Page 28 of Pretend for Me

Dev Menon

I needed a bride and she owed me a debt.

Garrett Meyer

Owed you a debt? Who are you, fucking Jaime Lannister from Game of Thrones? Who repays a debt for a bad haircut with a lifetime commitment?

Hudson Case

Wait. Is this MY Piper? The stylist I sent you to? Why the hell would she agree to something like this? Is she in some kind of financial trouble?

Dev Menon

Firstly, please refrain from using my fiancée’s name with any sort of possession. She is not YOUR anything. Secondly, this has nothing to do with money. She didn’t ask for a dime from me.

Dean Meyer

Ooh did you guys hear that? You know, the sound of Hudson’s balls being handed to him?

Hudson Case

What I heard was Dev acting like a caveman.

Dev Menon

As if you’d do anything less if I’d said the same thing about Kavi.

Hudson Case

Nah. I’d have done a whole lot more.

Darian Meyer

So, circling back to the event that’s currently on every news channel, @Dev Menon, are you saying she’s marrying you out of pity? Because the last time we checked, you were just trying to grow your hair back after she hacked it off and you guys seemed to be on the outs.

Dean Meyer

Oh, there was something growing alright. It just happened to be in his pants.

Garrett Meyer

Clearly length isn’t an issue for her, then. Good for you, man. Why should only the long and girthy guys get all the action?

Dean Meyer

Don’t forget pierced .

But seriously, I’m happy for you and Snipperella. Your short stick deserves more action than what that sex doll in your room that looks like a nun can give you.

[Dev Menonhas left the chat]

[Darian Meyerhas left the chat]

[Dean Meyerhas addedDev Menonto the chat]

[Dean Meyerhas addedDarian Meyerto the chat]

Dean Meyer