Page 37 of Pretty Relentless

“Miss Rutledge, are you going to see the lights?” Annabelle asks as everyone finishes picking up their supplies and straightening their desks.

I open my mouth but hesitate. Do I answer her honestly? What if she asks me where I’m watching it or with who? I don’t make a habit of lying to my students, but this definitely feels like something I can’t really talk about.

“I believe I’ll watch them,” I finally answer, hoping she doesn’t ask any more questions.

“I’m super excited. My dad says he’s going to see them too, but I don’t know where. I invited him to come to the Bluff Preserves with me and Mom, but I don’t think he wants to. It might be weird, because Mom has a new boyfriend. Mike’s nice, but he’s way different than Daddy.”

The corner of my mouth ticks. “Oh yeah?”

Annabelle nods. “First off, Mike has a hairy back and it’s really gross,” she informs me, making a face and sticking out her tongue. “My dad just has a hairy chest, not a back.”

I have to fight from laughing.

“Plus, he wears fancy clothes for his work and gets manicures. Mom was telling me she goes with him, and he pays. Dad’s hands are all rough, and he sometimes gets cuts and splinters.”

“Well, there are many different types of jobs, each one just as vital as the next.”

She nods in understanding. “Mike wants to take Mom on a trip. He gets good deals through his work, and she wants to go on a cruise. I don’t get to go though, but that’s okay. I get motion sickness when we go out on the water.”

“I get motion sickness too,” I tell her, recalling the last time I went out on the lake. Five minutes into the ride, I wasthrowing up over the side. It was not an experience I’d ever want to repeat.

“I like to go on the pontoon though. That’s different because it’s bigger and we go slow. You don’t feel the waves as much. Do you like pontoon boats?” she asks, her brown eyes so focused and interested.

“I’ve never been on one,” I confess. I’m not a huge fan of large bodies of water, and since taking risks are at the bottom of my to-do list, I’ve always chosen to keep my feet on dry land. The one time I let a few friends talk me into taking a Jonboat out was the very last time I was on the water.

“We have one at my dad’s. Maybe this summer you can come with us. He usually gives me pills so I don’t throw up, but even when we forget them, I don’t feel icky like I do on the other boats.”

The bell rings, cutting off any further conversation. Annabelle darts off to get her coat and book bag, while I move to the door. The students are mostly lined up, ready to get out of school for the weekend. “Make sure coats are zipped up,” I remind them, even though I know most of them won’t listen.

I have to try.

“Bus riders, you guys keep to the left side of the hallway, and those going to the pickup line, stay to the right,” I say, as I do every afternoon.

We all walk out into the hallway and join the students already filing out of the neighboring classrooms. I stand in the middle of the hall and watch as my class moves to the exit. Everyone seems eager to go, not that I blame them. There aren’t many kids who actually like going to school as much as I did.

“Have a good weekend, Miss Rutledge,” Annabelle says as she nears.

“Thank you, Annabelle. You too. Make sure you take a picture of the sky tonight,” I remind.

Her brown eyes light up. “Oh, I will! I’ve already told my mom I need to use her phone to send you some pictures.”

Giving her an easy smile, I reply, “I look forward to receiving them. Have a great weekend.”

“You too,” she hollers with a wave as she moves through the hallway and out the door. I know her grandma is here to pick her up, as she is every day. The only exception is when Gavin gets her, but I never see that part, since I’m inside.

When everyone has exited the building, I return to my classroom and prepare to leave for the day. A few teachers pop their head in to wish me a happy weekend or to ask about the aurora borealis tonight. It sounds like everyone from the school is excited to see the event and willing to stay up and try to catch the gorgeous lighting.

I’m more anxious to leave today than normal. Even though I’m not considering this evening a date, I’m feeling a little nervous as if it were. Dating is outside my comfort bubble; despite the fact I have done it on occasion. I’m an introvert. I enjoy books. Finding someone who understands that and doesn’t try to drag me along to every social event they can is difficult.

That’s what caused me problems a few years ago, when the infamous keg stand photo surfaced on social media.

Yet, despite having a bit of anxiety over something like that happening again, I still feel safe with Gavin. And like my friends have reminded me, I can’t stress about things out of my control. I couldn’t control someone else’s actions or words, but I can control how I react to them. I can also control the situations I put myself in as best as possible, which is why I don’t go to bars, and if I do, I don’t drink. My friends also know not to put any photos of me on social media and respect my wishes.

I grab the papers I have to grade over the weekend and slip them into my satchel bag. When I have what I need, I puton my coat and gloves, lock my room, and make my way out to my vehicle, throwing a wave goodbye to any staff member still lingering.

The early January air is crisp, and while a shiver runs through my veins, I don’t let the cold temperatures bother me. Instead, I let it invigorate me and excite me for what’s to come.

Of course, I’m sure it’s because I’m seeing the northern lights for the first time, and not simply for the man who’s taking me to witness the event.

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