sure I do. Well, let’s get started on that application, shall we?” I entered the passage first, gesturing for him to follow me.

He stepped inside, looking around curiously while I gathered some empty papers to write his information down on. The only pieces of furniture in the room were a small table, and equally small chair, and an old bookshelf that had been removed from the main floor of the library long ago.

“This is a nice little spot,” he said.

“Yes, it is,” I offered up absentmindedly. “A bit stuffy, though, which is why I use it solely for matchmaking profiles.”

Nico rubbed his hands together and glanced over my shoulder at the papers I held. “That makes sense. Now, just tell me what I need to do and I’ll do it.”

“All I need is for you to answer a few simple questions. First: do you prefer men, women, something else?”

“Men. I’m only interested in men.”

“All right. And does any particular age interest you?”

He shrugged. “Not really. I like older guys, but I like younger guys too. Truth be told, I haven’t really dated since college, so I’m not sure what I want anymore.”

“I understand. What about the physical appearance of your preferred match? Do you like tall monsters, short monsters, athletic, chubby, dark hair, blue eyes? All those sorts of characteristics fit into this category.”

“I actually do want something specific.” His gaze trailed down to the shiny wooden floor, his cheeks suddenly flushed.

“Go on, tell me. I won’t judge.”

“Well, the monster I’m looking for has green skin, a couple of extra large teeth, and is taller than you and me combined.”

I furrowed my brow. “You want an orc?”

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