Page 25 of Mother Pucker

Wonder if I can convince her to see me tonight?

I shake my head, throwing my towel into the used bin after having pulled on my jeans. “Nah, not tonight. I’m beat.”

“Come on! We agreed we’d celebrate all the wins. Don’t hold out on us now.”

I put my wallet and keys into my pocket. “Next time, maybe. I need a night.”

Brooks gives me a disappointed frown before offering a fist-bump. “Alright, brother. Next time, then.”

I’m just getting to my car when I decide to check my email. I was sure she wouldn’t reply, but my heart’s already fluttering like an over-caffeinated butterfly seeing her name in my inbox. God, I sound like such a pussy.

Mr. Parker,

A posterior as ripe as peaches? It’s no wonder I’ve never been a fan of peaches. I wasn’t smiling, nor was I ogling your ass. I was doing oral stretches–it’s a part of my regimen. Thank you for inviting us. Congratulations on the win. How is your pain level after the game?

- Dr. Shayla Kumar, PT, DPT

My eyes stall on the word “oral”, my dick already twitching. Does she even know what she’s setting herself up for? I type back a quick response before unlocking my car and getting in.

Dear Doc,

I think I may have injured my shoulder and that gluteus maximus muscle you love so much. Nothing that couldn’t be fixed with your hands on me again, though. Perhaps I can convince you to give me a massage?

Additionally, I’d very much be interested in learning more about theseoralstretches ofyours. Any chance I could get a demonstration? And thank you for the congrats.

- The defenseman whose ass is the stuff of legends and whispered secrets, Slick

I sit in my car, looking down at my phone and refreshing my mail like it’s some sort of slot machine, when another one pops up.

Mr. Parker,

I see you’re back to crossing the professional boundaries we’d previously agreed to. I am a physical therapist, not a masseuse, so there will be no massaging of your glutes. I’m sorry you seem to have injured yourself further, though I will remind you, I asked you to rest.

If your new injuries continue to bother you, I can examine them at our scheduled time tomorrow evening.

- Dr. Shayla Kumar, PT, DPT

I grin down at the phone, typing out another message.

Dear Doc,

I’m not sure weagreedon any such professional boundaries. I believe you spewed off some mumbo-jumbo about not breaking your rules, and I asked you a simple question, which you never answered: Do you want to know what the reward for breaking the rules would be?

I understand that we have a scheduled session tomorrow; however, I would much rather you examine me tonight to ensure I’m not at risk of sudden death. If it is too much for you to drive to my place, I’m happy to come to yours. Or if you want to give me your number, I can FaceTime you for a visual evaluation.

- The defenseman with a tush as rare as a treasure in a shipwreck, Slick

I wait five minutes for her response. Maybe I pushed too hard, or maybe she’s over my shenanigans and isn’t interested. But the way she looks at me . . . the way she wants to smile but stifles it whenever I irritate her, says she doesn’t hate my obvious flirting.

Or maybe she’s just not telling me she hates it.

But from the little I know of her, she doesn’t strike me as the type to hold back her opinions.

I start my car, looking at my inbox one last time, when I see her response come in.

Mr. Parker,

I can assure you, the chances of your injuries leading to your sudden demise are low. However, if that is something you are legitimately concerned about, then I urge you to seek emergency services.

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