Page 36 of Tattletale

“What do you see me as? Your boss? Your overlord? Your family? What am I to you?”

Vesper’s eyes are filled with pain. I know how to react to her anger. But this?… I don’t know how to respond. “I don’t know.”

“You’re not like Linc and Lance. Your family didn’t abandon you. They weretakenfrom you. And I thought protecting you and keeping you alive would help atone for failing you and Saoirse all those years ago.”

I didn’t realize I was crying until Vesper uses her thumb to brush a tear away from my cheek. With one simple gesture, I’m reminded of my place. My answer is clear. “You didn’t fail me, Vesper. You saved me. It’s not your fault you couldn’t save Saoirse.”

“I did fail you. Your mother, too. Cricket, I’ve known you long before we met. And I think it’s time you learn the truth. I made Erin a promise, and seeing you like this, I know I haven’t fulfilled it.”

Erin.I freeze as the painful ache prickles my skin. It’s been ten years since I heard my mother’s name spoken out loud. “What truth?”

Vesper releases me and slides away a few inches so she can face me head-on. “Your mother died in a car, Cricket. But it was no accident. She was an informant. She betrayed the mob and paid the consequences.”

“What? You’re wrong. Even if that were true, my father would’ve never allowed that to happen. Pappa was the most powerful mob boss in Ireland. My mother had the protection of an entire army.”

Vesper frowns. “But who would protect her fromhim?”

My jaw drops. “How dare you imply—”

“Your father rose to power by being the most ruthless, hard-hearted criminal the Irish mob had ever seen. His wife and daughters were his only soft spot. But the more powerful he became, the more his conscience disappeared. He had his eyes set on moving his operations to the United States. Your mother grew scared.”

I’m paralyzed with shock. I open my mouth, but nothing comes out.

I’m silent, so Vesper continues her explanation. “While I was still working for the FBI, Erin reached out for help and told us about Cillian’s plans and all the people who were in danger. We were working on granting your mother amnesty and protection as a U.S. citizen. But the paperwork was taking too fucking long. By the time we got approval, it was too late. Your father found out. He ordered the hit and told them to make it look like an accident. I went to Ireland to collect Erin and her daughters and hide you in America. Instead, when I got there, I attended her funeral.”

“No… I…” I can barely choke out my protests.

“Loyalty is not to be tested in the mob. But even I was shocked at how far your father was willing to go. He could’ve spared her. But he was angry your mother wanted to leave him. His only focus was settling a score and staying in power. A mob boss shows no weakness and no mercy.”

I shake my head. “No. Lies. Fucking lies.”

I’m still denying it, but my stomach churns as the blurry piece of the picture suddenly becomes more clear. The pain Pappa went through after Mom’s death…it wasn’t just grief. It was guilt and regret. It’s why he could barely look at me and Saoirse for months after she died. He knew exactly what he took from us. All our pain…he caused it.

“Please tell me you’re lying,” I plead.“Please.”But what reason would Vesper have to lie about this?

“Your mother was one of the many reasons PALADIN exists,” Vesper says. “She should be alive. Had paperwork and approvals not gotten in the way, your mother would’ve raised you in America, hidden from the mob. You should’ve had a life away from murderers, terrorists, and rapists. Your mother risked everything to save you both. It’s why I couldn’t leave you behind when I found you all those years ago. But this…” Vesper has to recompose herself with a deep breath. “This lifeis all I could offer you.”

“Stop,” I beg, holding up my hands. “No more.”

“I want you to know what you’re living to avenge. There are no heroes when it comes to this criminal underworld. PALADIN is as close as it comes, and we’re still wildly flawed. If there was evergoodin this world, mankind snuffed it out with the ashes of everything we’ve burned. Cricket…” Vesper lifts my chin, so I’m looking into her eyes. My vision is blurred, my eyes stinging from the hot tears. “I would’ve spared you had you killed Luca. And I would’ve been wrong for it. Bending the rules for you would make me an unsuitable leader, and I would’ve had to stepdown and leave PALADIN behind. But I have no choice but to protect you. Your father chose power... I will always choose you.”

I ball up my fists, trying to hold tightly to something…anything. The sound of the bar noise fades, and all I hear is the sharp sound of shattering. I look around, but no one’s dropped anything.

It’s me.

Breaking into a million pieces.

My affection for my father shatters like a hammer hitting glass. How could he take his beloved wife’s life? How could I twist the narrative and be so wrong about what he was? If he’d murder his own wife, what did he do to the people he didn’t love? What could he have done to me and Saoirse?

Everything I am…

Everything I knew…

It’s gone in an instant as I learn the truth. My real origin story is not made of valor and honor. All this time, I focused on avenging my father. I didn’t realize my mother needed vengeance more. But Pappa’s gone. Saoirse’s gone. Everyone is gone…

Except Vesper. I always saw PALADIN as a means to an end. I served my time until I could accomplish my mission. Now, my mission is obsolete.

What do I do now? Where do I go? Who do I have?

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