Page 100 of Pretend for Me

And it never will.

Holding my hip with one hand, he pulls out and fills me to the hilt, so that he ends where I begin, begins where I end. He places kisses on my collarbone, then his favorite moles on my neck, before finding my lips.

We kiss, deep and lost in the pleasure, and his fingers find my clit as he continues to drive into me. But it’s not frenzied or fast; it’s perfect. Everything I could have imagined and so much more.

Taking his mouth off mine, he sucks on my nipple, making me arch off the bed. My nails dig into his back as our skin slides against each other.

We find a rhythm as Dev snaps his hips, filling me again and again. My fingertips lower, pressing into his ass as I guide him inside me, while we watch each other.

Our mouths are slack. Not a word is exchanged yet so much is spoken.

It’s terrifying and freeing all at once. Like bungee jumping into a void.

But there’s nowhere I’d rather be.

And when he slips his arm under me, bringing me closer, I wrap myself tighter around him. We move in tandem, slowand fast, erratic and steady. Like we’ve done this a million times.

But it’s when we’re both coming together, groaning and melting into each other, that he truly terrifies me even as he makes me see stars.

His lips move against mine, but there’s no mistaking the words. At least, the ones I understand.

“I love you, my beautiful Piper.Tujhse jeetna toh hamesha namumkin tha, meri jaan. Par tujhse harna, jannat pane ke barabar.”?1

1 Winning against you was always going to be impossible, sweetheart. But losing to you is equal to finding heaven.

thirty-four

piper

Am I Dying?

His words chime in the air surrounding us as moments pass with him still inside me.

My eyes draw up to the enormous chandelier in his room, its tiers of sparkling crystals cascading like winter icicles, fragile but glimmering.Hanging by a thread. My fingers run mindlessly over his slick back as we both gather our breaths.

God, that was . . .

Every breath and touch.

Every pulse and thrust.

He wasn’t just inside me; he was coursing through my blood.

Dev shifts, trailing kisses along my neck before he removes himself from me. An emptiness takes a hold of me as I watch him walk to the bathroom. It makes my chest feel like a hollow and barren cavity.

He comes back with his briefs on, carrying a washcloth. Getting back on the mattress, he takes his time, gently wiping me down before throwing the towel into a nearby hamper.

He loves me?

Love.

Like the kind I’ve guarded my heart against all this time.Like the kind that leaves you bleeding out and raw in the bowels of your own misery.

A part of me that wants to believe it, to believe him. A part of me wants to dive headfirst and leave my worries behind, letting myself get lost in the tenderness of his touch.

But the other part? That voice I’m so used to speaks up again, asking me what would happen if I said those words back, only for him to realize years later that I was never worth it.

Are you enough, Piper? Are you enough to keep a man like him?

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