Page 30 of Promise You Forever

“Yeah, Sam and Colt took care of them earlier today.”

I look around the room hoping to find something to magically keep myself busy. I don’t have a phone charger, so I can’t even open the kindle app on it to read one of my ebooks. After several minutes of channel surfing unsuccessfully, Luke turns off the TV.

He looks like he wants to say something serious, so I blurt out the first thing that comes to mind. I can’t handle a heavy conversation right now. On top of that I don’t want to sit in silence and think about how I just left my grandfather at the care center hours away.

“Let’s play hangman. I think there’s a notepad on the dresser.” I get up without looking over at him and grab the pad of paper. There’s no pen, but I always have one or two in my purse. “I’ll go first.”

I pick a phrase and draw the start of the diagram while he just sits quietly and watches. The first round kills about fifteen minutes, and then it’s his turn. He takes the pen and paper from me with a gleam in his eyes.

His phrase is made up of nine words, much longer than mine was. I can see based on the first grouping of letters that it starts with an I due to the contraction. I continue to guess letters that are included until only a handful are missing.

He looks up as I inhale sharply at what’s written out.

I’ve never regretted anything as much as hurting you.

I see it in the glacial blue of his eyes as he looks at me. Every regret written out in bold font for me to see and feel. But I’m not in a place to accept that.

“Eli—”

“No.” I hold my hand up to silence him. “I appreciate the sentiment, but I’m not in the right headspace to have this conversation yet.”

His eyes brighten at the last word from my lips. “Yet?” Hope infuses his voice.

“I’m going to get ready for bed.” I stand and walk into the bathroom. Even though the space is small, I can breathe easier in here. His presence is too overwhelming and intoxicating.

I never stopped to heal from the hurt he inflicted on me years ago. I got on Patrick’s jet and flew to LA straight into Brandon’s arms. There’s been times when I’ve wondered if I wasn’t so disconnected from him because I didn’t take any time to work through my emotions about Luke. I just compartmentalized like I learned to do as a child. The possibility of becoming my parents makes my head swim.

But the thought of laying in a bed with Luke again makes me feelotherthings. Things I don’t even want to acknowledge.

Maybe I should sleep in the bathtub. We can barely sit side by side on the bed without touching, and god knows what is on the floor of the motel room. Everything smells and looks fairly clean, but you never know what’s hiding in the carpet.

I take my time washing my face with the bar of hand soap and swishing water around in my mouth. I’d do just aboutanything for a toothbrush right now, but my finger will have to do. When I can’t stall any longer, I join him back in the room. He’s stripped down to his undershirt and boxer briefs.

I slap my hand over my eyes. “What the fuck? Put your clothes back on. You can’t be naked.”

“I’m not naked.”

I peek through my fingers, immediately pissed at the grin on his face. “It’s not funny.”

“It’s a little funny.” He walks over to me and wraps his hand around my wrist, pulling my hand from my face. “You know what I look like naked, so why does it even matter?”

“I erased all the memories from my brain.” Clearly a lie. “In fact, I actually completely forgot what you looked like until you showed up at the airport to pick me up.”

“Pity.” His eyes travel down my body as if he can see right through my shirt and leggings before coming back up to mine. “Because I remember every square inch of your body.”

His expression flares with satisfaction as I inhale sharply. I turn around and pull the covers back. I’m not offering to sleep in the tub now.

He does the same on the other side of the bed.

“What are you doing?”

“Getting in bed.” His brows rise like it’s the most obvious thing, which I guess it is but that’s beside the point.

“With me?”

“Are you going to freak out about this?” His shoulders slump, and he looks down at the ground. “There’s no extra blankets and a draft from under the door. A few snowflakes have even gotten in. I don’t want to sleep on the cold floor.”

No blankets means I can’t sleep in the tub either. I drop back onto the mattress with a sigh.

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