Page 42 of Rum Sips and Salty Lips

It’s been years since my anxiety has run away like this. I need to push it down and push it away. Orion came into my life like a storm. I have no preparations completed. I need to throw my shutters closed and keep him out.

I’ve learneda few things in the last twenty-four hours.

I might actually like Orion. I’m attracted to him. That was never in doubt. But for a brief period, he was mine. Sure, he’d met Haley during our charter, and knew Alex from before. But we had a special relationship. I was the one he shared rum with on his boat. I was the one he messed with because he knows I cantake it. I don’t know how he figured it out, when everyone treats me like I am breakable and need protection. Something nice and pretty to look at but never to engage with. I was the calming presence. Never the life of the party, even if I was the one who planned it.

Now he knows everyone, and they smile at him. And he and Haley have some kind of code they speak.

Okay, maybe she’s explaining the recipe she’s making.

I’m polite and drink my rum punch out of my tumbler and pretend I haven’t fucked him and then rejected him and now want to throw myself at him. Damn the consequence and the ultimate dismissal and heartache I would face.

Why did he have to bring up orgies?

All I could think about was his sweat and my sweat, and he smelled so good standing in my office, and I wanted to reach for him and pull him close.

Haley sits down on the chair next to me. “You okay?” she asks.

“Yes.”

“Come on, I know that face. Are you mad we planned this without you? It was Orion’s idea and I have to admit it was a good one.”

“No, it’s not that.”

“Then what is it?”

“It’s nothing. Adding a new person to the group changes the dynamics. I’m working on it.” After yesterday and feeling like I had to do everything even around fully functioning adults, I can admit it’s nice to have the burden lifted. I can’t remember the last time someone did something for me. I look to Orion, who’s laughing with Autumn and Christian.

“Uh huh.” Haley doesn’t appear convinced but doesn’t want to push more.

Orion would. He’s figured out what buttons to push for a reaction and I don’t know how that happened. But Haley doesn’t push. She lets me stay hidden.

I’ve already shared more of myself with Orion than I have with her, beyond the sex. He knows all my fears. If I had known it would be like this, would I have changed anything?

He looks at me and I want to look away. For anyone else, I would look away. Instead, I hold his gaze. He’s reading me.What does he see?

“Sorry, everyone. I would play some music, but my neighbor doesn’t like it when I’m loud,” he proclaims.

“Oh lordy,” Haley mumbles. “Here we go.”

“Why would I complain about it now?” I ask. “I’m right here.”

“I don’t know,” he says. “You’re notoriously difficult to deal with.”

“Hey! She was perfectly pleasant when we chartered your yacht.” Haley might be Team Orion at times, but the second he picks on me, she’s ready to fight.

“It’s fine,” I tell her. I almost reach to touch her arm but pull back. “If everyone thinks I’m easy to deal with except you, maybe you’re the problem,” I say.

“You wound me.” He fakes an arrow to the heart.

“You have weird vibes,” Autumn says. She’s an elementary school teacher and doesn’t hang out with us often. I’ve never really understood it. She and Christian are beautiful people. But I’ve never met two people with less chemistry.

I’ve often wondered if they hide it until they are home.

“I should grow my hedges taller, so I don’t ever have to look at your yard.” It’s my turn to watch him struggle to maintain composure. We haven’t been suggestive in front of others, and he’s thinking about a trimmed bush.

It’s comforting that we have this shared communication, and he’s proved I can trust him with a secret. I feel warm and protected, regardless of the look on my face.

“I don’t care what you do with your bushes as long as you two don’t bring it into the bar,” Alex says. “The locals’ section must stay conflict free.”

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