Page 44 of Under My Skin

But as unnerving as the…um…giftthat had landed on Braden’s doorstep yesterday was, that wasn’t what had me tiedup in knots right now. What had kept me awake, tossing and turning for most of the night.

No, it was the way he’d acted in the immediate aftermath. It was the way his first instinct in the middle of an anxiety attack hadn’t been to call his PI or one of the detectives working on his case, or even to dial 911. No, he’d calledme. He had hardly been able to string a sentence together, but the only thing he’d cared about in that moment was making sure Isaac and I were safe.

And it was that barely audible confession he’d breathed out when I asked him why he’d done it.

“I wasn’t exactly thinking clearly. I never can when it comes to you.”

That made two of us. From the second I’d met him, it had taken every ounce of strength I possessed to remind myself of what he’d done. Why I hated him. And more and more every day, with every kind thing he did and every sweet word he said to me, it was getting harder and harder to stoke the embers of my fury and keep the fire burning.

“Have they come up with anything else since he left last night?” Morgan asked, bringing me out of my latest existential crisis.

I sighed and grabbed a handful of popcorn before answering. “Yeah. We texted a little after he got home from the police station, and then again this morning. He was too freaked out to notice it at the time, but even though the package was addressed to him, there was no return address or postage on it, which meant it was hand-delivered. He went through the footage on his security camera, and it was someone dressed in motorcycle gear from head to toe, including a helmet. Literally the only thing he could tell was that it was a woman, which we already knew. He gave everything to his PI, so maybe she or the police will be able to come up with something else, but I doubt it. Thiscreeper has been so careful up to this point. There’s no reason to think this’ll be any different.”

“Except this is a major escalation. She went from emails to the both of you to hand-delivering her panties to him. Which, again I say, ugh!” She shuddered dramatically once more. “At least they werenewpanties and not old, crusty ones.”

I couldn’t help it. I laughed. A big, loud belly laugh, and she joined in immediately. Leave it to my best friend to find a joke somewhere in this madness.

“Oh, my God,” I cackled. “Ew!” Now it was my turn to shiver. “You’re disgusting.”

Isaac’s crying cut through our guffawing, and I hopped up to get him out of his swing. I could tell as soon as I got within three feet of him that he needed to be changed…and that it needed the full functionality of the changing table. If the smell hadn’t been enough of a clue, the way he was kicking his little legs and squirming around while wailing at the top of his lungs would have done it. He wasnota fan of poopy diapers.

“I’ll be right back,” I told her, then unstrapped Isaac and picked him up. “Ven conmigo, mi gusanito.”Come with me, my little worm.“Let’s get you out of that dirty diaper and into some clean clothes.”

Instead of staying on the couch, Morgan followed me into Amara’s old bedroom, which had been repurposed into a nursery with some help from Malachi.

“You’re actually voluntarily exposing yourself to the stench of formula sharts?” I teased, raising an eyebrow at her while I struggled to get my little wormy-worm out of his onesie amidst his wiggling and flailing around.

She laughed as she went over to the dresser and grabbed him a clean onesie, then draped it over the railing on the side of the table. “Um, have you forgotten that I’vechangedhis formula shart diapers? Many of them?”

I snorted. “Touché.”

“So, do you know what you and B are doing tonight?”

“Nope. He wouldn’t tell me. All he said was to wear something comfortable that I don’t mind getting dirty. Which I’m really confused by, since I have no idea what kind of dirty activity could possibly help him convince the general public he has a girlfriend. At least not one you can do at night. Can’t exactly build houses for Habitat for Humanity in the dark.”

She giggled. “No, you can’t. Maybe he just wants to take you out on a regular date tonight. No photo ops or questions being shouted at you. Not everything has to be about pushing the narrative.”

Why the hell did a little bubble of hope start to spring up inside me when she said that?

I didn’twantto go on a real date with Braden. I didn’t want to spend any time with him other than what I was obligated to do in that contract.

Yep, just keep on lying to yourself, Dani,the little voice in the back of my head snarked.That’lldefinitelymake those tingles and butterflies go away.

“Um, we’re not really dating, Morgan,” I insisted, doing my best to shake away that thought. “Going on an actual date isn’t part of my job description.”

“Why is it so hard for you to accept that Braden might actually like you? You’re gorgeous, smart, sweet, generous. Oh, and you’re half-Cuban and speak fluent Spanish.”

“Pfft, try fluent Spanglish.”

“The point remains, you’re a catch, babe,” she said softly. “And I know B’s a man whore, but I also know he has a heart of gold. He wouldn’t be leading you on like this if it was just business to him.”

It took everything in me not to groan in utter frustration and anguish.

A month ago, I would have laughed in Morgan’s face. A month ago, there had been nothing I was more certain of than Braden Hicks’s depravity.

But now…

I didn’t know anything anymore. I was floundering. Adrift in a bottomless ocean of feelings and emotions I didn’t know how to swim out of. And if I wasn’t careful, I’d end up drowning in them.

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