Page 67 of Pretty Relentless

My history with men is pretty limited. I didn’t lose my virginity until I was in college, and that experience was more about two people who had never engaged in sex, fumbling through the act. It wasn’t pleasurable, that’s for sure.

My second experience was also in college. It was with my then-boyfriend, Colton. He was a soccer player in my English class, and we paired up for studying. He wasn’t the typical jock, caring just as much about his classes and degree as he did perfecting his craft on the field, so when he asked me out, I readily agreed. We dated for several months before I finally agreed to sleep with him. It was better than my first time, but wasn’t what all the girls had been bragging about. Colton was fumbly and…well, fast. The whole thing was over in about two minutes, and all he wanted to hear was how good he was.

Colton was the guy I was with the night of the college party. You know, the infamous keg stand photo? He convinced me to go to this party at a fraternity one Saturday night. It’s not that I didn’t like parties, but the ones at the frat houses weren’t my scene. I much preferred hanging out in someone’s dorm, a group of friends having a few drinks and talking. Frat parties are full of obscenely drunk people, too-loud music, and bad decisions.

Case in point, Colton did a keg stand. It didn’t look fun at all, really. First off, I’m not a fan of beer, and why someone would find enjoyment in chugging it upside down is beyond me. Once he did it, he begged me to. I didn’t want to, but everyone was watching and chanting my name. I gave in to peer pressure, just to shut them all up.

I hated every second of it. It was nasty and it went up my nose, but everyone cheered when it was over, so what harm did it do?

A lot.

Seven years ago, a photo from that night appeared on social media. There I was, performing my one and only keg stand, and yes, I was only twenty. Word spread quickly around town. The schoolteacher who was caught underage drinking. It didn’t matter if it was nine years later or that it hadn’t happened again. It was as if I was the only person in this town to ever engage in underaged drinking while off at college. In the court of public opinion, I was a terrible person, and probably providing alcohol to my young fifth-grade students.

It was ridiculous.

And almost ruined me, both professionally and personally.

Over the years, I’ve dated a few other guys, but only two of them made it to the bedroom. I’ve just never felt that connection. The soul deep connection you feel clean down to your toes. The feeling you get when you’re with someone you know is special, and how you can’t remember what your life was like before you met them.

Gavin’s image fills my mind, and I smile.

The door opens, and despite the fact I’d much rather stay curled up on his bed, I need to use the bathroom. I always go after sex, thanks to the insistence of my gynecologist back when I was sixteen. Urinary tract infection and all that, and even though I wasn’t having sex at that time in my life, the message she shared stuck with me.

I climb from the bed, my legs feeling a little wobbly. As much as I’d rather stand in the middle of the room and stare at the breathtakingly beautiful naked man in front of me, I need to take care of my own business. Plus, I’m not one who usually stands in the middle of a room without clothes on and lets someone gawk at me. Even though it doesn’t exactly feel like gawking when it’s Gavin. There’s so much appreciation and desire in his eyes.

“I’ll be…just a few minutes,” I blurt out, quickly walking past him and closing myself inside the bathroom.

The first thing I do is take a look at myself in the mirror. My cheeks are rosy and appear to have a scruff burn, which makes me grin. I study my appearance, from my tussled hair to my smudged mascara and find myself…glowing. Is that what good sex does to a person, because if so, I like it.

A lot.

I use the toilet and wash my hands. Only when that’s done and there’s nothing left for me to do but return to where Gavin waits, I get nervous. Am I supposed to leave now? I brought a bag, but maybe he’s not the type to do sleepovers. I know he talked about cuddling and whatnot, but that could have been just that. Talk.

Knowing I can’t just stand in here and fret, I slowly open the door and flip off the light. Gavin is sitting in bed, the bedside lamp on and illuminating the room. His eyes follow my every move as I make my way toward him. It’s not lost on me the fact I’m still naked, wishing I had a shirt or something to cover up with.

“Don’t do that,” he says.

“Do what?” I stop in front of the bed.

“Worry about being naked. You’re stunning.”

My cheeks flush as I avert my gaze. “I, uh, I’m not sure what happens next.”

“Well,” he starts, flipping open the comforter beside him, “next, you climb into bed with me, and we give the whole snuggling thing a try. It’s important to see if it rivals spreading out.”

My heart does this weird swooning thing as I watch him. “I wasn’t sure if we were doing the whole spend the night part.”

His eyebrows creep up. “Why wouldn’t we? Plus, you brought a bag, right? I’ll go get it from your car in the morning,since you’re not going to need the clothes or whatever’s in there until tomorrow.”

I slowly walk to the available side of the bed and slip beneath the blankets. As soon as I’m there, he throws the comforter back over me, bathing me in warmth, and then moves in close. We shift to our sides, his front pressed to my back, and yes, his erection is already growing hard between us.

“This is nice,” he whispers, kissing the side of my head before getting comfortable on the pillow we’re now sharing.

“It is,” I reply with a yawn.

“I’ve had the best time tonight,” he murmurs, his deep voice soothing and calming as my eyelids grow heavy.

“Me too. I don’t want to be presumptuous, but I’d like to do it again.”

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