Page 94 of Time for Change

He shakes his head, clearly not understanding.

“Jack, your daughter isn’t comfortable with me, and we can’t force it. I grew up with men being paraded in front of me, and I was never comfortable. The difference is my mom didn’t care what I wanted or thought. You aren’t anything like my mother. You are good and kind and the best parent I’ve ever had the privilege of watching in action. Your kids are the luckiest kids on the face of the earth. But if they don’t want me in that picture, we can’t force it. If we do, they’ll resent me and you, and I can’t let that happen.”

He reaches out, drawing me into his arms. He’s completely beside himself. “Please, just tell me what she said so I can fix this. I’ll talk to her.”

I place my palm against his cheek, memorizing the way his stubble tickles my hand. “You can’t fix this, Jack, and I won’t tell you what she said. Please just know she’s not happy, and I refuse to let you have to choose between them and me.” The last few words come out a hoarse croak. Saying them is painful, like cutting off a piece of my soul.

He shakes his head. “She’s nine, Stevie. She doesn’t get a say,” he counters.

“Wrong, Jack. She’s a part of this relationship too, just like you and me. Please don’t discount her feelings because of her age. I grew up in that situation, and I promise you, she’s not some naïve little child who doesn’t see or feel things. She’s young, yes, but she’s incredibly smart. She’s the best part of you,” I murmur, placing my hand on his chest. “But the truth remains, if she’s not ready or happy,thiscan’t go anywhere.”

His throat bobs. “I don’t want to lose you.”

“I know. And maybe someday things will be different, but we can’t force her to like me or accept me as part of your life. That doesn’t make anyone happy.”

He sighs and pulls me against his chest. “I can’t believe this is how the night is ending.”

I sniffle and gently wipe stray tears on his shirt. “Me either, but if not today, it would happen sooner or later. She needs to feel safe and loved and happy in her own home, Jack. My presence prevents that.”

Threading his fingers into my hair, he lowers his mouth to mine and kisses me hard. The kind of kiss I could get lost in for hours and hours, but unfortunately, like our relationship, this kiss has an expiration date.

I pull back. “I need to go. It’s late.”

“I don’t want you to leave,” he whispers.

I force a smile and cup his jaw once more. “I have to.”

He doesn’t say a word, but I can tell his mind is spinning. I slowly walk over to my shoes and slip them on. I don’t think I’ve ever been as grateful for slide-on boots as I am right now. When I reach for my coat, Jack is there, holding it up to assist me in putting it on.

Grabbing my bag, I step toward the door. He releases the locks and pulls open the door. Just as I reach for the storm door,I pause and glance over my shoulder. “Jack? Don’t be mad at her, okay? She can’t help the way she feels. It’s not her fault.”

He nods, but I’m not sure he agrees. I don’t think he’s upset at her per se, but I believe he’s upset at the situation. He wants to fix it but doesn’t know how.

“Goodbye, Jack.”

He steps forward and kisses my lips one final time. “I won’t say that word, Sweets. It’s not goodbye.”

My heart aches so damn bad I want to cry, but I refuse to do it now. I can break down completely at home, but not here. Not in front of Jack.

He holds the door open as I step outside and move quickly to my car. The cold night air feels much more frigid than it did earlier, but I figured that’s because my entire body and soul are already numb and the chill penetrates me faster.

When I start my car, I don’t even wait for it to properly warm up. I need to get out of here sooner, rather than later, or I’m likely to run straight back inside. But I know this is best. I can’t continue to date someone whose child hates me. I can’t pretend it doesn’t hurt, and even though her feelings may change, I won’t let her go through life as if what she’s feeling is insignificant.

And I refuse to make him choose.

That’s why this is the only option left.

I drive home on autopilot, climb from my car, and shuffle up to my apartment. I stumble into bed and curl into his sweatshirt, inhaling the scent of his detergent. That’s when I finally let the real tears fall. For what feels like hours, I cry over the love we’ve lost. A love that didn’t even have an opportunity to get off the ground.

A love that could have become something great.

Instead, I’ll now carry that love in my heart, and with it, the pain of letting it go.

I’m not exactly sure when the exhaustion finally catches up to me, but it does. All I can hope is it hurts just a little less when I wake up.

However, something tells me this won’t be a quick or easy fix.

In just a short amount of time, Jack Harper stole my heart.

---