Page 3 of Size Doesn't Matter

But now he was finally here, and I was about to meet him for the first time. Despite my best attempts to remain patient, I could hardly wait.

I got to the library half an hour early just to be sure I didn’t miss him. I was greeted by the Librarian, cheerful and welcoming as ever.

“He is coming, isn’t he?” I asked them nervously.

“Yes, of course,” they said, giving me a reassuring smile. “You can sit and wait at the table in the back and I’ll direct him over there as soon as he arrives.”

“Thank you, I shall do that.”

Both the table and the chairs were far too small for me, so I pulled up one of the larger chairs meant for reading in and tucked my legs off to one side so that my knees didn’t pop up over the table’s surface.

I didn’t have time to change into something more date-appropriate after work, so I hoped my sweater and slacks were appropriate. I needn’t have worried, however, because the moment my date walked in, I realized I would have painfully overdressed no matter what I chose.

Nico, as he called himself in the text I received, wore a black T-shirt and light-wash denim jeans. The jeans had holes in the knees and frayed threads hanging down around the torn edges, and the T-shirt bore a logo from the local ice skating rink.

Our eyes locked from across the room and he waved at me eagerly, ignoring the Librarian as he passed by them. They started to follow behind him but stopped themself when they were certain he already knew exactly what he was doing.

“Hi, I’m Nico Ross.”

“Hello, Nico. As you’re already aware, my name is Cyrus P. Cartwright, and I am an orc.”

Nico smiled. “Yeah, I know. I’m so curious about orc culture. Do you mind answering a few questions?”

“Not at all. Please, sit.”

Nico sat down, fitting much better in the small wooden chair than I did. I may have looked silly sitting in a lounge chair at a café table, but I didn’t regret switching seats. A beast of my stature needed to do everything he could to stay comfortable in a human’s world.

“If you don’t mind my asking,” Nico began, “isn’t your name a little…humanoid for an orc? It’s just that all the other orc names I’ve seen are different from yours.”

“Yes, that is true.” I smoothed my hair down nervously, wishing now that I’d made time for a haircut. “My parents chose this name for me, as both orc and human parents usually do for their offspring.”

“Why? I mean, why not something more traditional?”

“Well, the surname has been in the family for generations, ever since my great-grandmother married a human man. My father, a Cartwright by birth, and my mother who married into the family name, preferred how ‘Cyrus’ sounds and they chose it. It’s as simple as that, though I am sorry if it’s a disappointing answer.”

“No, it’s not disappointing at all. I was just curious. So, what does the P. stand for?”

“Nothing.”

“Nothing?”

“That’s correct. Some people have middle names while others don’t. My parents split the difference with a middle initial that suited the rest of my name.”

The expression on Nico’s face told me that he was a little confused, but he didn’t seem put off by anything I said, nor was he put off by my more orcish features, which was a pleasant surprise. I’d worried for over a year what my match would think of thick, green skin with that sickly gray cast I worked so hard to change with numerous skincare products, mud-brown hair that curled in thick, tight waves on top of my head no matter how hard I tried to straighten it, and those long, jutting teeth that gave my mouth an obvious underbite. I was not exactly a handsome creature and I knew as much, but Nico didn’t seem to mind. Perhaps he was more familiar with dating orcs than I previously thought.

He leaned forward, looking me up and down. “Do you always wear such scholarly clothing?”

“Well, I am a professor,” I replied. “I must dress for the job. But I do enjoy wearing jeans on the odd occasion –or is that not what you meant?”

Nico shook his head, his smile broadening. “No, that’s fine. It must be hard to find clothes that fit. You’re way taller than any human I’ve ever met.”

I squared my shoulders and puffed out my chest. Height was what humans cared a great deal about, and height was something I had plenty of – height and muscles.

“There are dedicated orc clothing retailers, and some human brands make orc-accommodating clothes as well. It’s not as difficult as you might think. I’ve heard much worse tales from other monsters – goblins, gargoyles, and the like.”

“Of course, that would be tough. As a shorter man, if something doesn’t fit, all I have to do is bring it to someone who can hem it and the problem is taken care of.”

“And your shirt –“ I pointed at his chest. “Do you skate?”

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