Page 105 of Pretend for Me

Dean Meyer

What? Dude, are you okay? Why are you talking like a machine? That’s Hudson’s job.

Hudson Case

Fuck, what happened? What do you mean, no wedding? Did you tattoo your dick too and now she really can’t see the little that was there?

Dean Meyer

For the last time, I didn’t tattoo my dick.

Dev Menon

I mean no wedding. She left.

Dean Meyer

After you bought yourself that furry G-string and those rabbit ears to wear for your next role-play and everything?! Some women have no appreciation for men like us. Her loss, man. Her loss.

Hudson Case

Dean, seriously? Haven’t we had enough nauseating visuals for one day? Dev, what led to this?

Dev Menon

Told her I loved her, and she made like a sock in the dryer. Poof! I made a mistake. Biggy big steak.

Darian Meyer

The hell? Guys, he doesn’t sound right to me. Dev, are you drunk?

Dean Meyer

I’m still stuck on the sock reference. Did she get pissed about her whites turning pink?

Garrett Meyer

@Dev Menon, where are you?

Dev Menon

On Mars.

Dean Meyer

Jesus, bro. Please tell us you’re not drowning in a tub full of hundred-dollar bills. It’s not a bad way to go, but a little cliché, don’t you think? Unless you’re also petting a hairless pussy. A wet, hairless pussy. Now that I’d get behind.

Get it? Get behind a wet hairless pussy?

[Darian Meyerhas left the chat]

[Dean Meyerhas addedDarian Meyerto the chat]

Dean Meyer

Darian, bro, this is no time for you to prude out. We’re in a crisis here!

Hudson Case

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