Page 37 of Rum Sips and Salty Lips

“We do have a shower on board.”

“I don’t have a spare change of clothing.”

Everything is difficult with her. But I refuse to back down. “I do. There are some T-shirts and shorts in the drawers of the main cabin.” She looks like she might give in. “But you wouldn’t wear that because you only wear Nebula Athletics.” Maybe it’s a mistake to needle her when I want her to give in. But I can’t help myself.

She glares at me, then back at the horizon. “It wouldn’t be fair to everyone else if I took up an entire cabin.”

“I’d offer to share, but I know how you feel about that.” Why won’t she admit that rest is an option? “Have you ever once put yourself above anyone else? Isn’t self-care important?”

“I’ve done things for myself,” she says.

“Yeah, once. And you bolted out of here like you were on fire,” I blurt.

“Please, you didn’t want me to stay.”

We said it was a one-time thing—but that didn’t mean we couldn’t linger. I won’t argue about it anymore. “Whatever, Carina. We’re on the boat. Let’s not fight.”

“Right. I’m going for a swim.” She stands abruptly, and for once I don’t watch as she removes her cover-up.

I shake my head and join the others on the beach.

An hour later, she’s a little redder when we finally pack everything up and head back to Wendell Beach.

Bristol helped me sail on the way out, but as we sail back, Carina steps up. I don’t know if she’s trying to prove something to me or if she’s genuinely curious and wants to learn. I explain everything as I do it, and she doesn’t fight me once. Not even when I correct her and say they aren’t ropes, but lines or sheets.

“The saying is ‘showing the ropes,’” Carina says out of genuine curiosity.

“I don’t know what to tell you, princess. English is weird.”

“I don’t get you two,” Alex says.

“What do you mean?” Carina asks. She looks up at the mainsail with a little bit of pride, having helped me raise it.

“You’re the calmest person ever, and then he shows up and you’re a raging ball of fire. Now, you’re back to your usual self.”

Her eyes flare at the suggestion she is the calmest person ever.

I don’t know what to tell them. She thinks she needs to hide herself from her closest friends. The risk of exposure too great for even them.

At the same time, I’m confused about how I get this piece of her no one else does. I haven’t done anything to deserve it, but I’ll do everything to protect it.

I like her when she’s on fire, and I have no doubt if I protect that flame, even when it’s flickering and faint, it will turn into a raging bonfire. I want to see her alight.

I attempt to catch Carina’s eye, but she won’t look at me.

“I need more sunscreen,” she says and heads down to the cabins.

“What’s her problem?” Alex asks.

I look to Haley for an answer. They’ve known her longer than I have. They should be the ones to fix this. I’m already frustrated enough with them.

Christian answers. “She’s under a lot of pressure right now. It can’t be fun for you to also expect her to behave exactly one way.”

“Are you saying I hurt her feelings? She could have said something,” Alex says. “She’s never gotten upset before.”

“Christian’s right,” Haley says. “But she doesn’t make it easy or let anyone in.”

I can’t believe they talk about her like this. They’re good people and I’m sure they’re great friends, but they only see what they want to see. They see the perfect version of Carina and engage with that.

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