Page 20 of Promise You Forever

“Asleep with the goats. Hold your breath when she walks by.” Luke walks over to the refrigerator. “What do we have in here?”

“Everything,” Jasmine says. “You won’t have to cook for at least two weeks.”

Luke pulls out a meatloaf and mashed potatoes, holding them up for me to see. “This sound good?”

“Sure. While that heats up, I’m going to run and take a quick shower.” I turn to Jasmine. “Will you still be here when I’m done?” I have some questions for her to answer about Gramps.

“I can be.”

“Great. Thank you.”

I hold my breath as I enter my bedroom, partly worried that Brandon will be sitting inside waiting. There’s a note on the bedside table with his handwriting, but I’m not in the mood to even read it, so I walk straight to my dresser and pull out some comfortable lounge clothes to put on after I get cleaned up.

They are just pulling food out of the oven when I get downstairs, so I jump in and grab plates and forks for us. We settle in at the table before I started peppering them with my thoughts and questions.

“How long do you think we have with Gramps before we need to consider sending him to the care center?” I direct the question to Jasmine, but I’m open to Luke’s thoughts.

“Let’s see how he does over the next few days as everything settles down now that the funeral is over and the guests have left.” She butters a piece of sourdough bread that I’m sure Linda sent. “If he seems to settle back into his normal patterns, we can push it off for a while.”

“But if not?”

“Then I’d say the sooner the better to move him to the care center. He’ll have an easier time adjusting the sooner he goes. It’ll be less jarring.”

“And he’s becoming violent,” Luke adds. “I can’t have him hitting either of you.”

“He was startled and confused,” I begin to make excuses.

“Yes, and that’s why it’s even more dangerous. We never know when he’s going to have a bad day. What if I’m moving the herd from one pasture to another and can’t get to you in time? He’s older, but he’s still so strong.”

He has a point, but I don’t want to believe that Grandpa could hurt me again. In my mind, I want to keep that as a fluke incident. I have to cling to that belief because the alternative is too sad to deal with right now. If that makes me delusional, so be it.

Once we settle on our tentative plan, I make small talk with Jasmine, getting to know her a little better now that all the dust has settled. Luke sends a few text messages while he half pays attention to the conversation. He smiles at his phone and sendsanother text while I feel a little twinge in my chest. I wonder who he’s chatting with that makes him smile like that.

No, I don’t.

I don’t care who he’s talking to. It obviously doesn’t matter to me. If he’s been in therapy, maybe he’s started dating, too. It’s none of my business.

After I clean up the dishes, I find my way to Grandpa’s office. I need to figure out the bills, so I can make sure everything gets paid on time. I’m supposed to stop by the attorney’s office to sign some paperwork tomorrow, I should probably stop by the bank, too.

The office is a mess of scattered papers and piles of bills. Two old computers sit in the corner next to some metal filing cabinets. But the walls are covered with pictures of my grandparents, parents, and myself. There’s also a series of photos showing the ranch when grandpa bought it decades ago through to a current photo.

When I look at those photos, I know there’s no way I’m selling this ranch. It’s the living history of my family, even my parents have good memories here. Money can’t replace that kind of soul.

After hours of sorting through the piles in the office last night, I finally found the place where Grams kept all the passwords. Was it secure? Not even remotely, every single bit of their personal finance information would have been accessible to anyone who found the legal pad sitting on the floor next to a pile of paperbacks. At least they’ve always had honest employees who wouldn’t take advantage of them.

Still made my eye twitch, though, and I only ended up with a couple hours sleep. Which is why I’m stumbling into the kitchen with pajama pants, a hoodie, and my glasses on. The loss of Grams hits me again out of nowhere when I open the cabinet and see her favorite mug sitting unused. She should be at the table reading the paper and sipping her coffee, which would contain more cream than coffee.

After a second of contemplation, I grab the mug beside hers. It’s too soon to start using that one.

Luke walks up to the back door as I fill my mug. His boots and jeans are already crusted with mud, so he doesn’t come past the threshold. He holds his travel mug out to me.

“Can you get me a refill?”

“Sure.” I take the cup from him and fill it. “Been out there for a while already?”

“Yeah, I’m fixing the pig shed up before winter. Their pasture is always a nightmare after rain.”

Considering where it sits on the ranch, it makes sense. The land is tucked away in a small basin, and their pen is near a ravine.

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