Page 40 of The Bones of the Cursed

My heart beats faster, in a panic.

He takes us to his tent, mere steps away from where I found him, and sets me down in the entrance before taking my handand leading me inside. Grabbing me by the waist, he pulls me onto his lap. I grind against him, hoping to relieve this growing pressure in my core.

I reach for the button on his breeches, but his shaking hand snaps up, stopping my movements. When I look at him in silent question, he refuses to meet my eye.

Dread drops into my stomach.

I grab him by the chin, forcing him to look at me. My heart sinks at what I see in his face. That wall he had built up so high when I met him is back in place. His eyes are empty, not filled with the joy and humor I had come to love.

My eyes burn. I slide off his lap, fiddling with my fingers. I’m not sure what to do with myself in this moment.

He stares at me with guilt. I nod and swallow hard. I’ve been through so much, lost so much. I’ve lost everyone, even Elion.

And now Kailu.

The damn tears I’ve done so well at holding back finally drop. His breath catches as I aggressively wipe the tears away, pissed I let him see my weakness.

“Alanis…”

My name on his lips makes me flinch. He reaches for me and I back up, looking at him. “I understand. It’s fine. We’ll just go back to doing what we set out to.”

I don’t look at him again as I hurry out of his tent and into mine. It’s there that I let the tears fall. The only sound is my sniffling, which I will say is due to allergies if anyone asks.

I don’t leave the tent the rest of the night.

Not to eat.

Not to drink.

Not even when Hendrix comes by to see if I’m all right.

I curl up in a ball and mourn what could have been.

- KAILU -

I sit at the fire with the rest of the men, but her sporadic sniffles leave my heart in shreds. Malakai sits across from me with a permanent death glare on his face.

I ignore him. It’s his fault, anyway. Gods damn him. And Gods damn my conscience for caring.

I hear her breath catch, and the heart-wrenching sound is the last straw. I need space.

I need to kill something.

I get up and stomp toward the forest. Maybe a hunt will take my mind off my awful luck.

It’s been at least two decades since I was interested in anyone. Alanis started as a nuisance, but each day that passed I saw a little more. Her wits, her humor, her heart.

I rub my chest at the pain that flares. Alanis is so much more than anyone else I’ve ever had in my life, and I’m struggling to grapple with the truth that blasted me in the face in that cave.

I hear his footsteps before I see him. I turn, hurling my dagger. The bastard simply catches it, twirling it in his fingers as he stalks toward me.

“What do you want, Malakai?” I growl.

He purses his lips. “I want to know why she is in her tent crying like you trampled all over her heart.”

I jerk my head back like I’ve been slapped. “You know why. You know I couldn’t let it keep going after everything.”

He’s in my face now, going toe-to-toe with me. He’s got me in height and speed, but we are closely matched in strength.

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