Page 104 of Time for Change

The problem is, even though I’m not on call, I’m a business owner, and I need to make sure Caden can reach me if needed. Slowly, I start to climb out of bed, but before I can plant two feeton the floor, my door cracks open and Gianna’s head pops in. I go to ask her what’s up, but the words die on my lips when I see her face.

She’s crying.

“Gi, what’s wrong?” I ask.

She bursts into tears and launches herself at me. Even though I’m not expecting it, I catch her easily and cradle her against my chest. “Gi, you’re starting to worry me. What’s wrong, honey?”

“I-I said bad stuff,” she wails, big tears sliding unchecked down her cheeks.

“What bad stuff? Who did you say bad stuff to?” It couldn’t be her brother. If she had said something she shouldn’t, it would be him in here crying, not her.

But I’m not prepared for her answers.

“Stevie.”

My heart lurches hard against my rib cage at the mere mention of the woman I love. I shift our position so she’s sitting on my leg, turned so I can see her face. Wiping the tears off her skin, I softly ask, “What did you say?”

She shudders a deep breath. “I yelled at her and said she wasn’t my mom. And that I hated her.”

Jesus, it’s worse than I expected.

I hug her against my body for several long seconds before finally asking my burning question. “Why? Why did you say all of that?”

“Because I was mad,” she tells me, sniffling and hiccupping as she tries to take deep breaths.

“You were mad at Stevie?” I ask gently, trying to understand.

Gianna shakes her head no.

“At me?”

She hesitates enough to know that’s the answer.

“You’re not in trouble, Gi, but I really want to understand. Why were you mad at me?”

She exhales. “Because you were going to love her more than me.”

“No, never,” I proclaim, pulling her tightly against my chest. “You are my daughter, Gianna, and the love I feel for you and your brother is different than for anyone else. I know it’s probably hard for you to understand, but you have to believe me. Mommies and daddies love their children to infinity and beyond. It doesn’t matter how much time passes or how many kids they have. There’s enough love for everyone.”

She sighs and rests her head against my shoulder the way she used to when she was little and getting tired. “I was mad at Mommy too.”

“I know,” I tell her, realizing how right Caden was. There were so many changes happening so fast, my daughter didn’t know how to deal with them. The fact I didn’t pick up on it quicker is like a kick to the gut. “Are you still mad at Mommy?”

She shakes her head no.

“Good, because no matter how many babies Cort and Mommy have, she’ll still love you the same. Both of us will. You will always be our oldest baby. The first one we held in our arms.”

She sniffles. “I get a new bedroom.”

“I heard,” I reply, moving her so she’s sitting beside me. “Are you excited to decorate it how you want?”

She nods, the tears finally starting to dry up. “We’re gonna go to the store and look at paint colors, but I think I’m going to do pink and teal.”

“Those are great colors,” I reassure her. “And a new house is a big deal. It means your family is growing and needs more space, and you get to start new memories there with another brother or sister.”

“I want a sister, even though Christian doesn’t.”

“Well, you’ll find out in a few months.”

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