Page 85 of Abyss

Her eyes blaze with intensity and irritation, a deep gaze as endless as an abyss. “Because you made the decision not to.”

My nostrils flare. “I made the decision Ihadto. Theonlydecision that fucking made sense.”

Her finger digs deeper into my chest. “Then what’s the problem? Why are we even having this discussion?”

That’s the million-dollar question, isn’t it? Whatisthe damn problem?

I wrap my hand around her wrist. “The problem is, I can’t fucking stand it.”

“What can’t you stand?” she asks breathlessly. “I don’t crack codes and speak in riddles for a living, Hudson. I need you to be clear. What can’t you stand? That a couple of men flirted with me and you’ve had to watch, or that I flirted back because I’m free to do so?”

“Yes,” I rasp, dipping my head to connect our eyes.

She pauses at my admission, the sharpness in her gaze giving way slightly, but her eyes are still shuttered. “This is what you wanted.”

“I know,” I retort.

“You haven’t spoken a single word to me about that night since—”

“I know.” I grip her wrist tighter, pulling her closer. My pulse races as the scent of lemons and vanilla penetrates my senses.

“You said it would be one night, one time—”

“I lied.”

She blinks in shock. “What?”

“I fucking lied, Kav. I lied to you and to myself.” I grasp her stubborn chin, my eyes dipping to that stud over her lip that I love so fucking much.

Her pupils dilate. “About what?”

“About not wanting you day in and out. About thinking I would only need one night, one time—” I take in a stuttered breath, cupping her cheeks. “I won’t watch random assholes speak to you like they stand a chance with you, like they deserve your time.”

“Do you deserve my time?” she asks with a haughty tilt of her head.

“No,” I answer sincerely. “But I want it, anyway.”

Her eyes search mine. “So this is about you being jealous? Is that it?”

“Yes. Yes, I’m fucking jealous,” I declare, feeling lighter having let my words free.

“No.” She shakes her head, her fingers wrapping around my forearms to pull my hands from her face. “I’m sorry, Hudson, but that’s not good enough for me.”

She steps away and my body leans forward, immediately chasing her warmth.

“I need more than your macho declarations, claiming me only when you feel threatened. I need something real.” A rueful smile tips the side of her mouth. “I don’t want someone who thinks he can erase me from his system after one night—”

“I couldn’t erase you if I tried,” I cut in, leaning against the wall behind me and dropping my hands against my thighs. “Don’t you see that? Don’t you fucking see that even when I am trying my best to stay away, I can’t?”

I stare at her, waiting for her to grasp my admission before coming clean with another. “I didn’t need you on the RCS account, Kav. Personnel changes weren’t part of the contract; they happen all the time, and I could have pulled in any temp to cover the admin position for a few weeks.”

She blinks, a jigsaw coming into place. “You made up a salary I couldn’t say no to, a reason why I had to move in with you . . .”

“I’m not ashamed of it, and I’d do it again.”

“Why? Why would you do that?”

I lift both my hands and then drop them again, along with all my restraint. It’s rare for me to let myself be vulnerable, but with Kavi, no other choice exists. The gates have to be wide open or reinforced with titanium.

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