Page 47 of Under My Skin

“You gonna be okay, beautiful?” Braden asked quietly as he put his Escalade in park in front of my apartment building.

After I’d somewhat composed myself in the rage room, he had asked me if I wanted to come home, and even though I felt bad that he wasn’t getting his money’s worth, I’d said yes. I was drained. Not just physically – although I was definitely going to be taking some preemptive ibuprofen tonight to try to mitigate the sore arms and back I knew I’d wake up with – but mentally and emotionally too.

I still didn’t know whether tonight’s activities had helped me. Everything was still there. All the pain, grief, anger, heartache, and confusion. The only difference was that I’d actually let myself feel it for once…and now I didn’t know how tostopfeeling it.

But he didn’t need to hear any of that, so I just nodded.

“Yeah. I’ll be fine. Sorry we had to skip axe throwing.”

“It’s okay. I had a feeling we might not get to that. Tonight was for you, not me.” He tucked some of my hair behind my ear before resting his palm on my face. “You want me to come up for a little while? I hate just leaving you like this.”

I shook my head. “I’m okay, really. And Morgan’s here.”

His thumb gently stroked my cheek for several long seconds, and it felt like I needed a machete to cut through the tension as his warm mahogany eyes gazed into mine.

“Okay. Goodnight, beautiful,” he whispered.

Then he leaned across the console and brushed his lips over mine.

Instead of pushing him away like I should have, I found myself slowly, tentatively moving my lips in time with his. Giving in to those godforsaken butterflies for just a moment. Wondering if maybe I could find a way to move past the history he didn’t know existed and make this work.

I blamed that fucking rage room and all the feelings it had brought to the surface, because that was the only possible explanation for why I was acting like this.

Until my sister’s face flitted through my mind. Her agonized screams as she gave birth to that precious little boy. Her slurred final words to Isaac before she fell asleep for the last time. Her lifeless body lying on that hospital bed as a team of medical professionals tried to revive her.

And I remembered that the man I was kissing was responsible for all of it because he was the one who’d put that baby inside her to begin with.

“No!” I exclaimed as I pulled back, choking down the lump that was rising in my throat. “What the hell are you doing?!”

Braden’s eyes widened for a second, but then his shocked expression turned to remorse. “I’m sorry, sweetheart. I wasn’t thinking.”

“No, you weren’t,” I rasped. “I told you this was just business.Nothinghappens in private. Remember?”

He sighed as he went to reach for my face again, but then seemed to think better of it and put his hand on my arm. “If that’s what you still want, I’ll respect it. But I need you to know this stopped being business for me the second I kissed you outside that restaurant two weeks ago.”

God damn it. Why had I everagreed to go through with this? When did feelings evernotenter an equation like this? There was only so much pretending you could do before it wasn’t pretend anymore. And somewhere between his smiles, his concern for me, and watching him interact with the precious baby boy he’d helped create without knowing who it was, I’d crossed that line a mile back.

“Itcan’tbe anything else,” I sniffled. “We have a contract.”

“I’ll tear it up.”

“It’s not that simple, Braden.” My voice was thick with the tears I couldn’t hold back anymore. “You don’t understand.”

“Then help me to,” he said quietly. “Because I can’t just walk away when that contract is up, Dani. I can’t keep pretending you’re not the first thing I think about in the morning and the last thing I think about at night. I can’t act like I don’t see forever every time I look at you. So help me understand why we can’t start fresh without that stupid piece of paper and give this a real shot.”

No.

Absolutely fucking not.

He hadno fucking rightto say shit like that to me after everything he’d done.

“Because you’re the reason my sister’s dead!” I screamed before I could stop myself.

CHAPTER EIGHTEEN

BRADEN

What.The. FUCK?!

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