Page 32 of Betting Blind

“They were,” I state nonchalantly. “For about six whole minutes.” I know he’s pissed, but even his anger doesn’t dampen my mood. “They’re picking out more details than I originally anticipated. I’m being careful. Don’t worry about me, I’m handling it.”

“Are you?” he asks quietly. His fingers close around the arms of my chair, and he rolls me forward until I’m only millimeters away from him. He leans forward until he’s in my face. “They’re in your head, Little Bird, and you’re making mistakes.” I narrow my eyes and tilt my chin up defiantly. “You need to get your shit together before I decide to take matters into my own hands.”

I raise my foot and plant the sole of my boot lightly on the seam of his jeans. “My shit is together,” I say slowly and apply a little pressure with my heel. Threatening another blow to his manhood, in more ways than one. “I suggest you get your shit together and get it out of my face.”

Hector’s lip quirks up on one side and I fight the urge to bitchslap him. “You know it gets me hard when you threaten me, Little Bird.” He doesn’t voluntarily move a muscle, but I feel him twitch under my foot.

“Shameless flirt,” I sneer. “You know better,” I admonish him and try to push myself backward with the foot connected to his body, but his hold tightens on the arms of the chair, keeping me firmly in place. “You’re just worried that someone is going to get to me.”

“Maybe.” He pauses and leans closer until I can feel his breath on my cheek. “Maybe I’m afraid that someone is going to take you away from me. Maybe I’m worried that you’re going to get yourself killed doing something stupid and reckless. Or…” His nose skims along the shell of my ear, and I can’t help the shiver that snakes down my spine. “Maybe I’m just tired of waiting for you to see what’s right in front of you.”

I close my eyes and inhale the scent of him, my pulse hammering in my ears. Cedar, whiskey, and something sweet. Vanilla. He must have snuck into the kitchen and snagged a few cookies. “Right in front of me,” I whisper breathily. “I see…” My other foot lashes out to hook around the back of his knee, catching him off guard and sending him to the ground. I grab his left hand and twist his wrist until it’s almost facing the wrong direction and against his temple. “I see a man that’s testing my patience.”

He doesn’t flinch at the venom in my voice. I take a moment to gather my wits before looking down into his eyes. Despite all the shit we’ve been through, him on his knees in front of me causes my stomach to drop. “Just checking,” Hector grunts out through the pain but doesn’t try to pull away. “Thought sex had clouded your brain and you were making dumb decisions.”

Maybe he’s right. Maybe I just need to have someone fuck me into oblivion because, at this point, every man with some muscle is looking more delicious every day. I’ve briefly thought about going to Hector when I need an orgasmic fix, but I’ve never wanted it to jeopardize our working relationship. Plus, he’s never seemed overly interested. He flirts shamelessly, but then again so do most of the other guys that I employ.

I release my hold on his wrist and shove him so that he falls back on his ass. “The only dumb decision I made today was not putting a bullet through your skull,” I retort and stalk out of the room without another word. After I take a few steps, I peek over my shoulder and catch him adjusting the crotch of his pants. He looks up at me and jolts slightly like he didn’t expect me to still be standing in the hallway.

I turn on my heels and round the corner, practically running from the emotions I saw flicker across his face. I go months, years even, without so much as a glance from a man other than a salute and ‘yes ma’am’. Now I have a whole handful of them panting after me like dogs on a hot summer day. The tell tale sign of anxiety starts to seep into my veins, causing my stomach to cramp and my throat to tighten.

Badass motherfucker might be my outward appearance to the world, but on the inside, I’m constantly at war with my demons and fears and failures. Then the questions start rolling through my mind.

How could someone want me when I have so much blood on my hands? Who could ever find a reason to keep you alive once they figure out all that you’ve done? How can I live with myself knowing that I murder people almost daily? What the fuck is wrong with me?

I slip into the nearest office and thank all the gods that it’s empty. My knees buckle as I press my back to the locked door and slide to the floor. Inhaling for four and exhaling for four. That’s what my therapist always tells me to do when I start to have an attack. I close my eyes and continue to count my breaths until the thoughts and noise in my brain all fade away.

There’s nothing left but the sound of my breathing. Until a knock rattles against the door. I don’t move but let out a long sigh. The fist on the other side of the door pounds three more times. “Cecelia called again,” Tobias says through the door. “I gave her the rundown. She says to tell you thank you for your assistance, but please don’t come back to her clubs any time soon. You apparently caused a scene.”

I roll my eyes and push myself to my feet. “Her dealers are allowing card counting and probably sleeping with her customers,” I snap and yank open the door to reveal a smirking Tobias. “She’s lucky the only things I broke were a few noses.”

“I heard it was more than noses,” he chuckles and drapes his arm across my shoulder, pulling me into a side hug. “I just saw Hector slink away with an icepack on his hand. Is everything okay?”

I nod once and pull away from his embrace. “Just reminding him of who sits on the throne and who doesn’t,” I say lightly and take off toward the exit, a little bounce in my step. “I’m heading home for the day.” I pull out my wireless device and hold it up so he can see. “If you need anything from your next meeting, you know how to reach me.”

“Yes, your majesty,” he quips with a small bow as I slip into the elevator and head to the underground parking deck. I make it halfway across the aisle before the hair on the back of my neck stands up and a feeling of unease washes overme. As I reach for my helmet dangling from the handlebars, I feel a presence behind me. I spin around with my key wedged between my fingers, but my punch goes wide as the assailant ducks to the side with ease.

“Oh,” I say lightly and straighten. “It’s just you.” I take in the three masked men as they stalk forward, crowding my space. They stand with their shoulders almost touching, blocking any form of escape.

The diamond mask tilts his head to the side and I smile. Oh, Declan, you really shouldn’t think about doing this. I keep my monologue internal as I size up the other two. I can’t tell which is which as they stand stock still with their hands in their pockets. “Sorry, boys, but I don’t have any candy to give out. Halloween isn’t for a while yet. Try again later,” I say and sit down on the seat of my bike. I lean back against the handlebars and watch the two closely.

The man behind the heart mask stiffens slightly. I can see the muscles in his shoulders tense beneath his black suit. Hayden. I knew he would recognize that the position I’m in is very similar to the one I was in on his bike.

I look over to the spade mask and my eyes drift over his confident stance. Silas. He can switch that masculine persona on and off so well that I’m not sure which is the real him. Then again, I’m not so sure he knows either.

“Listen… Boys… I’m tired. It’s been a long day. Can we do the brooding silent treatment another time?” I move to pull my helmet over my head, but Hayden surges forward and wraps my hair around his fist. He yanks until I’m on my feet and the helmet falls to the ground. “Alright. I guess not,” I sigh loudly and roll my stiff shoulders. Doing this right after an anxiety attack is not ideal, but what can you do?

I twist my body inward quickly and manage to break his hold on my hair, my movements so sudden that it catches them all off guard. They didn’t expect me to fight.

Well the jokes on them. I”ll make you bleed no matter who you are.

I launch into a flurry of attacks on Declan as he lunges forward to restrain me. Hayden stalks around me, trying to find an opening. I look over and note that Silas has stepped back and is not engaging. Two against one. I like those odds. I manage to kick Declan’s legs out from under him, but before Hayden can reach me, I charge at Silas since he is the least prepared.

I figure that I won’t get too far with him before the other two step in, but at least I can rattle his cage before they rattle me. I know they’re smart, and I know that they’ve probably planned out all aspects of this heist. Plus, they have muscles for days, and I don’t stand a chance against all of them at once. Not that I’m willing to put up too much of a fight, because I want to see how this dark fantasy plays out for me.

Silas dodges my punches quickly but makes no moves to fight back. “Come on, Spade, give me something,” I spit the words at him, and he ducks low, dodging my high kick. He doesn’t respond and continues to move around, always keeping me in front of him. I launch another set of punches, but my arms are seized before any of them make contact. I glare from one masked face to the other.

Both Hayden and Declan have a tight grip on each of my arms. I try to kick my feet and jerk away, but they lift me until only my tiptoes are touching the pavement. “Best two out of three?” I ask and grit my teeth as Declan twists my arm behind my back. They remain silent as they lead me to a blacked-out SUV. Hayden restrains my wrists and ankles with paracord before shoving me into the back seat. He slides in beside me and slams the door.

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