Page 96 of Rum Sips and Salty Lips

“No, I trust him. It’s just…” She lets out a heavy sigh. “I’m excited about the wedding. I’m ready to be married to him. But I’m sad my solo days are over.”

Haley and I nod. “It’s a change, and a big one. Of course your feelings are complicated,” I affirm.

“I know. It sucks that my program is one more year. He’ll be in Boston as much as he can. It feels like even though I’m taking this big step, I’m waiting for my life to begin. I want everything I love to be in one place. I don’t even get that yet.”

Haley places her hand on top of Sienna’s. “Enjoy the moments while you have them.”

Orion sitson his deck when I get home. It’s sunset on Sunday night and I’m completely exhausted. The wedding is in three weeks and we have so much to do. But we’re almost there.

All I want to do is crawl into Orion’s arms.

I drop my bags in the front hallway of my house and leave out the door, locking it behind me.

I don’t say anything as I approach him. I just settle onto his lap and rest my head on his chest.

He plants a kiss on my forehead. “Good trip?”

“Yeah. I feel like shit though,” I mumble.

“Carina Webb, are you hungover?”

“Not so loud.” I bury myself deeper into his chest. His steadiness calms my roiling stomach.

His fingers stroke my arm. “I’d love to see you drunk.”

“You’ve missed your chance. It happens rarely. Now that I remember it feels this terrible, it won’t happen again for a while.”

“I’d take care of you. Make sure you drink water, hold your hair while you’re throwing up.”

“Don’t mention throwing up.” I don’t need reminders of my morning over the toilet before rallying for brunch. And then the drive home where every pothole felt like I was going to be sick again in the bright sunlight.

“Let’s get up. I have ginger tea. It’ll settle your stomach.”

I take his hand and let him guide me. I wonder if this will be the time he brings up telling everyone that we’re together. If he does, I won’t be able to shut it down. I’m weak and I’ll do almost anything for him right now.

My ability to pretend I’m not in love with him is fading fast.

Orionand I sit at a booth in the locals’ section of Paradise. The bar is quiet ahead of tonight’s Halloween party. Sienna arrives tomorrow for the wedding, and I’ve been getting as much done beforehand as possible. The last two weeks have been hectic. I’ve wanted to scream at Beckett so much. Every time I ask him for something, he’s taking hours to respond. Or tells me his opinion doesn’t matter when Sienna specifically said it did. I don’t know how Haley has tolerated him for so long.

Orion has been incredibly patient through everything. He’s made me dinner more nights than I should admit, considering he’s working long hours on the boats. I asked him once if he was doing it so I don’t jet off on a superyacht with my ex. He kissed me and told me he’s not worried.

The fabric scandal died down, like Orion said it would. Sales have slowed, but not by as much as we feared. People moved on. My life may revolve around Nebula Athletics, but very few others feel the same way.

He doesn’t mention telling anyone about us sleeping together. I think he understands where I’m coming from. But part of me believes he’s biding his time. He looks at me with hunger and lust. I won’t let myself hope for anything more. He’s waiting to get through the wedding where he’ll meet one of Sienna’s hot cousins, or a rich friend of Beckett’s. He’ll be done with me. I’m a networking opportunity who gives him orgasms.

Now, we’re waiting for Haley to meet me. We have a last-minute planning session. The only reason I’m with Orion is because he’s meeting Alex. And since the two of them are running an errand together, it makes sense for us to wait with each other.

It has nothing to do with the fact we were having sex thirty minutes ago.

Across from me, Orion looks as tired as I feel. He doesn’t hide from the world, while I’ve concealed the bags under my eyes, exfoliated my skin until it shines, and glossed my hair into oblivion.

I want to wrap my body around his and never let go.

“What?” he asks, taking a sip of his rum.

“Nothing,” I say.

I wish I had taken more precautions against him. I’ve let him get too close. But a part of me knows I had no input in this—he came into my life and it wouldn’t have mattered what I did. He’s a force of nature. I have no protection against him.

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