Page 9 of Refuge

“Come on, Lance.” Gemma led the way. “I’m dying to see you get your hands dirty.”

The last thing Leeza wanted to do was talk to Cole about anything. With a heavy heart, she watched as everyone deserted her, leaving her to deal with what she dreaded most. Her face-to-face with Cole.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” Cole frowned down at her as soon as everyone disappeared.

Man, she really didn’t want to have this conversation. She’d wanted to have this conversation weeks ago, but now, not so much. Leeza wasn’t sure how to answer, so instead, she decided to play the smartass. That usually got her out of situations she didn’t want to be in.

“Why didn’t you ask?” she countered, hoping to piss him off enough that he stormed off.

Surprise flittered across his face. “Why didn’tIask?” His voice rose before he brought it back to normal. “After what I walked up on, I didn’t think I had to ask.”

“You thought wrong, obviously,” Leeza replied, then decided to end this right here and now. “Listen, Cole, it’s done and over with. Let’s just forget it and move on. I’m fine.”

“You didn’t seem fine last night.” Cole’s eyes narrowed. “I think your exact words to me were ‘fuck you.’”

“I had a moment.” Leeza glanced away from him, but quickly looked back when she heard him chuckle. Damn the man and his smile. When he smiled at her like that, she turned into a smitten woman, and wasn’t that pathetic! It was even more pathetic that the word smitten came into her thoughts. What the hell did that even mean?

“Oh, a moment was it?” Cole’s dark eyes sparkled when he laughed. The fine lines crinkled at the corners, making him even more handsome. His grin slipped as he stared at her. “I’m sorry, Leeza.”

Okay, now she was hearing things, because never had she heard Cole say those words before. To be fair, he’d never really had a reason to say them to her before now, but still, a man like Cole, an alpha male, didn’t spew those words easily or often.

“It’s just when I saw you, the condition you were in, I thought…. Well, you know what I thought, and I went crazy.” Cole tilted his head. “To think something like that happened underneath my nose isn’t something that sits well with me.”

Those words were like ice water over her head.Smittenshe may have been, pissed she now was. “So, if it hadn’t happened under your nose, you’d be—”

He threw up his hand, stopping her. “Don’t even say it,” he growled back, reverting to his overbearing self. “You know exactly what I mean. Why are you making this so hard?”

Good question. Why was she making this so hard? Maybe because she was hurt beyond anything she had ever felt by the way the whole situation was handled, especially by him. Maybe she was afraid to feel that way again, so being a bitch pretty much solved that problem before it was even an issue. This was her chance to do what she could to make sure no woman in this pack would feel the way she had if it should, God forbid, happen to someone else.

“I’m not the one who made this situation hard, Cole.” Leeza made damn sure her voice was strong and steady. “The men in this pack, the leaders in this pack, as well as the women made it hard. I know how we’re made. It’s bred into us to protect, the feelings of frustration when we fail at that. I had them also, but the way we react to the people who we failed has to change. I hope this never happens again to anyone, but if it does, I want to make damn sure they never feel the way I felt.”

When he remained silent, staring at her, Leeza decided that was it. She’d said her piece, and if he had nothing else to say, then she needed to cut her losses and walk away. That was exactly what she did.

Chapter 5

She was absolutely right. Things were going to change, and he would make sure he was leading that change. Shifter life wasn’t easy. Their lives were far different than humans’, and it was definitely more dangerous. Always someone wanting to come into a pack and take over. Strangers needed to be watched closely, and he had thought they had a handle on that bastard, Foster Manning, but he had been wrong, very wrong.

Cole watched Leeza walk away and knew without a doubt, if he let her go, it would be over, and that sure as hell wasn’t going to happen. Hell, with everything that had happened, they had hardly been able to start anything and for it to be over was out of the question. Without thought, he marched up behind her, gently grabbed her arm and headed toward one trailer. She didn’t try to pull away, which was a good sign. Once at the trailer, he didn’t go inside, but instead, walked around the back where they would have some privacy.

Turning her, so she faced him, his large hands on her shoulders, he stared down at her. “I’ve apologized, and I will apologize every day for the rest of my life.” His hands tightened. “But I will not let you walk away from me.”

“There’s nothing left to say, Cole.” Leeza finally looked up at him. “I told you it was fine. I really want to stop reliving it all. He’s dead. You know the truth of what happened, and I’m going to make damn sure things change. My brother—” Her voice cracked as her chin trembled.

Staying silent, Cole knew she needed to finish. He could see how important it was in her eyes. But her brother’s death was still fresh. He understood her closeness with him because he had the same closeness with his brothers. He didn’t know what he would do if he lost either of them. His body vibrated with the need to protect her, taking away all her fears and make everything perfect for her, but he knew that wasn’t the answer.

“Riley not only entrusted this pack to your brother, but to me as well.” Leeza was finally able to say, a single tear sliding down her cheek. “I feel that I’ve let him down, let everyone down.”

“When your brother got sick, who was the one who kept the pack together?” When she didn’t answer, he answered for her. “You did. No one else. This pack knows how strongyouare, Leeza. Have no doubt about that. You haven’t let anyone down. The only person who thinks that is you.”

Leeza took in a deep shuddering breath, then nodded. He knew she was trying to digest what he said and be strong at the same time. One thing he highly respected about this woman was her silent strength. It reminded him of her brother so much. He hadn’t known Riley all that well, but the little that he did know, he admired. It was rare for shifters to die of sickness; usually it was just their time, or they were killed by another shifter. Riley had been challenged for his pack and from what they had heard from pack members, as well as from Leeza, the fight had been fierce. Riley had won the fight but lost his life because of infection. He hadn’t shifted right away to heal his wounds. Infection for their kind was almost certain death since human medication did next to nothing for them.

His eyes went to the red scar exposed on Leeza’s cheek, and his stomach clinched painfully. She could have suffered the same fate of her brother after waiting so long to shift, but like her brother, her concern wasn’t for herself, but for others. She had waited until it was certain Sherry would be okay before she, without anyone knowing, left alone to shift and heal. He had been beside himself looking for her, but it wasn’t until she walked back into their pack that a small measure of relief had hit him. She had survived, and she had done it alone. Guilt about the whole situation ate him alive every minute of every day, and now more than ever. He’d definitely handled the situation wrong, but he was damn sure going to make it right.

“I want to bring Sherry back.” Leeza finally spoke without acknowledging anything he said, but he was okay with that because he knew she’d heard him. “She never should have left, and I know Sherry would love it here.”

“Then we’ll bring her back,” Cole assured her. He would walk through the fires of hell to bring her back if that was what Leeza wanted.

“First, I’m going to talk to the women to make sure they understand that she is to have nothing but respect when she comes back.” Leeza’s eyes hardened when she stared up at him. “And the men, if it needs to be said.”

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