Page 91 of Pretend for Me

A Lesbunny Situation

Istare at the vet in shock.

“Ms. Parker, are you alright?”

I can feel my lips moving but no words seem to be coming out. I’ve become a mime. No, wait, mimes don’t move their lips. I’ve become a ventriloquist’s dummy with a mute ventriloquist.

Dev places his hand on the small of my back, asking the vet to give us a moment, and as soon as she leaves, Dev’s hands find my face. His thumbs run along the tops of my cheeks, his eyes dancing with mirth.

I told him last night that I didn’t need him to accompany me—I know how crazy things have been for him at work. He’s also been spending a lot of his free time with his mom. But he insisted on being here, saying this was important for him too because he felt like he’d become a part of the whole rabbit breeding experience.

I can’t be sure, but I swear his lips are doing that twitchy thing when he’s trying to hold back a laugh. “Hey, are you okay?”

I blink out of my stupor. “They’re both . . . girls?”

His cheeks puff, and now I know the bastard is trying tohold back a grin. “It looks as though we might have been trying to create alesbunnysituation, yes.”

“Oh, my God,” I stammer, my hand finding my forehead, but I do think it’s sweet he says “we,” taking some of the blame off me. “How could this have happened? The breeder promised me they would mate in due time. How could he have misread their genders?!”

“Well, it’s like the vet told us. Rabbit genders can be hard to determine at times. And Kevin does have a strange nodule near her . . .” He waves a hand, flicking a glance at my rabbit who just laid a string of poop in her kennel.

“After everything I’ve done,” I complain, still feeling like I’ve been duped. “The Rabbit Sex Playlist, the club lights, the various diets, the number of times I playedKama Sutrafor them on my phone . . .”

“Let’s not forget our live performance for them,” he adds, chuckling but quickly removes the grin off his face when he sees the murderous look on mine.

His hands tighten over my jaw, eyes softening with affection. “Hey, look. This doesn’t mean you have to throw in the towel on this, okay? Now that we know Kevin and Natalie’s dating preferences, we just have to find them opposite genders. Just a plot-twist in theirhare-yrom-com.” He purses his lips again to hold back another chuckle, and I pinch his side, making his shoulders shake with laughter.

“Dev, this isn’t funny!” I whine. “Miniature plush lop rabbits are rare. We might not find any for a while, and?—”

“Shh,” he says, putting a finger over my lips that I want to bite. “Let’s worry about this tomorrow. Right now, you have to get to your dress fitting. You can’t be late for that since your friends will be waiting. Ralph’s in the front for you.”

My shoulders sink with disappointment, but I know he’s right. My sister-in-law and my mom flew in this morning, and they’re waiting for me along with my friends at the boutique.And it’s one of the last things I have left to do, now that Dev and I have finished cake tasting, and Dev has claimed sole responsibility for the music. We went with a classic three-tier, raspberry-filled ivory cake that will be adorned with Claire’s roses.

I nod, looking up at him. “You’re right.”

His eyes caress my face the way I’ve gotten used to before he dips his face down, brushing his lips over mine. And while I know this isn’t the time or place, I pull him closer, deepening the kiss for a little longer.

“Why did you bring me here, Ralph?” I ask Dev’s chauffeur when he parks the car at the entrance of the Fairmont in Nob Hill. “The dress fitting is at the boutique in San Jose.”

Ralph exits the driver’s side and opens my door. “Mr. Menon had the entire party moved here, Mrs. Menon. He arranged transportation for everyone so your friends are all inside already.”

Wait, what?

He helps me out of the back seat. “What do you mean, he moved the party here? Also, I’m not Mrs. Menon yet. Please, just call me Piper.”

Ralph gives me a smile. “Apologies, Mrs. Menon, but according to the email sent to Mr. Menon’s entire staff yesterday, we are to refer to you as Mrs. Menon going forward.”

Oh, geez. I hold back my eye roll as I make my way toward the entrance of the hotel.

Pulling out my phone, I text the man responsible for the sudden changes.

Me

You instructed the staff to call me Mrs. Menon?

Dev

I figured your nicknames, Peter,meri jaan, and little hellion were reserved for me. But if you prefer they call you one of those . . .

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