Page 77 of Abyss

I close my eyes, trying to loosen my shoulders the best I can, but as soon as I do, the face of my stress pops into my head.

I take another deep breath, hoping to guide my thoughts elsewhere, but it’s no use.

The woman is under my skin, seeping into my bones and places I haven’t ever considered letting anyone into. Places that have been vacant for far too long. Places I never wanted to fill in the first place.

But fuck if she’s not anything but determined.

The way her eyes glistened when she looked up from herphone a few nights ago when one of her students was in trouble. She was holding back tears, and it made my chest constrict like I was being wound up from the inside. I hated that look on her face. It didn’t matter that I had to fly out first thing in the morning; all I knew was I’d cancel anything—stop fucking time if I had to—to get that look off her face.

Then the way she took those shallow breaths, conjuring up all her courage before walking into the shed . . .

Given the multitude of nightlights in my condo, there are clearly reasons she’s scared of the dark—reasons she hasn’t felt comfortable telling me—and I hate that she can’t tell me. That she won’t tell me.

Watching the way her hand trembled and her shoulders tightened before she opened the shed door made me want to pull her to me, lay my lips on her forehead, and convince her that I’d never let anything happen to her. Never.

But I also knew I couldn’t say words I couldn’t follow through on, because the fact was, she was going to be away from me after this summer and there was no point in hoping I’d be able to protect her from everything.

But fuck, I wanted to.

“You still with me, big guy?”

Piper’s voice streams into my consciousness, and I open my eyes just as she turns my chair so I can lay my head back into the shampoo bowl.

“Yeah, I’m still here.”

“Want to talk about what’s on your mind? You know I don’t charge extra for therapy.” She giggles, turning on the water and adjusting the temperature.

I make some sort of non-committal response but don’t answer.

What would I tell her, anyway? And where would I even start?

Aside from the fact that I haven’t quite reconciled what’s on my mind with how I’m feeling, I also don’t know if I’m ready to bring it all to light through words.

Piper massages the shampoo into my hair, clearly not deterred by my silence. “So, are you all in your head today because of Maddy’s wedding or . . .?”

I lay my hands over my stomach and close my eyes. “Or.”

“Ah,” she responds with a chuckle, as if my one-word response solved a mystery she’d been trying to solve. “You know, I’ve been waiting a long time for you to tell me about an ‘or’.”

“You’ll be waiting a lot longer then.” The spray of warm water around my head, along with the scent of the shampoo she’s using, has a few of those coiled muscles relaxing around my neck.

“Oh, come on, big daddy. Don’t leave me hanging. Tell me about her.”

“No.”

“If she’s got you this wound up, she’s gotta be worth it. I mean, those knots in your neck can only be loosened with a good f—”

“Piper.”

“What?” She laughs. “I was going to say ‘with a good frolic in the park’.”

I give her a deadpan look from my position under her on the bowl. We both know damn well that wasn’t what she was going to say.

Piper flashes her teeth at me, her long sandy-brown hair laying on both sides of her shoulders. “You’re right. I was going to say ‘a good fucking.’”

I shake my head, biting back my smile.

“What’s she like?” she asks, toweling my hair after the rinse.

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