Page 37 of Fire & Ice

“I amsoproud of you. I think I should just speak plainly, Tripp. I was leaving for the night because I thought that was what you wanted. And other, more arbitrary reasons, none of which mean anything now. I apologize for not being in tune with your needs and for not asking outright. It willnothappen again. Likewise, I expect that you’ll be equally honest with me in the future. If you feel upset or uncomfortable, if you need something that I am not providing you—keeping in mind thatwantis different thanneedand that this is not an excuse to be a raging brat—you will be frank. Understand and agree?”

“Yes, Sir,” Tripp replies, brighter and more enthusiastic than Leander’s seen him since early last week. It’s relieving, and as he slides back off of Tripp’s lap and onto the coffee table, he breathes out a sigh that reflects that feeling.

“So,” Leander says conversationally, as he folds his hands in his lap. “Regarding our contract, is there anything else you’d like to discuss before I take you to bed and keep you there until we both have a non-negotiable elsewhere to be?”

“Uh…” Clearing his throat, Tripp looks a little sheepish, his cheeks pinkening slightly and his feet pressing up onto their toes against the floor. “Beau told me he saw you. At the bar.” Leander raises an eyebrow but doesn’t comment, allowing Tripp to get whatever he needs to say out.

“I know I shouldn’t have—I’m sorry for avoiding you, and for making it look like I was hooking up with someone else. I wasn’t,” Tripp clarifies, “for whatever it’s worth. She was just an old friend, and I thought…” He shrugs. “I knew there was a good chance Beau would talk to you, that you’d find out.”

“You thought you’d try and make me jealous,” Leander surmises carefully.

“I wanted to piss you off,” Tripp adds helpfully, more lively and colorful by the second, andGod,it’s so wonderful to see. “I didn’t understand why I felt like stomped over horseshit, and you were with Autumn, and—I don’t know. I’m not gonna pretend I have a good reason.”

“I see,” Leander replies thoughtfully, dragging a finger slowly across his mouth and filing the ‘you were with Autumn'comment away for later. “Well, as we’ve discussed, much of that was my own fault. I can’t blame you for your avoidance of me, based on your conflicting feelings. However, I certainly think a punishment is in order for thegirl.For trying to bait and mislead your Dom, who cares about you and is trying his best to meet your needs.”

“Guilty,” Tripp admits with a shrug. “I didn’t do it, though.” Suddenly, his expression turns earnest as he stares into Leander’s eyes. The intensity and insistence woven through his words are startling, and Leander is surprised by this particular reaction. “You believe me, right?”

“Of course, Tripp,” Leander replies. “I will always take you at your word. This is a discussion we badly needed to have, and I would hope that you wouldn’t lie to me now, after all we’ve been through.”

“No,” Tripp says firmly, shaking his head and letting the blanket drop slightly off of one bare shoulder. It’s distracting and enticing, and Leander’s interest in focusing on that newly-revealed skin nearly distracts him from what Tripp says next.Nearly.

“Um, on that topic, I actually think I might have another…need.”

“Oh, really?” Interested and eager to show Tripp that he’s taking his communication attempts seriously, Leander tears hiseyes away from the curve of his collar and shifts them over to Tripp’s face. “Do tell.”

In his lap, Tripp’s hands are fiddling with each other—he’s nervous.“So, I was wondering what you thought about us maybe being exclusive, as far as both the BDSM and sex in general goes. I wasn’t going to say anything before, but it’s like...” Tripp trails off and motions toward his head with a single finger. “All these pieces just sort of clicked into place with the stuff you said. Things I’ve been feeling over the past few days. I mean, I get it if you’re not into the idea, but for me, I think that I need to be focused onyou. I think that would help me, knowing that you’re—”

He cuts himself off and stops, throwing his shoulders back and straightening his spine, blatantly searching for the right word to use while Leander’s heart thumps excitedly in his chest. Finally, Tripp concludes, “That Ibelong to you, just you. Does that…does that sound stupid?”

Struggling to control his voice and keep it from either shaking or belying how entirely thrilled he is, Leander nods before he speaks. “You know that I don’t seek out random sexual encounters,” he says and Tripp nods in return. “And that I require an emotional connection to dominate someone. You are the only person I’m interested in doing this with right now, Tripp. I’m…” Leander trails off, unsure whether he’s taking things a step too far, but then deciding,to hell with it, Tripp said he needs this.“I’m thrilled that you want to be exclusive. I’m thrilled you want to be mine.”

The smile he’s rewarded with makes the risk feel paid off tenfold. “Great,” Tripp tells him. “Damn. That’s great, Lee. Oh, um. So, since we’re doing that, do you…have any interest in revisiting the whole condom thing?” Tripp is doing his bestto sound indifferent and nonchalant to the idea, but his tone betrays him, and it’s Leander’s turn to smile.

“Very much so,” he replies. “I was tested a few months after Autumn and I ended things, and I haven’t been with anyone since, present company excluded. I have copies of my paperwork and can show them to you, if you like.”

Tripp’s eyes widen and he waves Leander off. “Yeah, no, that’snotnecessary, dude. I trust you. Um, I haven’t been with anyone since the last time I was tested, either. After I broke up with that stripper, for reasons. I definitely don’t have the papers, but I’m sure I can call the clinic and—”

“Unnecessary,” Leander replies with amusement. “I trust you, as well.” He pauses and tilts his head, narrowing his eyes a little at Tripp. “Really? No one besides me in the past six months?”

“Didn’t realize you were keeping track of my conquests.” Tripp snorts, evading the question, and Leander lets him. “So…just like that? We can skip the rubber?”

“I’m open to it if you are,” Leander says with a punctuated lift of his shoulders. “We’ll amend the contract. I’m also going to include the basics of our aftercare plan going forward, though you shouldnotfeel as if these are hard boundaries or limits. They are simply a guide, a visual so that you can see that I hear you, that I’m taking your concerns seriously.”

Tripp blushes and ducks his head. “Dunno if we need all that,” he mumbles, but Leander ignores him, standing to make his way into the kitchen and retrieve both their kink lists and the contract from one of the drawers. He sits back down on the coffee table, twisting his body to the side so that he can write after first handing Tripp his version of the list and asking for him to review it.

“Change anything you feel differently about, for any reason,” he suggests, and Tripp nods. “These lists are as fluid as the owner wishes them to be.”

In the aftercare section of their contract, Leander leaves an elaborate note detailing his improved promises. Extended skin-to-skin, sleeping together in the same bed, Tripp staying overnight unless otherwise requested, and Leander not leaving before they’re both awake in the morning. All of those things should go a long way towards soothing Tripp’s feelings of rejection and abandonment, towards preventing this sort of drop and distress moving forward. As an afterthought, Leander adds a blurb about checking in (and equally, Trippanswering)at least twice per day should they need to be apart for some extended length of time following an intense scene.

All told, he feels good about the alterations, and even better when Tripp looks positively relieved at seeing them in writing. It’s strange, the feeling curling inside his chest. All of this time he’s been avoiding doing theonething Tripp really needed, and that was to both of their detriments. Is it possible things could really be this simple? That theycanboth find solace and satisfaction with each other?

On some level, Leander still feels guilty and even slightly worried. After all, Tripp doesn’tknowwhat he’s taking away from this experience, how it’s different for him because of his feelings. Leander supposes it doesn’t matter, though. He should probably consider himself lucky to have this excuse to be open and affectionate, to touch and care for Tripp in the ways he’s so desperately wished that he could.

He’s been handed a free pass to basically live the boyfriend experience, and if there’s one thing Leanderdoesknow for sure, it’s that he’s not going to waste it this time.

***

“You have a choice, today,” Leander tells Tripp. His sub is bare again, save for the collar and his lovely panties, which Leander openly admires again as he presses against Tripp’s shoulders to encourage him down onto the playroom bed. They haven’t talked about the scene yet, but there’s a vibe flowing between them after that intense conversation, and Leander’s instincts tell him to follow it through. The panties were Tripp’s bait tactic, but much as Leander’s a sucker for him in lace, they’ll have to wait.

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