Page 69 of Rum Sips and Salty Lips

“Sure.” I kiss her forehead.

“I should get up.” She doesn’t move. She wants me to remove her shorts and my shirt and remind her how good I can make her feel. She can pretend this is simply sex or friendship, but she took care of me and kept me close all night. She feels more than she is willing to let on.

I can wait until the boat tonight to get her naked again.

I roll away from her and let her sit up. We take turns in the bathroom, and I put on my shorts. I move to give her back the T-shirt, but she tells me to keep it.

The boatthat night goes about the same as before. The doctor cleared me for activity if it isn’t high intensity. I overextended some muscles, so rest and stretching my hips will fix the problem. Once we are on the boat, Carina insists on doing the heavy lifting, and I’m happy to let her. She is stronger than she appears.

I wait patiently for some indication this trip will take a turn. That the two of us will end up below deck again. She looks relaxed. Happy, even. Her face is turned to the sun. She doesn’t take one of my shirts when I offer.

“Can we anchor here?” she asks as Wendell Beach drifts out of sight. The water is only about thirty feet deep, so it’s not a problem.

“Any particular reason?” I’ll make her say it.

She steps in close to me. “I thought you might benefit from a massage.”

I lift my eyebrows. “I foam rolled before I left the house.”

“You’re difficult.” The wind blows her hair into her face. I brush it behind her ear. It’ll escape in a moment but I need a reason to touch her.

“We’re on the boat,” I say. “Things don’t have to be difficult. Just honest.”

She looks around at the emptiness of the sea. I want her to decide that here we can have each other. I don’t need her to pretend she’s perfect. I want her to want me the way I want her: raw, vulnerable, and free.

“I…” She closes her eyes. “I like sleeping with you.”

“Good. Because I like fucking you.”

She smiles. “It’s just sex. We’re friends. It’s a fling and no feelings are involved.”

“Sure.” My feelings already run deep. This isn’t like any relationship I’ve had before. Hers do too. She just won’t admit it.

“And we’re not telling anyone.”

I blink a few times, trying to convince myself I heard something different. “Why not?” I didn’t expect her to put out a press release but telling no one is restrictive.

I can already feel the thousand ways this woman will hurt me.

She breathes out and adjusts her shirt, not looking me in the eye. “We know what this is. We know what we’re doing. I don’t need anyone projecting more than friends with benefits.”

“Frenemies with benefits,” I correct as a defense.

“Whatever. You’re trying to find your footing here. When we get bored with each other, at least this way we can minimize the fallout.”

“What if there is something more here? What if we could be more than friends? We can’t keep that a secret forever.”

She looks skeptical. “Then let’s figure it out without any interference from others.”

She’s making excuses to keep me hidden. But I’m so desperate for her that I don’t care. I’ll be her secret if I get to keep and hold on to the things she hides from everyone else. Iwon’t get bored with her. I might have thought I felt this way with others, but this is different.

She’s mine, even if she doesn’t know it yet.

I should push for more concessions. I should ask for fidelity. But I don’t. I don’t want to spook her, and here on my boat, there is no one else. I am the only one who matters.

Instead, I cup her cheek and tilt her face up to meet mine. I kiss her, and in this kiss I promise her I’ll protect her secrets.

Then I lead her to my cabin, strip her down, and expose them all.

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