Page 104 of Rum Sips and Salty Lips

That’s one thing we will share—the secret of our relationship. We’ll both take it to our graves. But we don’t have to.

I’d be more angry with her if I wasn’t so sad for her.

I came to Wendell Beach wanting community and friendship and a place to call home. It was always a risk that hooking up with her would backfire and I would lose everything. But I didn’t think it would be like this. That I would be here with the two friends I’ve made and still be cut off from them.

All because of her.

I should regret her. But I can’t. Not yet anyway. Not when I’m still so full of love for her.

I send them home in a cab and collapse into a deck chair staring out at the restless water. The lights are out at her place, but I can still see the outline of her pool and feel all the edges she shared with me.

There isn’t anything to throw away. It’s a fling. Never meant to last. No feelings involved.

I can’t go inside where my bed is empty and cold, and I would have never cared about that before. I should just walk to themarina and sit on the bow of theTwisted Rigging.The boat has never let me down before.

But that feels like running. I’m not running away from her or from this.

forty-one

CARINA

I can always counton Paradise to be a little empty on Sunday afternoons. I need to get out of my house because I want to stay in bed. But I will not let Orion take anything more from me. He doesn’t get to change my life.

Sienna and Haley went to Sienna’s mom’s house. I bowed out, citing work. Which wasn’t a lie. But I also didn’t want to be around them.

I want to crumble.

I sit at the bar instead of a table. Bristol takes my usual order, and I hope she’ll engage and distract me. She’s about to make my cocktail when Alex walks behind the bar.

“Bristol, can you grab more limes for juicing?” he asks.

“Sure. You got Carina’s order? Hemingway daiquiri.” She walks away before he answers.

He takes one look at me and tilts his head. “You’re the reason why Orion was a surly bastard last night.”

My eye twitches. I didn’t think he’d go around talking about us now. “If he was mad at me, he would speak up. He doesn’t keep his thoughts to himself.”

Alex grabs a cocktail shaker and mutters something. He’s too fast and practiced for me to follow what liquids he’s using. When he sets it in front of me, it’s not the daiquiri I ordered. It’s a dusty rose and has a lime wedge and a raspberry on the rim.

“What’s this?” I ask.

“It’s called My Pride. It’s on the secret menu. It’s time you swallow it.”

“There’s nothing between Orion and me,” I grit out. I should have known Alex is like me. He doesn’t give a lot away, but inside he’s constantly churning.

“Normally, I would think Orion fucked up. But I know him and how he feels about you. He’s never said anything. You tried to keep it under wraps, but that man would crawl over broken glass for you. He didn’t fuck this up.”

I want to deny it with my very soul. Orion doesn’t get to force weakness out of me. But Alex is right. Orion didn’t do anything wrong.

I take a sip of the drink and I know it’s one of Orion’s favorites. I’ve tasted it on his lips.

I won’t let Alex force a confession out of me…but would it be so bad if he did? We’ve been friends for ages. I can admit to myself I’m miserable. Trying to fake it isn’t helping anything. Why does it have to be so hard to admit it to a friend? Other people let things off their chest. I’ve been listening to Sienna cry for days, and she feels better for it. And for whatever manipulations and meddling Alex has done, he’s never let me down.

Bristol appears again before I let everything out, and I plaster on a fake smile for her benefit. Alex walks away again, shaking his head at me.

I’ve been dreadingthis call. My father insists on check-ins every Tuesday to ensure damage control has been effective. I should appreciate knowing his criticism of me will be scheduled instead of spontaneous. But I feel raw. I’m not hiding anything the way I want to.

I checked the sign-up roster prior to attending class this morning. I don’t want to be in the same room as Orion. I can lead myself through practice, but I want to turn my brain off and have someone else tell me what to do.

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