Page 118 of Pretend for Me

For the past two months, Dev and I have been living here with Deepak and Claire so that we don’t miss a moment withher. Because God knows, we’ll miss all the moments after this . . . Every shared smile, the peaceful moments in her garden when she’d reach for my hand, and each adoring look toward her husband and children. They’re all slipping away.

I lean against the wall, needing it to hold me upright. The tea grows cold, long forgotten, as tears run down my face. My heart shreds inside my chest, breaking for this family I’ve come to love as my own and for my proud and stoic father-in-law—a man I’ve come to care for as a father—crumbling and helpless at the feet of his dying wife.

“Promise me you’ll be there for our kids,” Claire pleads softly. “Promise to show them love daily. They need you, Deepak?—”

“They needyou,” he cries, his voice cracking. A tear slips from his eye and drops to her chest when he lifts to look at her. “I need you.”

Claire’s shaky finger finds his chest. “You have me, right here. You will always have me, my love. Always.”

There’s a moment of silence, broken only by Deepak’s sobs, and I realize that there have been very few moments over the past couple of weeks where Claire has been lucid enough to hold a conversation. And while I bring her tea every day, most of the time it lies untouched on her nightstand. It’s both gut wrenching and relieving to see her be conscious.

But I know it won’t last . . .

Suddenly, Claire’s head turns gently on her pillow and her pale eyes connect with mine. And even as a tender smile turns up her lips, my heart drops to my stomach, as if knowing we’re in our final moments together.

“Piper . . .” she says, reaching out her hand as I rush to her side.

Leaving the teacup on her nightstand, I tangle my fingers with hers, my tears flowing in endless streams over my face. My throat is so tight, I’m not sure I’ll ever find my voiceagain.

It’s then that I understand what heartbreak is.

It isn’t just an emotion, it’s a state of being and a reluctant realization that your world is about to be altered forever. It’s both a deafening silence and a quiet cacophony that somehow weighs more than anything else you’ve had to carry.

“Call Dev and Deena, honey,” she says softly, but her words thunder inside my ears, pulling a sob out of my chest. “I . . . I think it’s time for me to say goodbye.”

epilogue

Piper - Six Months Later

“Rome, sweetheart, look up or you’ll miss most of the game,” Sarina says with a mix of exasperation and affection in her voice.

Rome reluctantly lowers the hardback in his hands,“Spacey Cadets Space Facts,”squinting against the bright sunlight to look at the baseball pitch. He’s wearing his favorite NASA hat, with its bill far too low on his forehead, and glasses that depict Mercury today, along with a Bay Area Blazers jersey Dev bought for him.

We’re all wearing the team’s jerseys, in fact, sitting on our plush recliners—Sarina and I flanking Rome on each side, with Dev on my other side—right behind home plate in the owner’s box, courtesy of my husband, who is now a minority stakeholder for the Bay Area Blazers.

Dev’s thumb caresses mine before he brings our entangled fingers to his lips and presses a soft kiss on my ring.

A ring I hold dear, not only because of the man who gave it to me, but because of the woman it originally belonged to. A woman who we’ll forever miss for as long as we live.

After saying her goodbyes to her children like she’d wanted to, Claire passed peacefully with all of us at her side.

But there’s not a day that goes by where we don’t miss her.

For weeks after her passing, there were nights I’d cry myself to sleep on Dev’s chest, and days I’d hold him while he sobbed into mine.

She’d taken a piece of our souls with her.

But she’d given a piece of hers in return.

I used that piece of her soul, and all the love she gave to me in such a short amount of time, to create my own rose garden in our backyard this spring.

In fact, just like Claire’s, I can see it through our kitchen and have spent many of my mornings out there, drinking tea just like she used to, thanking her for everything she did for me.

Who knew that her one wish to see her son married would become a wish I didn’t even know I had—to find the greatest love of my life? Whether intentionally or not, she willed my happily-ever-after into existence, and I’ll always be grateful for that.

Deepak and Deena were wrecked after Claire’s passing but have slowly found a way to move forward. And though it took Deepak a while to emerge from his grief, he never forgot the promises he made to his wife at the end—to love and be there for his children.

He’s spending more time with both of them, making a conscious effort to be present. With Deena, he’s learning to balance being both a mother and a father, giving her the emotional support she needs as she heads into adolescence. With Dev, he’s working on mending their previous relationship and establishing new traditions, like weekly long hikes where they talk more as friends, rather than father and son.

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