Page 83 of Fire & Ice

Tripp seems to feel the same, anxious as he is to drag Leander back underneath the covers before he’s done even a passable job of cleaning up and caring for him. Though he has to hold the glass himself and tip the liquid into Tripp’s mouth near-forcibly, Leander does manage to get most of the juice into his belly before Tripp’s adamant twisting of their limbs together wins out and he has to set the cup down or lose it.

“You need to drink that,” he admonishes sternly, which is hard to do with a sappy smile on your face.

“I needyou,” Tripp counters, eyebrows raised, and if that isn’t acheckmate, game over,Leander doesn’t know what is. Poking Leander in the ribs, Tripp grins and waggles said eyebrows. Leander rolls his eyes, because he certainly can’t admit that he’s putty in Tripp’s hands.

“C’mon,” Tripp wheedles, “Give me something good to think about tonight when I’m all alone and stuck in the shitty bunk by the door with the janky frame.”

“I believe I’ve already given youmany‘good things’ to think about, greedy. Also, Station Fifteen’s mattresses were at least replaced sometime in the last decade,” Leander reminds him, as Tripp settles easily into his arms, head pillowed on his chest. “I’m fairly certain that ours were purchased in the estate sale from that defunct nursing home over on Fourth Street.”

“That’s maybe the most disgusting thing you’ve ever said, Lee.”

“It’s true,” Leander replies defensively. “At least, I think it’s true.” Tripp snorts and buries his face into the sideof Leander’s neck, one arm slung casually around his torso. Leander’s eyes slip closed as he feels Tripp inhaling a deep, satisfied breath, holding his own as his friend blows it back out, hot on Leander’s skin.

It would be soeasyto tell him, right now. The moment even feels right.

I love you,he would say, and Tripp—whatwouldTripp say in return? Leanderhopes,prays,feelsthe way Tripp holds him so tenderly, and it’s hard to imagine a situation where hewouldn’treply in kind.

This can’t be imagined,he thinks. Socially awkward as he may be, this isTripp,and LeanderknowsTripp. Why is it so hard to fully believe that he might be right about this, too?

But then,whydoesn’t Trippsayso?

Sucking in a deep breath and exhaling in measured motion, Leander pushes those thoughts aside. There’s no reason to taint their afterglow or the rest of their day together with confusing ‘what if’s. Later, when they’re away from the playroom and on even footing, when they’re not staring down the barrel of several nights in a row spent apart, Leander will consider testing the waters.

Not now.The worst thing he could do would be to send Tripp away on another misunderstanding or miscommunication. One that they’ll both have to stew over alone, inevitably twisting and blowing up into something that it was never meant to be. So, later it is.Not today.

In his arms, Tripp sighs blissfully, and Leander wraps both arms even tighter around him as he turns more fully to face his friend.

“I’m very grateful to have you, Tripp,” he ends up saying, because he just can’t leave well enough alone.

In response, Tripp nuzzles back, his hair tickling Leander’s lips and nose, making him smile. “‘S’me too, Leeee,” Tripp slurs, clearly having journeyed the better part of the way to unconsciousness already, so Leander stops needling at what’s between them and joins him.

***

Domestic.That’s the word for what they’re doing, the explanation behind the warm, fluttery feeling in Leander’s chest when he looks down and sees Tripp sprawled between his legs.

They’ve retreated to the couch, now, after waking lazily, showering slowly, and cooking a meal that’s going to take several hours on the treadmill to burn off. As much as Leander enjoyed the wedding yesterday, from the public play to the teasing, and—yes,he can admit it—theromanceof it all, this is something different. As much as he wisheseverynight and every morning could be filled with the kind of wildly satisfying sex and submission they’ve shared, it’s these last few hours spent with Tripp that Leander has enjoyed the most.

And isn’t that bizarre? Despite the fact that Leander can recognize (now) that he’s harbored budding feelings towards Tripp for quite some time, since long before they ever slept together,thisis an outcome he could never have foreseen. Having someone in his space who feels as if they belong, like they’re some kind of piece to his puzzle that Leander didn’t even realize he was missing. He can’t imagine attempting to return to a life withoutthisversion of Tripp in it.

Even when Autumn was around, she never stayed for this part—not that Leander wanted her to do so. The two of them were exclusively Dom and sub in the playroom, and in public, they were friends. They didn’t shower together outside of scenes, didn’t kiss for no reason at all, didn’t share the burden of chores and clean-up. Perhaps most notably, they did not spenddays on endenjoying each other’s company, simply because theycould.

This is brand-new territory he and Tripp are exploring, and it frightens Leander a little at how much helovesit. How desperately he yearns for this to be his everyday reality, and for Tripp to want the same thing. The boring, the mundane, the rote. Leander wants to be dull and domesticwith Tripp,and he can’t quite figure out how and when that happened.

He wants today on repeat: stripping soiled bed sheets with Tripp standing on the other side of the mattress, cracking terrible jokes and acting entirely carefree. The way Tripp so easily gathered the dirty sheets and dropped them into the hamper before making his way over to the usually-covered windows and pulling the curtains, lifting the sash to circulate fresh air through the room. He’s sonatural,so comfortable in Leander’s home.

Of course, Tripp has always been that way, hasn’t he? He just hasn’t been that way wearing nothing save for Leander’s collar, Leander’s fingerprint bruises, and Leander’s teeth marks.

That thought alone was enough to bring the rest to a screeching halt, Leander having to closely examine whether it waspossessivenessover Tripp that’s been driving his feelings of late. Of course, that devastating thought was easy enough to discard as he watched Tripp finish re-making the bed, kneeing his way onto the crisp, fresh sheets with a mischievous grin plastered across his face.

“Wanna mess these up too, Sir?” he asked, and Leander melted.

Tripp is already his, and what Leander feels for him—what he cravesfrom him—goes far beyond simple jealousy or the desire tokeephim. No, Leander wantsallof this. Wants Tripphere all of the time, wants this space to betheirspace, and for Tripp to always move around it as freely as Leander has watched him do today.

Because none of it stopped with the scene. It’s certainly not new territory for the two of them to forgo leaving their roles at the playroom door, butnothingthey’ve done since stepping outside of that space earlier this afternoon has been about sex.

Service, perhaps. Submission, definitely, but notsex,and sex is what their relationship—their contract—is predicated on. Sex isallthat contract is, really, at the end of the day. So the spillovermustcome from one of two things: either Tripp’s novice nature to the BDSM community is making him confused, or this is something that he wants, too.

Perhaps that’s the segue I need,Leander thinks. He could bring these things up in the context of their weekly contract review, test the waters that way and see how Tripp responds. It would be…safer,for both of their hearts and their friendship. That is, if Leander has somehow misinterpreted the signals he believes with increasing certainty that Tripp has been sending. In a review setting, Tripp will have an easy out, if he wishes to take it. He can simply say that he didn’t understand the boundaries and limits of a Dom / sub relationship and their contract. If that turns out to be the case, then they can fix it going forward, and Leander will let the rest go.

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